[robfordeh]

Hello everyone.

I have been suffering with an awful form of " guilt " I had a Girl friend 3 years back she left me for another guy, I started seeing my present girl, my ex is back and we have being making out nearly every day, at her place... My girl is not aware. she is out of town for study tour..I feel really low after I speak to her and feel guilty as I know she really care and loves me...and is not cheating how can I over come this... I feel like running away..at the same time I am not able to say a No to my ex... I know I need help...

Guilty Guy..

[Skeezyks]

Hello robfordeh: I see this is your first post here on PC. So... welcome to PsychCentral! I hope you find PC to be of benefit.

I'm sorry I don't know what to tell you about this. There's an old song (back from probably the 1960's or 70's) by a group called The Lovin' Spoonful titled: "Did You Ever Have to Make Up Your Mind". Here's a link to it on YouTube. (Perhaps it will provide you with some "comic relief", as they say):

I realize, of course, this is a serious concern for you. The one thing I can tell you is that this situation is not likely to get any easier (unless one of these ladies unexpectedly dumps you.) That would actually, perhaps, be the best scenario here. It's not right to keep doing what you're doing. (You know that.) So, one way or another, you simply have to make up your mind. And if you can't, maybe the "fallback position" is that you end your relationships with both & spend some time trying to figure out how it is you got into this situation to begin with & what you really want out of a romantic relationship. Seeing a counselor or therapist in that regard may be of some help.

Here are links to 2 articles, from PsychCentral's archives, on the subject of how to make up your mind:

https://www.bing.com/search?q=how%20...om&FORM=QBDCRD

https://psychcentral.com/blog/do-you...ing-decisions/

I wish you well...

[eskielover]

It's called moral character strength. Decide which girl you really want because having BOTH is not an option. Make that choice & break it off with the one yiu choose not to be with.

If you don't & they find out, you will probably end up with neither. Cheating is never acceptable when you have committed to being with one person (I am not refering to marriage but an exclusive relationship.)

I would spend less time feeling guilty & more tkme defining my moral values.

[Shazerac]

Well you need to make a decision. Cheating on your girlfriend and then feeling guilty but continuing the behavior is using guilt to let yourself off the hook. Maybe that sounds harsh, but there it is.

Furthermore (I love that word) making out with an old girlfriend that dumped you for another man is self destructive behavior. Nothing good is going to come from this.

[robfordeh]

Hi All,

I have started online therapy and also being reading some off the articles you all have shared, I will not say I am feeling awfully guilty, yes but now I do feel a lil better...