[deflatedballoon]

So a guy I was good friends with throughout university (we never dated) all of a sudden stopped communicating with me. We both applied to the same graduate program after uni. The first year we both got rejected. The second time he was accepted (along with a group of others) and I was once again rejected. There were no hard feelings, I congratulated him and was happy for him.

After he got into the program however, he randomly cut off all connection with me. I persisted reaching out to him for a while but got tired of the one way relationship so I stopped making an effort. Sure enough he made no attempt to connect and over time we stopped talking (in real life, and on social media). We both worked hard at uni (I was dux) and volunteered together. He knows I'd be happy for his achievement and I have never once said anything otherwise. I can't understand why he no longer wants anything to do with me.

I noticed the other day he untagged himself from a photo of us together on facebook (and he was the one that requested to be tagged in the photo in the first place!). I have done absolutely nothing to him. And the saddest part; after I was rejected I was obviously having a hard time and he never once asked me if I was doing okay.

I honestly have NO idea what would have triggered this behaviour but it seems like he's embarrassed he ever knew me and wants to pretend I never existed.

Any idea why he would act like this? I'm very disappointed and upset.

[MickeyCheeky]

I agree it's hard to interpret. I was going to say that perhaps he's just very busy now, but I don't think it makes sense given what you wrote. I'm sorry Some people can act this way.

[Bill3]

What if you ask him?

[falsememory7]

That is so strange, considering how good of friends you two were. I wish it were as easy as asking him, but it seems like he's not willing to respond at the moment. I don't know why he's doing what he's doing, but maybe he'll reach out to you when he's ready. It's not very comforting to hear. I wish I knew.

[SorryShaped]

Most people I'm friends with drop off like that. I never know why. I'm sorry you have to hurt and wonder why too

[s4ndm4n2006]

There is no way to know why and I wouldn't worry about it too much. What it does say to you is that your friendship wasn't important enough for him to keep putting energy into it, therefore there is no reason for you to put any more energy into worrying about why.

keep in mind if you're a female and he's a male, he may have met someone romantically and could have had to cut off ties with other females for this reason. Not that it's right or a good thing but some people are quite jealous of past and current relationships and are inherently suspicious of their so being in relationships with the opposite sex at all. That would explain the untagging of himself and the non communication in this context. It's not an answer but a possible reason. But it could really be any number of things from him being just not as much of a nice guy as you thought to what I just mentioned.

[WishfulThinker66]

I have another take on things. He has entered a professional phase of his life. I think it then likely that he is trying to clean-up his social media presence to reflect a more professional image. This is quite common and explains things like the untagging of photos in particular. It also explains his being distant when it comes to online communication. What he is trying is to re-brand his image. I would not take this personally as what he is doing is both relevant and meaningful.

Again, as mentioned, perhaps asking him might clear this all up.

I think you have a new chapter in your book of life to move into. And he has a completely different chapter of life to move into. I don't think it's personal, but it feels personal. And it would feel personal to anyone in your position. His life has become filled with new places, experiences and people. And he seems to be embracing that. Your life has taken you on a different route, with different places, people and experiences. It's hurtful when relationships end, especially if it was never discussed, no goodbyes were said.

I had a friend whom I visited on a weekly basis for about two years. We talked about everything. She was having a hard time finding a job, so I helped her re-do her resume. She got a job within a few weeks with that new resume. We continued to visit, but much less, since she was working part time. Then one day she moved away from the neighbourhood and didn't even tell me she was leaving. So clearly, we weren't as close friends as I thought we were.

This is the nature of friendship. You will leave people behind. And you will be left behind. The "why?" will never be answered. Even if you ask them "why?" that doesn't mean you will get a desirable answer. So I wouldn't even ask that question, as you might not like the answer. I can tell you this: you will get new friends as you live through your next chapter in your book of life.

[Buffy01]

Originally Posted by deflatedballoon

So a guy I was good friends with throughout university (we never dated) all of a sudden stopped communicating with me. We both applied to the same graduate program after uni. The first year we both got rejected. The second time he was accepted (along with a group of others) and I was once again rejected. There were no hard feelings, I congratulated him and was happy for him.

After he got into the program however, he randomly cut off all connection with me. I persisted reaching out to him for a while but got tired of the one way relationship so I stopped making an effort. Sure enough he made no attempt to connect and over time we stopped talking (in real life, and on social media). We both worked hard at uni (I was dux) and volunteered together. He knows I'd be happy for his achievement and I have never once said anything otherwise. I can't understand why he no longer wants anything to do with me.

I noticed the other day he untagged himself from a photo of us together on facebook (and he was the one that requested to be tagged in the photo in the first place!). I have done absolutely nothing to him. And the saddest part; after I was rejected I was obviously having a hard time and he never once asked me if I was doing okay.

I honestly have NO idea what would have triggered this behaviour but it seems like he's embarrassed he ever knew me and wants to pretend I never existed.

Any idea why he would act like this? I'm very disappointed and upset.

I'm sorry that this has happened to you. It his problem not your problem. It not your fault.

[Buffy01]

Originally Posted by MickeyCheeky

I agree it's hard to interpret. I was going to say that perhaps he's just very busy now, but I don't think it makes sense given what you wrote. I'm sorry Some people can act this way.

It possible! People sometimes change for the worse

[Buffy01]

Originally Posted by falsememory7

That is so strange, considering how good of friends you two were. I wish it were as easy as asking him, but it seems like he's not willing to respond at the moment. I don't know why he's doing what he's doing, but maybe he'll reach out to you when he's ready. It's not very comforting to hear. I wish I knew.

It sound like he just ghosted her.