[retro_chic]

So I seem to have become preoccupied with the thought that everyone hates me. I don't even know why this started to be honest. I considered my work colleagues to be friends/acquaintance but have noticed a couple of occasions when some of them have hung out on the weekend and not invited me. I asked why I wasn't invited and was told "we spoke about the outing a couple of weeks ago". I wasn't reminded about it or directly asked if I wanted to come so it seems they didn't want me to be there.

I always felt excluded and unpopular in high school so I guess this brought back those feelings. I get jealous when I think someone likes other people more than me and I know that is ridiculous. I have one close friend outside of work and the three others that I have have moved to another state. I am convinced I am unlikeable so I don't see the point in trying to make new friends. I think I am boring, annoying, unattractive etc. so I don't see the point in trying to date either. I am almost 27 and I have only been a two month relationship because I am too afraid of getting close to someone. I have now become so used to being alone I am scared to change.

Not sure what I am asking for here, just needed to vent.

[MickeyCheeky]

I'm really sorry to hear this. I have your same struggles. It seems like your problems come mostly from self-esteem issues... are you seeing a therapist?

[mwake]

I get this too and second about self esteem issues.... We are just organic computers, if we are programmed to dislike ourselves then that is what will happen.

[unaluna]

Originally Posted by mwake

I get this too and second about self esteem issues.... We are just organic computers, if we are programmed to dislike ourselves then that is what will happen.

Interesting way of putting it. In the olden days, they said, "as the twig is bent, so grows the tree."

[mote.of.soul]

Hi retro_chic. Try not to lose hope, please; 'where there's a will there's a way'. I think it's good that you have the self honesty, the self awareness enough to assess your situation. And I think if you really do want things to change, then, whatever way you look at it, it's good to try to push through your inner fears. Just wanted to encourage you to keep looking for solutions and thanks for sharing.