[toughbird]

Hi All

Here is a link of my full story of my relationship with me and my ex.

https://forums.psychcentral.com/rela...returning.html

Since I returned back to my old job. My team suspect I and my ex were/are in a relationship. I and my ex work in the same team. But my management has ensured that we don't work closely together anymore.

Since I and my ex split up. I got on with my life. Didn't contact him anymore. The space that we had had worked wonders between us. To the point, he contacted me to iniate meeting up and going out for a drink and meal.

After one month of seeing him often. My feelings for him started to come back.

When we met up after work. He informed me he wants us to get back together. He feels we are on better terms. He thanked me for giving him space and time. He informed he wants us to go back to meeting up, dating and hanging out. However, he doesn't want to ever move in with me.

He said, he thinks my attitude towards things has matured greatly. I am a lot more patient hence giving him space and time - I guess this was one aspect of the relationship he didn't like - shame it took to tell me after we split up.

I informed I was happy that the space and time has helped him greatly. However, if we were to get back together. I don't want a casual relationship as I do want him to move in with me. I want the relationship to progress. I don't want to invest my time into something for it not to progress.

I'm happy that my ways has improved to the point where he feels a relationship can happen. However, he needs to work on his issues and show commitment towards the relationship.

He confirmed he knows I won't back down on the idea on him moving in together. I told him either he faces his commitment issues and deals with it - then the relationship won't work. I'm happy to give him space and time. I reasured that I'm not in it for the short term. He thanked me for that.

He said - he will need a lot of space and time to face this.

So I've backed off and got on with my life. I do check in with him from time to time. He tells me he has been thinking about it but continues on wanting his space. I try to encourage him to talk about how he is feeling. However, he runs away.

Do you think this relationship can work? Or do I cut my losses and go? Do I continue on with my life via giving him space?

Cut your losses and move on with your life. The guy is dragging his heels and stated, even after a break, that he doesn't want to move in together. Why wait around for someone who cannot take the next step and who doesn't want more of a commitment? You cannot change someone or bend them to your wishes.

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by toughbird

Do you think this relationship can work? Or do I cut my losses and go? Do I continue on with my life via giving him space?

you are the one that has to live with the decisions, we are not you so we can only make "assumptions" based on what you post.

example ...

I could say stay.... but for you and your life would that be the right thing for....you ........to do

I could say leave but again for .............you and your life..............would that be the right thing to do...

I live in america so that tells me that everyone must be free to make their own decisions. its not up to me to tell others how to live their lives and what they should or should not do......

only you can decide that based upon your own feelings and what you want to do....

Unless of course you were a minor or in a culture where your job, relationships and so on are up to the decisions of your culture or your parents...

but over all my suggestion is to take time to

sit down and decide what...........you...........want to do
decide what your own culture or religion dictates what and how you do things
decide what your own feelings are about this problem.

we can not make decisions for you because we are not you, we are not in your body going through your situation first hand. all we can do is make "assumptions" "guesses" based on what and how much you have decided to post.

[divine1966]

You can’t make people to want something if they don’t. If he doesn’t want to take it up to a new level then there is nothing you candi. How long you two have been dating?