[kreg]

Have you had an extramarital affair? Do you have a fond memory to share? I always remember sitting the car after lovemaking with the country music station on the radio. The soft beautiful music was perfect for the occasion. Otherwise I never listen to country music.

[curley]

Hello Kreg, strange question! Have you had an extra marital affair? LOL
\Well since you asked does it count if I cheated on a man I lived with for 5 years! I think it does. It was not a good thing, It was not a good time, It was nothing good at all, and then living with guilt and feeling like a real piece of you know what! I think if I was ever to want to be with someone else while in a relationship or married, I would break off the first relationship or get a divorce!

[divine1966]

The answer is “no”. I am a little unsure why you asked? Confused why soft beautiful music is perfect for the occasion of cheating?

[mote.of.soul]

Oh, it's all falling into place now kreg. This is why you kept dreaming about rats in the Sleep Issues & Dream Interpretation forum on here, because as I pointed out, rats in dreams represent 'deceit and covert activities'! I was right! Lol

[kreg]

Originally Posted by divine1966

The answer is “no”. I am a little unsure why you asked? Confused why soft beautiful music is perfect for the occasion of cheating?

I guess if you blindly accept it as cheating. Like if you are hungry and find something to eat. It's gonna be different in each case. Sometimes it could be called cheating, sometimes it's the right thing to do. Always question authority (definitions) and think for yourself.

[kreg]

Originally Posted by mote.of.soul

Oh, it's all falling into place now kreg. This is why you kept dreaming about rats in the Sleep Issues & Dream Interpretation forum on here, because as I pointed out, rats in dreams represent 'deceit and covert activities'! I was right! Lol

You could be right but most dream experts say the bottom line is each person can have different meanings. I'd love to have a pet rat. If you read up on them they make great and loving pets. But yes maybe the dream just says I was loving what I was doing, not something decietful. Anyway thanks for your input.

[TishaBuv]

I reached out to keep in touch with old boyfriends. If my marriage had been happy and healthy, I don’t think I would have. For me, the lure of facebook was too tempting. I “friended” ALL my exes. That’s been rather nice, actually, as they are just facebook friends now and I enjoy their posts. Even emotional affairs are indeed affairs and cheating. I didn’t have any sexual affairs. I did try to form a new relationship and leave my husband, but it didn’t work. Now we’re divorcing and there is no one else for me.

Yes, I have fond memories, tender moments, sweet nothings... that’s what living life is all for!

But, be true to yourself and don’t devastate your partner by cheating on them. If you aren’t happy, leave.

[kreg]

Originally Posted by curley

Hello Kreg, strange question! Have you had an extra marital affair? LOL
\Well since you asked does it count if I cheated on a man I lived with for 5 years! I think it does. It was not a good thing, It was not a good time,

There is something below the level of conscious mind that drives these things.
At the fundamentalist Bible level it's always cheating. On the flip side somebody said All in love is fair. Why would they say such a thing? I will always ask if anyone will be hurt by my actions and go from there. We don't hold our beliefs. Our beliefs hold and control us.

[divine1966]

Originally Posted by kreg

I guess if you blindly accept it as cheating. Like if you are hungry and find something to eat. It's gonna be different in each case. Sometimes it could be called cheating, sometimes it's the right thing to do. Always question authority (definitions) and think for yourself.

Of course it depends like if it’s open marriage/you are swingers etc and your spouse is aware of who you sleep with on the side, then yes it’s not cheating. Is that what you referring to? If your spouse doesn’t know though then it’s deceitful and i am not entirely sure how deceit could be “the right thing to do”.

Unless of course one is doing it to save his life. Like with gun to his head. You either die or cheat type of thing (unrealistic but could be maybe in a movie episode).

I don’t think deceit and dishonesty are questionable because any authority told me so. Most people don’t think deceit is the right thing to do.

[TishaBuv]

My grandma used to say, “A man would screw a snake if it had hips”

[kreg]

Originally Posted by kreg

Have you had an extramarital affair? Do you have a fond memory to share? I always remember sitting the car after lovemaking with the country music station on the radio. The soft beautiful music was perfect for the occasion. Otherwise I never listen to country music.

Some might find this question abhorrent but if it's part of human psychology you surely don't want to sweep it under. You gotta look at it.

[divine1966]

Originally Posted by kreg

There is something below the level of conscious mind that drives these things.
At the fundamentalist Bible level it's always cheating. On the flip side somebody said All in love is fair. Why would they say such a thing? I will always ask if anyone will be hurt by my actions and go from there. We don't hold our beliefs. Our beliefs hold and control us.

I agree that unconscious and instincts often drives our desires and emotions. However human beings are capable to act on concious level. We aren’t young children or animals. Do you really think adults can’t cintrol themselves and must act on unconscious impulses at all times?

[TishaBuv]

Originally Posted by kreg

Some might find this question abhorrent but if it's part of human psychology you surely don't want to sweep it under. You gotta look at it.

Well, yes, because you are glorifying your affair and it is disrespectful and hurtful to your spouse. If you cheat, don’t look for support about it.

[divine1966]

I agree that you “gotta look at it”. It’s important to look into why you choose a life of deciept and why do you want strangers to support you in your choices. I wouldn’t “sweep it under the rug” (if it was me doing it) but address it with a professional.

If this thread is about cheating, yes it is abhorrent. Why would someone even create such a thread? I am very confused.

My boyfriend loves me dearly and would never dream of cheating on me. He knows how hurt I've been in past relationships due to that reason and many others. Same goes the other way. I would never even think of it! I love him and am 100% devoted to him.

[kreg]

Originally Posted by divine1966

I agree that unconscious and instincts often drives our desires and emotions. However human beings are capable to act on concious level. We aren’t young children or animals. Do you really think adults can’t cintrol themselves and must act on unconscious impulses at all times?

Not at all times but I've seen it happen a few times. When you get two people together like in a workplace setting just like acid and metal things start to heat up. In time the heat is intense. Sex is a powerful drive. We are human animals first. Then come societies rules and concocted beliefs. Some unconscious forces are more like the tide than a wave.

[divine1966]

Originally Posted by kreg

Not at all times but I've seen it happen a few times. When you get two people together like in a workplace setting just like acid and metal things start to heat up. In time the heat is intense. Sex is a powerful drive. We are human animals first. Then come societies rules and concocted beliefs. Some unconscious forces are more like the tide than a wave.

Then you should be able to inform your spouse (and your employer) and make your affair public.

Surely if you cannot control your sexual desires, you wouldn’t be able to control telling others about your affairs.

If you believe that affairs are ok and you have no self control, then why lie and deceit? Or you have no self control when it comes to sex yet ton of self control keeping your affairs secret? Seems rather convenient loss of self control.

[mote.of.soul]

Originally Posted by kreg

But yes maybe the dream just says I was loving what I was doing, not something decietful. Anyway thanks for your input.

Well, whether the dream was saying it was deceitful or not, I'm saying it's deceitful. Because deceit and dishonesty aren't concepts created by society as you're suggesting, but actual things with negative consequences to both the person being deceitful, you, and to others involved or being hurt. That's why it's wrong. It will all catch up to you one day, then you'll really be listening to that country music, nodding your head saying, "yes, yes, I can relate", heh.