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#1
May 02, 2018, 01:27 AM
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I've been communicating with a man on skype. I met him online via okcupid. He is 8 years younger and single. He works in my neighborhood. I sent him some sexy photos and he wants to meet. However, he may just want sex so I'm going to think about it before meeting him. I have not had sex with anybody since last year. I like this man so far. He does not say anything vulgar to me or anything sexual. He says he wants to meet this week and is going to meet me. I will just talk to him first by having lunch or dinner with him and see if we like each other. He and I started talking last year but have never met. He was busy and so was I. Now, we discovered he works where I live. I am excited but none of my past relationships with Japanese men have worked because they either want sex only or they are too far from me. I am not Japanese. I like Japanese men for some reason. I hope this time it works out and we get along besides just sex. I will be patient and see what happens.
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 MickeyCheeky, RainyDay107, Turtle_Rider
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 mote.of.soul, RainyDay107
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#2
May 02, 2018, 08:01 AM
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What to you mean by you sent him sexy pics?
I have done a lot of online dating and I have found that the exchanging of pics, beyond just to see what each other looks like is a red flag that it's just hook up. Perhaps a long-term hookup, but the guy isn't interested in anything long term. What have your conversations been like? Do you talk about your interests and what you have in common? Can you refrain from having sex with him until you've been on a few dates? Seesaw
__________________
 What if I fall? Oh, my dear, but what if you fly? Primary Dx: C-PTSD and Severe Chronic Treatment Resistant Major Depressive Disorder Secondary Dx: Generalized Anxiety Disorder with mild Agoraphobia. Meds I've tried: Prozac, Zoloft, Celexa, Effexor, Remeron, Elavil, Wellbutrin, Risperidone, Abilify, Prazosin, Paxil, Trazadone, Tramadol, Topomax, Xanax, Propranolol, Valium, Visteril, Vraylar, Selinor, Clonopin, Ambien Treatments I've done: CBT, DBT, Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation (TMS), Talk therapy, psychotherapy, exercise, diet, sleeping more, sleeping less... |
| graystreet
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#3
May 02, 2018, 09:21 AM
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Maybe it’s just me. But I think you should find out if you get along BEFORE you have sex. If a guy wants sex with you right away that’s a pretty good indicator that that is ALL they want.
__________________
 Eat a live frog for breakfast every morning and nothing worse can happen to you that day! "Ask yourself whether the dream of heaven and greatness should be left waiting for us in our graves - or whether it should be ours here and now and on this earth.” Ayn Rand, Atlas Shrugged Bipolar type 2 rapid cycling DX 2013 - Seroquel 100 Celexa 20 mg Xanax .5 mg prn Modafanil 100 mg 
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| graystreet, lady411, s4ndm4n2006
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#4
May 02, 2018, 11:13 AM
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hopefully he doesn't just want to have sex right away but I fear that your sending "sexy" pics may have given him the wrong impression. if you want to appeal to a guy's intellect, talk to him and meet first. if you want to avoid causing him to think sexually refrain from sexual talk and especially sexy pics.
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| Shazerac
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#5
May 02, 2018, 11:15 AM
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Quote:
 good post.
__________________
Eat a live frog for breakfast every morning and nothing worse can happen to you that day! "Ask yourself whether the dream of heaven and greatness should be left waiting for us in our graves - or whether it should be ours here and now and on this earth.” Ayn Rand, Atlas Shrugged Bipolar type 2 rapid cycling DX 2013 - Seroquel 100 Celexa 20 mg Xanax .5 mg prn Modafanil 100 mg
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| s4ndm4n2006
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#6
May 02, 2018, 12:07 PM
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Try to see how it works out
 If it doesn't work, I'd avoid sending sexy pics next time.
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#7
May 02, 2018, 05:13 PM
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I recently sent him some sexy pics in underwear. We've been talking for over a year. Initially, I could not meet him since I was too far and his mother just died. And, we have continued saying hello until just last month. We realized he is working where I live and decided to meet for real. He is really nice. I will refrain from talking about sex and offering him to go to my apartment until we know each other well. If we get along well and he accepts my illness too, then we can become intimate. I am not sure he will accept my illness and if he does not, then I will let him go or vice versa. I will meet him a few times and see what happens.
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| mote.of.soul
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#8
May 02, 2018, 10:03 PM
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I hope you are initially meeting in a public place and have safety net measures just in case you need to bail.
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| mote.of.soul
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#9
May 03, 2018, 03:08 AM
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Yes, we are meeting at the train station where there is nothing but people.
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| healingme4me
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#10
May 05, 2018, 07:43 AM
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He is a really nice man. I like him much. He is a gentleman. He is really sweet! I hope he likes me too. It is hard to gauge Japanese people though. They usually don't say how they feel. I think time will tell. He paid for everything and was talkative. He took me places and held my hand. I am head over heels for him. But, I won't know for sure he is about me until he tells me or contacts me again. I will wait patiently.
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| MickeyCheeky
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#11
May 05, 2018, 08:41 AM
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Also, the good thing about him is that he and I don't drink nor smoke. We are both single without kids. We have other things in common too. I am happy!
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| mote.of.soul
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#12
May 05, 2018, 10:04 AM
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So, my date lasted over 10 hours and we talked a lot until the morning. I told him about my illness. He seemed concerned. He does not have any illnesses. I told him he is lucky and blessed. I don't know if he likes me as much as I like him. I wanted to be upfront to him about myself and told him the truth about my illness and my nutty family. He was sympathetic and concerned. I don't know about him but I feel I was overwhelming. Thus, if he does not want to see me anymore, I will understand. He has a good job and is stable mentally and emotionally. He has never been married though and is in his 40's. He told me that Japanese females want really high-earners as husbands and he said they have to make over six figures in dollars to be attractive to Japanese females. I was not that surprised because most Japanese women don't work after they marry and have kids. Also, Japanese females worry which universities men have graduated from and what kind of families they are from. He is from a very poor family and also his university is not top notch. But, he has a good job now but this is not good enough for some women, I guess. I was happy that he is nice and stable. His job is important too which is the reason he was able to pay for all of the meals. He was not cheap and allowed me to choose whatever I wanted. We ate three meals together at restaurants. I wanted to pay but he insisted on paying. Now, I have to think of ways to pay him back with kindness. He wanted to stay with me longer but had left his laundry outside at his house before he left. I am happy he had a good time with me. I hope to see him again soon. We will continue talking on social media. However, if it does not work out, I will remember him with fondness.
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| unaluna
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#13
May 05, 2018, 10:20 AM
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Quote:
I hope it goes well. Please be careful. You do not owe him anything for paying. He insisted upon paying. It's a gift. Gifts are not to be paid back. I am concerned that perhaps he is the kind to "love-bomb" you. Or maybe he had a day free so he distracted himself with you, but may not be available otherwise? So it will only be when it's convenient for him? I'm just raising some points to watch out for. Not saying this is what it is, just want you to be careful and consider these things as you proceed so you stay safe. Seesaw
__________________
What if I fall? Oh, my dear, but what if you fly? Primary Dx: C-PTSD and Severe Chronic Treatment Resistant Major Depressive Disorder Secondary Dx: Generalized Anxiety Disorder with mild Agoraphobia. Meds I've tried: Prozac, Zoloft, Celexa, Effexor, Remeron, Elavil, Wellbutrin, Risperidone, Abilify, Prazosin, Paxil, Trazadone, Tramadol, Topomax, Xanax, Propranolol, Valium, Visteril, Vraylar, Selinor, Clonopin, Ambien Treatments I've done: CBT, DBT, Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation (TMS), Talk therapy, psychotherapy, exercise, diet, sleeping more, sleeping less... |
| bpforever1, graystreet
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#14
May 05, 2018, 08:48 PM
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Thanks, seesaw. I am not sure it will work out but am hoping for the best. You may be right that he had a free day and was just frittering it away with me. In any case, I will just wait. He works 12 hour shifts every weekday. On the weekend, he is free. I'm not sure how he feels about me. I won't put too much stock in him for now.
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#15
May 05, 2018, 09:48 PM
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He is chatting with me still. He is nice still and very understanding. I was really mad at my family for not talking with me; he intervened and started chatting with me. So far, so good.
