[ZenZeta]

I'm Codependent and I know it, so people pleasing and not standing up for myself can be an issue.

So I have this coworker with whom I already have a ... challenging relationship. A couple months ago, she embarked on a major project and I TRIED to work with her to contribute my skills, but she continued to criticize my work and make unrealistic demands on my time. She would get upset that I had to do the work I was PAID to do first and then nitpick every detail of my efforts when I was able to get her project tasks done. I decided that this was not a good relationship, and informed her that I would no longer be able to work on that project with her.

It appears that in the meantime, she has taken credit for the work but is unable to continue it (not her skill set) to which I have responded "I'm so sorry, but I have WORK projects that take priority"

So... yesterday another coworker brought by some flyers for work he does outside the office and Ms. Mouth of the South immediately says to him "This flyer needs work. ZenZeta can make you a really nice one." I was like

She then pulls up the work (that she criticized) that I did for her and says "ZenZeta can do this really quickly. " She told the poor guy that his flyer was unprofessional and that he should change it immediately, and that I would help him.

The whole time I'm thinking..., how did I even get into this conversation???

So here's the deal. I have a MAJOR work project that I need to get done and I can't do any side work until my work stuff is done.

Our coworker was so excited about getting a new flyer, and I feel bad going back to him and saying I can't do it.

I'm really upset. Why did she throw me under the bus like that? Now I'm going to look like the bad guy if I don't do it, and I'm upset that I'm going to have to take a weekend to fulfill a promise I didn't even make. SOOOOOO irritated right now!!!

[Bill3]

You are not going to have to take a weekend to make something for the co-worker.

"I'm sorry, I can't do it."

Repeat this mantra as often as needed.

"I'm sorry, I can't do it."

"I'm sorry, I can't do it."

"I'm sorry, I can't do it."

"I'm sorry, I can't do it."

You could also remind flyer co-worker that Mouth of the South is not your boss and that you are busy with work that your actual boss needs. Flyer co-worker can ask his boss for help. Or: flyer coworker can learn to do the work himself!

[unaluna]

These people are basically asking you to steal from the company for them, by providing your time and services to unapproved tasks. Or stealing from you.

The flyer guy should hand his flyer to get worked on at the front customer desk, just like anyone else.

[MickeyCheeky]

I'm afraid you're just going to have to say (politely) no. It's not your fault that this is happening and you didn't make any promises.

[healingme4me]

Say, I have another project right now, but maybe when I've completed that, I can take a look? Say, I don't have the executive authority to bump down this project for side work, right now?

[Fuzzybear]

grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr