Letting my mother go

I'm working on letting go of an emotionally unavailable mother. The other day, I was posting something about her on another forum and realized the tone of my message was quite bitter. As much as I have already worked on my issues, I realized I'm still holding onto some anger when it comes to my mother - and that I don't want to remain a bitter person forever.

I have always seen my mother as the more sane one out of my parents, and somehow this has made me think she should have done better, she should have seen how dangerous my father was and taken me away from him. No, she's not as messed up as he is, but she's still a very wounded person. This may sound harsh, but I feel I need to start seeing her as someone who is ill.

This hurts me so much because it means I'm somehow going to have to find a way to accept the fact that I won't ever have the kind of mother I needed. That that empty space will most likely always remain. But my instinct is telling me that in the long run, accepting even these most difficult truths will set me free. It means I don't have to direct my energy into trying to change what I cannot change anymore.

It is liberating to recognize that our parents are fallible human beings.

Sending you hugs! I am myself trying to understand how to let go of her.