[Kurushi22]

There is an age old saying that goes: you can choose your friends but you can't choose your family.
Technically I don't think it's that accurate. I would say we gravitate towards people we "click" with. We don't choose our friends- not consciously any way- we are just attracted to certain qualities or personalities. I won't waffle on. As a person who has found themselves "In Between friends" I would be interested to know peoples opinions on the forums. Mental health issues really tests the fragile ties of friendship.

[Deejay14]

I believe we do choose our friends. We might gravitate towards certain people but then it is up to two people to develop the friendship.

[eskielover]

Yes, we chose our friends. I am involved in many groups. I have much in common with all of them but many stay at the acquaintance level. It takes both people to put effort into making an acquaintance into a friendship & we chose who we want to put that effort into & who puts the effort into making it a friendship on their part too. It is not a one way street

[*Laurie*]

My 3 best friends are women I've known for 50 - 55 years. 1 I met when she was born; I was 6 months old and certainly do not recall the "meeting" . Another, we were both 5 years old and were next-door neighbors. The 3rd, we were in 2nd grade. I guess we sort-of chose each other.

[ShadowGX]

I definitely choose my friends. I don't always make the best choices, but it's always a choice who I decide to allow be a part of my life like that and who I remove from it. As already said, we may gravitate towards some, but ultimately it's a choice by both people to further that gravitation and turn it into friendship or to leave it alone.

[Junerain]

All my friends are from a mental health support group...so they are understanding and kind. I quickly dismiss anyone who isn't...it's easy to work at those friendships, that are WORTH working at...and gently let go of those that aren't, to me..

[autonoe]

I believe that we choose our friends, and I also believe that mental health issues will test the strength of a friendship. My closest friend in the world, who has been my closest friend for over twenty years, has never heard me talk about my depression. And now we haven't talked in months, and she's angry and confused over this, and it's because I've never told her about my depression. Her birthday is soon, and I need to get in touch with her, and I guess I will see how understanding she can be. She may not be at all because she may think that I just cut her off for no reason. At that point, she may choose to end our relationship for good.

[*Laurie*]

Originally Posted by Junerain

All my friends are from a mental health support group...so they are understanding and kind. I quickly dismiss anyone who isn't...it's easy to work at those friendships, that are WORTH working at...and gently let go of those that aren't, to me..

More and more, my close friends are others who are working with their mental illnesses. I feel comfortable with them, and I trust them more than "other" people. I find people with mental illness tend to be much more aware, genuine, and open-minded than "neurotypical" people are.

[eskielover]

Wow, In the new community (11years now) I have moved to knowing no one when I moved here, my friends now are women all interested in horses & other activities, my church family who are amazing, my ballroom dance group, & professionals & business owners in town. Being it is a small town & I got involved in the community along with a volunteer group out of town at the Ky horse park that has given me friends from other states & communuties in my state. I have only one friend from my DBT group that I still socialize with because we had the most in common.

I still have days when I struggle wirh my mental health issues but it was mostly resolved when I left the environment that seemed to be causing it & the outstanding T I have had here. I am almost more functional than before my depression hit in 1994 thoygh I doubt I could handle the continual stress of the computer engineering career I had for 15 years.

I have stayed in contact wirh several from my previous life & they are my eyes during this horrible divorce.

I find that I am finally surrounded by understanding & supportive people I never experienced EVER BEFORE in my life. I can share with them more about what I went through when it comes up in conversation & they understand more than any time before in my life also. I have found the ability to actually connect with people where my environment & then the depression & environment keep it from happening before. The freedom I finally have in my life has opened my own ability to connect with people way beyond anything I ever before experienced in life. Love it that my last half of life is so much more fulfillung than the first half & to have people I can actually trust & respect for the first time also.

[avlady]

Eskielover, i am happy for you, you have a second chance to start all over and have already been growing positivley! Yes, freedom is great and makes us feel happy. hope you keep up the good work!!!