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#16
May 05, 2018, 09:54 PM
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Quote:
__________________
What if I fall? Oh, my dear, but what if you fly? Primary Dx: C-PTSD and Severe Chronic Treatment Resistant Major Depressive Disorder Secondary Dx: Generalized Anxiety Disorder with mild Agoraphobia. Meds I've tried: Prozac, Zoloft, Celexa, Effexor, Remeron, Elavil, Wellbutrin, Risperidone, Abilify, Prazosin, Paxil, Trazadone, Tramadol, Topomax, Xanax, Propranolol, Valium, Visteril, Vraylar, Selinor, Clonopin, Ambien Treatments I've done: CBT, DBT, Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation (TMS), Talk therapy, psychotherapy, exercise, diet, sleeping more, sleeping less... |
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#17
May 05, 2018, 10:47 PM
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Quote:
I wouldn't personally worry about how to repay for meals. It's just food. |
| bpforever1
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#18
May 06, 2018, 09:55 AM
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Quote:
__________________
What if I fall? Oh, my dear, but what if you fly? Primary Dx: C-PTSD and Severe Chronic Treatment Resistant Major Depressive Disorder Secondary Dx: Generalized Anxiety Disorder with mild Agoraphobia. Meds I've tried: Prozac, Zoloft, Celexa, Effexor, Remeron, Elavil, Wellbutrin, Risperidone, Abilify, Prazosin, Paxil, Trazadone, Tramadol, Topomax, Xanax, Propranolol, Valium, Visteril, Vraylar, Selinor, Clonopin, Ambien Treatments I've done: CBT, DBT, Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation (TMS), Talk therapy, psychotherapy, exercise, diet, sleeping more, sleeping less... |
| bpforever1, healingme4me
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#19
May 07, 2018, 08:51 AM
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We chatted again tonight!! He is still concerned about my health because of my illness. He is really sweet! I told him as long as I take my medication that I am ok for now. He seemed genuinely worried about my health. Hmmm, I feel touched by his concern but don't want him to worry too much about it. We may meet this weekend again. I am not sure yet because it depends on my work schedule. We shall see.
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#20
May 08, 2018, 03:16 AM
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He is happy I'm receiving interviews for jobs. He is very supportive! I am happy with him. Hmmm, after all the men I dated and met, he has been so far the most decent. We might meet this weekend but am not sure yet. We shall see.
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#21
May 08, 2018, 03:19 AM
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He sounds like a great guy! Happy for you.
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| bpforever1
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| bpforever1
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#22
May 10, 2018, 06:44 PM
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He is coming over this Sunday again. I thought I would make him breakfast with pancakes, eggs, and sausages. I asked him if he would like breakfast and am waiting for his response. We chat daily. He works daily on the weekdays. He is doing well. I am happy for him. I really like him and am happy to have met him. He is a good man. I hope we turn into a couple. Only time will tell.
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| seesaw
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| healingme4me, seesaw
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#23
May 12, 2018, 12:46 AM
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He said he would come over for breakfast for Sunday. He said he is tired from working all week and would sleep today which is Saturday. I am happy!
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| healingme4me
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#24
May 13, 2018, 05:29 AM
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Today did not start out great but ended well. He was about 1.5 hours late. At first, I told him if he did not want breakfast, then he did not have to eat it. Then, I realized the last time we met he was also 30 minutes late but 1.5 hours late is a stretch for me.However, we communicated and I forgave him and he came. He was happy and ate whatever I cooked. I made him pancakes, sausages, fried eggs, salad, and coffee. He ate more than I thought. He seemed touched that I cooked for him. I don't know the reason for this. He and I talked and hugged etc. So, we had a good time. He went home earlier than last time because it is raining here and he needs to get up early tomorrow for work, so do I. He also wants to meet my dad who is coming next week but truthfully this is only the second time we met, and I'm still trying to get to know him well. My father will be shocked I found someone who is decent and nice. He won't believe me until he meets this new man. I am happy but don't want to rush things although we are not young. I really like him and believe we will make it as a couple.
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| mote.of.soul
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#25
May 13, 2018, 01:08 PM
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Remember in Japanese culture it's,rude to leave food on your plate. Just so you don't feed the poor guy til he pops. :-D
__________________
I Don't Care What You Think Of Me...I Don't Think Of You At All.CoCo Chanel. |
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