[just beachy]

Where to begin. Married for 22 years. knew wife suffered from anxiety when we got married. (Naive about the level and ignorant about condition) We have a great kid. I am at my wits end. Life has been a roller coaster for 22 years, great highs and terrible lows. Over time the highs have gotten lower and the lows are reaching new lows. No infidelity. We have worked together for most of the last 24 years...same organization.
I have to admit that there have been a lot of times when I was less than understanding and even angry about the way things were/are. There are often a lot of times that I have carried my load and hers. Everyone at work thinks that she is the best ever at our job (I'm good but she is next level) but they don't see that behind her achievements I am the one holding things together...especially at home. Example, we both went through grad school together with a small child and full time jobs. Want to guess who held things together while she "had to focus on her schoolwork"? We finished #1 and #2 in our class. I feel like my name should be "would you?" or "could you?" (If the answer to one of these questions is no...there will be problems.
This summer was going great and then we had a stupid argument over going shopping. I did not want to go. She had a meltdown and just lay on the bed half dressed crying for over an hour. I tried to talk to her and then I finally just had to leave for a little while. Since then, the last five weeks she has made life really hard. MY inside joke to myself is that I just wish I had gone shopping that day.
She is a good decent person and does not want to be this way. She sees a doctor, a therapist, and takes her meds and is definitely focused on getting better...but I don't see it and I am really tired. Our kid goes to college in a year and I am not looking forward to this empty nest.

[healingme4me]

Just wanted to welcome you to PC.

Sounds like a major disconnect between the two of you. Has she ever told you that she appreciates your being there through all things? Based upon a second post/different thread you mentioned feeling like you are talking to yourself (inside your marriage, I presume?).

Hopefully, other members have some insight as far as this stage of your marriage?

[Skeezyks]

Hello beachy: I noticed this is your first posted thread here on PC. So... welcome to PsychCentral! I hope you find PC to be of benefit.

I see you posted this in the relationships forum. One other forum, here on PC, that may be of particular interest would be the partners of people & caregivers forum. Here's a link:

https://forums.psychcentral.com/part...ivers-support/

Here are links to a few articles, from PsychCentral's archives, on the subject of caring for yourself when you're the caregiver & other self-care topics that may be of interest plus 2 articles on the topic of becoming empty nesters:

Caring for Yourself When You're a Caregiver | Weightless

Practicing Self-Care During Stressful Times

Filling the Well When You Feel Depleted

Working Through Your Emotions with Your Hands | Weightless

https://psychcentral.com/blog/how-to...nful-emotions/

https://psychcentral.com/blog/using-...o-reclaim-joy/

https://psychcentral.com/lib/the-emp...ity-or-crisis/

https://psychcentral.com/blog/how-do...st-depression/

My best wishes to you & your family...

[Bill3]

I’m sorry that things have been and are so difficult. What sort of support do you have? Do you/might you see a therapist also?

It sounds like she is still making you pay for saying no to her. How often do you say no to her, and what have been the consequences in the past?

Are you aware of the concept of codependency? If not, I think it would be good to look into that.

I'm sorry things are so difficult for you, beachy

[MickeyCheeky]

I think you shoudl probably discuss this with her.. although it's not her fault, I think it's important you let her know this situation is being stressful to you. You matter, as well