[RubySapphire]

When things get bad for my girlfriend, I'm expected to be there, but when I need her it feels like I still have to be there for her while she feels so far away from me.

My issues feel like they get brushed off while she expects hers to be my whole life. I'm drained.

Everytime I need her, she coincidentally happens to be busy with her own issues and everything is all about her again.

I recently stopped medication (with my doctors opinion) in order to start a new one in a week, this week was expected to be tough and I know I can't blame her for becoming her worst at this time, but it feels like its on purpose.

Everytime when I'm expected to have a terrible week, she always somehow ends up having a flare of mental illness, so I have to be there for myself - and her.

It's difficult, and sometimes I'm tempted to teach her a lesson, even though I know it'd hurt her and myself - so then she could realize things aren't all about her.

You want someone to be there for you. They don't have to be your girlfriend, they can also be a friend or a therapist. Do you see a therapist?

It can be very problematic when a person is not there for you when you need them, since the relationship is inequal
Time for a pros and cons measurement of the relationship. If it's all about one person then it's not a relationship

[MickeyCheeky]

Have you tried to talk with her about this problem? I don't think the way you're being treated is fair

[WasabiAlmonds]

You're not the rock of the relationship... you're the codependent... and she's the narcissist.

Funny how we find each other.

Write down your needs and if she's not willing to satisfy then it's time to find someone who will.

You may need some group before you're emotionally ready to do this, though.

Originally Posted by WasabiAlmonds

You're not the rock of the relationship... you're the codependent... and she's the narcissist.

Funny how we find each other.

Write down your needs and if she's not willing to satisfy then it's time to find someone who will.

You may need some group before you're emotionally ready to do this, though.

Better not diagnose someone
I know it's sometimes what we unfortunately have to do when we try to understand something, but it's not going to help OP make a decision, especially the right one

[ShadowGX]

Definitely try to talk to her about this, but as non-confrontational as possible. Make sure you're in a calm mood and ask if you can talk to her about something very important. If you fear she will say no or get very defensive, maybe consider couple's counseling instead. If she's unwilling to hear you out and try to improve her behavior then you might need to consider leaving for your own sake and find someone who can treat you as you deserve.

[MrMoose]

Originally Posted by RubySapphire

My issues feel like they get brushed off while she expects hers to be my whole life. I'm drained.

Everytime I need her, she coincidentally happens to be busy with her own issues and everything is all about her again.

So you’ve identified a pattern which seems compketely unsustainable in the long run because a relationship isn’t all about fulfilling her needs, it’s supposed to be about creating a partnership where you both move forward in life together. So, whatever the psychiatric makeup of the partnership, what you’ve said suggests that you both need to be present or you need to split. That might be somethong to work on together. If she doesn’t agree maybe she’s not a good partner for you.

[Erebos]

I am inclined to agree with wasabi on this.
Even if you take out the actual diagnosis.
The pattern of behavior is there. And it's unhealthy...remember you can't change her, you can only change yourself, how you respond to her, wether you continue to put up with it.

She very clearly doesn't like losing the spotlight or center stage. So can you be happy clinging on in the background nursing her needs, accepting it may not be possible for her to ever return the favour.

Time for a long hard think. Good luck.

[RubySapphire]

Thank you all, I really am starting to reconsider...Thing is approaching her means she automatically becomes defensive and thinks shes not good enough.

Today, I had an issue with my social anxiety and told her off quite suddenly, I think shes quite upset now and she often gets quickly irritated with me everytime I have a problem....She's gone offline now. (This was over text)
EDIT: She came back online saying "Sorry I felt sick"

Thing is her problems are justified and hard to deal with, so its understandable sometimes why she doesn't have time to be there for me. I can't help but wonder if maybe I'm being selfish...but its not often I need her to comfort me. Once every two months even, now that I've been medicated and gone to therapy.

Unfortunately, I'm in need of a new therapist, since I feel she's just not helping, it feels like I'm talking to a brick wall...