Omg... I feel like such a horrible friend right now.

I have a close friend who cannot work due to physical limitations and who is applying for disability. She is losing all of her precious belongings that are currently in storage, and when we were on the phone, I didn't offer to give her money to save her belongings.... I should have.

So I texted her after we hung up, telling her I feel horrible and asked if I can give her any money that will help. But I believe she needs several hundred dollars, and I cannot afford that.

She was supposed to move her belongings out of storage but she couldn't physically accomplish it in time. I had offered to help her before, but she had said no, it's OK, she'll do it herself. So now they have locked up her unit because she couldn't pay to keep it open and she couldn't get her stuff out in time.

And here I was today, talking about buying a new car, something I badly need because mine has mold & I could get sick from it..... and she is losing everything important to her.

So, I offered her $200 just now, which is all I can afford. But man, I wish I had stepped in previously. I should have pushed to help move her belongings because she couldn't. But she also needed to go through everything herself.

I feel very selfish. I've been too deeply absorbed in my own life, and now she's losing everything that belongs to her, on top of not being able to live a fully functional life. I feel like a horrible friend. =(

[MickeyCheeky]

Please don't say these those things. You're kind and generous. 200$ is a lot of money and I find it wonderful that you've decided to give them to her. But even if you don't, being supportive and ready to hear what she has to say is more than enough, and I'm sure you're doing that. You're a good friend.

Originally Posted by MickeyCheeky

Please don't say these those things. You're kind and generous. 200$ is a lot of money and I find it wonderful that you've decided to give them to her. But even if you don't, being supportive and ready to hear what she has to say is more than enough, and I'm sure you're doing that. You're a good friend.

Aw, THANKS Mickey!! 👍😊

[Talthybius]

My view on friendship is that it isn't about giving money. She probably doesn't want your friendship to be about money. If you give her money, it might be a burden on her.

And in the end you still offered money. I think it is fine to not offer money as long as you offer friendship and support. Of course, there can be special circumstances. Maybe this was one. Maybe not. But I don't see why giving or not giving money should damage a friendship.

[ShadowGX]

$200 is a lot of money for sure. The fact that you offered it at all puts you well ahead of most people, to be totally honest. She's very fortunate to have a friend like you so willing to help her.

Thank you for your supportive thoughts! This helps.

[divine1966]

We can only help others that much. Most people don’t extend financial help outside of family. It’s kind of you to offer her money but even if you didn’t, I wouldn’t feel bad. You also offered to help her move her stuff so that’s very nice. Does she have any family?

You sound like a good friend, golden eve, not everyone would stick around the minute they knew a friend was having problems

Originally Posted by divine1966

We can only help others that much. Most people don’t extend financial help outside of family. It’s kind of you to offer her money but even if you didn’t, I wouldn’t feel bad. You also offered to help her move her stuff so that’s very nice. Does she have any family?

She has family but they’re not supportive at all. It’s a terrible situation. And thanks for your kind words.

Originally Posted by whispershadow

You sound like a good friend, golden eve, not everyone would stick around the minute they knew a friend was having problems

Thanks so much!

I definitely wouldn’t just bail the moment a friend is having problems. That’s not true friendship.