Going out with a friend

So I want to have lunch with a male friend but I don't know how to tell my boyfriend. I don't want him to come with me just because I'm a private person and have always socialised 1:1 Also, because if there are more than two People I'm always the quiet one so i generally end up saying nothing so it's uncomfortable for me and I don't really get to socialize. We're both loners so we don't really have anyone else to join us. My friend doesn't see the big deal because he's single. I just dont want my bf to worry I'm being unfaithful because I'm not and don't want to be ever. But I'm worried how he will respond.. will he get angry or annoyed. If he does I'll start feeling guilty and like a horrible person. I've started to think about some options. Ive thought about just not telling him. But I feel like that's kinda lying.
It comes down to the fact that I hate confrontations and emotions run and ruin my life

How did the lunch plans come into the picture?

I can speak to both sides of this coin. I have some male acquaintances too and I have had a great deal of trouble justifying to myself meeting them. This stems from my being on the other side and having to deal with my rather difficult feelings if I found out my boyfriend is 'guilty' of doing this. Yes, it bothers me. So, I make every effort to behave in the fashion I expect of him behaving. I think then you need to yourself use the same litmus test. Does this then become a situation you would expect your boyfriend to avoid?

I will point out an additional factor in this and that is that this is meeting this friend for a meal. I know others will find this silly but for me it is far more questionable than having a simple quick coffee.

Whatever you choose to do, absolutely avoid keeping it secret. On those occasions that I do meet with an old friend I am up front with it. I will tell my boyfriend before hand making sure to put the relationship in perspective and why the meeting is happening in the first place.

But when it comes down to it, you must choose your actions based on those you expect of your boyfriend.

I have exclusively male friends myself right now, so to me it doesn't seem like a big deal if I had a bf and a male friend wanted to go out for lunch. I feel like he should trust me enough to do so if the relationship will ever work. If he can't trust me being around other men, it's doomed.

That said, I would definitely NOT hide it. If you hide it then it does make it look like you're trying to hide something more. Just be upfront that you'd like to go out with a friend for lunch.

I'm not sure how I feel if it were the other way around, a bf going to meet a female friend. The same should still hold true, I should be able to trust him if the relationship will ever work out. I have a pretty big fear of abandonment though so I think emotionally I might have a hard time with it, but I try my best to be logical and fair so I would still let him go and if he did cheat then I guess I find out the hard way that he's not the guy for me.

It would hurt if he cheated, but it would be better to find out now that he is a cheater rather than, say, five or ten years from now.

whatever you decide, I think hiding it is out of the question. that in and of itself is a form of deceit and would lead to him thinking and wondering what you have to hide if there's nothing going on? Do you see how this can lead to problems?

in and of itself, a male + female friendship is perfectly ok but at the same time there's no denying the potential issues it can cause. I think that for any friend I feel is close enough to me to go to lunch with is also a close enough and important enough friend that my mate should probably be friends with to at least on an acquainted level. That helps to dismiss any ideas of a hidden relationship going on and would make it so there's nothing left in the dark.

Bring your BF along?

I don't know why this is such a big issue. Is he really jealous? Is your relation ambiguous? Does he have feelings for you? Did you have feelings for him?