[twistypringle98]

The title says it, and I really believe it. I believe that my sister wants to drive me insane and for me to commit suicide. I know harsh, right? but she is the only person that I really talk to besides my parents, and she has said some pretty numb-nuts things if she doesn't want me to believe that.

She has said that she has thought about killing my parents and I since she was in high school or even younger. She wants to slash my dad's tires. She wants to say that she is spiritual because we went to Catholic schools and because "she has lived and learned so much". But she has really actually sacrificed a bird in the kitchen as "witchcraft". She even believes in crystals. She does drugs all teh time like meth and coke and weed and drinks alcohol none stop. She even asked me to pee in a cup for her like she is going to get me arrested sometime for doing that for her.

I'm not stupid enough to believe that she wants anything good for me in my life. She has tons of "friends" who are such losers. They probably all live over at my parents' house where she lives. (My parents own two houses). One time she actually wanted to throw a house party and was stupid enough to write it all over Facebook.

I believe that she has spread rumors that I'm a lesbian, do heroin, freaky religious, and that I want to have sex with her even. She really is cruel, and like I said, there is no one else I know that would be doing these things. People actually say these things to me and I get called schizophrenic when I bring them up to my parents or her?

She really is a cruel person just to be around because she fakes her anxiety just because her friend is an actress and is probably teaching her how to be the best actress around. I can read body language like a hawk. I really am not that stupid.


So I guess I'm wondering how to make things work with her. I've thought about calling the police on her because of how high she is all the time. I've thought about taking her to the hospital but the emergency room doesn't do s***. Mostly I just blow off all the psychological abuse I take from her but I went downhill in the past few weeks because I couldn't stand anything anymore. All I say is that she is cruel and just doesn't understand herself when she thinks that she is an empath! She don't feel a thing for anybody except herself. She doesn't even love the woman who brought her into the world. She said that she wished Mom would have aborted her and screamed it to her right out in the open. She doesn't feel, and I really do believe that she is a sociopath. Sorry!

Back to the point: what can I do with her besides just ignoring her? I've actually cried about the way that she treats my family when she always makes fun of everybody passive aggressively and doesn't want to take any of it when it comes back to her. "If you don't want hell, stay out of my kitchen". That is what she thinks about and then doesn't want anybody to be angry with her.

Sorry this was so long.

[healingme4me]

Unless your family recognizes the need for intervention, sometimes no contact and walking away is what's needed for self preservation.

Sounds very toxic.

[twistypringle98]

I think no contact would be beneficial also, but I have to take my sis to and from work on most days. She has been sick today and yesterday and found rides the couple days before though.

I thought about seriously cutting off my relationship with her because it was clear that she was making fun of the thing that got me sent to the hospital. She is such a hypocrite because she can say the things that I say to her to other people, but I can't say them to her! (I mean she gets upset when I do the same things she does when she is angry).

My parents have said enough is enough of her drug habits. I don't think they want to do anything about it besides making her flush it down the toilet when she gets caught with it.

This may not be the right place to really spill the beans about her, but she really is a horrible, hurtful person. She wants it to sting real bad and not have anything come her way because of her own actions. I don't trust her, and she keeps my life a roller coaster. I just plain don't like her. She doesn't think that though, and I'm not stupid enough to think that she likes me either.

[healingme4me]

Why is transporting her anywhere, your responsibility?

[Quarter life]

On close examination of our lives, sometimes we have to make the hard decision to simply cut ties with family or those in our inner circle. Self preservation needs to be at the top of our lists. Down the track there may be a time when you can reconnect with your sister as equals...but you are your first priority right now.

[twistypringle98]

Originally Posted by healingme4me

Why is transporting her anywhere, your responsibility?

I take her to and from work most days because she doesn't have a license or car. My parents have asked me to help her out when she needs it, but it gets a it grating when I know she's drunk or high. I truly do care about her though. She's had a rougher life then I believe I understand and has a bit of grit about it. I think I wanted to vent about a lot of things on PC about her because sometimes enough is enough, you know? I can see me taking a break though and just letting things blow over for things said. I've been in a really bad mood recently.

[healingme4me]

Venting is certainly better than stuffing it all down.

I would think you'd have the right to make it known what behavior in the car you will and will not tolerate.

[twistypringle98]

Thank you for being concerned.

I haven't set any ground rules because she is older than me, but I think I will mention to her that I don't want any pot in the car now that you bring that up. She has a habit of smoking it before work and keeps it in her purse. I honestly don't know how she gets along with life when something like that is hanging around. I'm not a pot smoker, but have heard both great and bad things about it. I would never try it because I've heard that it can bring about a psychotic episode and I already have schizoaffective disorder, bipolar type.

Anyway, venting really was nice because I really do think that I might just prioritize myself more and just in general think about myself more. (Not in a way that means I'm getting a big ego though). I went from really, really depressed to actually quite refreshed having people know a bit of my story. I keep to myself most of the time and feel like unleashing myself unto the world sometime.

I'm planning on doing something like Gretchen Rubin's book The Happiness Project soon and would like her to do things with me because genuinely I'm concerned about the way she treats herself and others. I think she misses the structure of school to be honest. IDK. She just needs some structure, and I tend to plan things when I really want something to happen.

Thank you all for reading and being nice about a genuine panic attack of mine that I've been having often.