Sometimes, you don't have a choice to avoid someone completely because she is a family member, a co-worker, or a neighbor, with mutual long-time friends.

There is a toxic person in my life whom I distanced myself from because of pushing and crossing of boundaries; taking advantage by lying, exaggeration, or excessive asking of favors; emotional manipulation and mind games.

She is in a real difficult situation right now (I wish I didn't have to know but have no choice being in the same circle) and I feel bad for her. But I know helping her means placing myself in an unhealthy and relationally-unsafe situation again.

Even re-opening the door to her just to help her one time, is a tremedous risk for me.

How do I overcome the guilt of not stepping in to help but choosing to protect myself?

[MickeyCheeky]

I don't think you have an obligation to help others who have mistreated you. You could try to NOT say anything and let things take their course... I don't know what should you do if she specifically comes to you asking for help, though. :/ If she does that, it'd mean she's pretty desperate, so perhaps you might help in that case...

[Skeezyks]

Here are links to 5 articles, from PsychCentral's archives, that hopefully may be of some help with putting the situation you describe into perspective:

What's a Toxic Person & How Do You Deal With One?

Toxic People: You Don't Need Permission to Walk Away

5 Ways to Maintain Boundaries with Difficult People

8 Ways to Detoxify Toxic People | Childhood Emotional Neglect

How to Prioritize Your Needs, Set Boundaries, and Take Care of Yourself without Feeling Guilty – Happily Imperfect

[eskielover]

Let the others in the circle help her if they feel it is the right thing to do.

I have a couple of people who I just don't get close to. I listen to what they say & feel compassion as far as empathizing.....but that is far as it goes.

Originally Posted by eskielover

Let the others in the circle help her if they feel it is the right thing to do.

I have a couple of people who I just don't get close to. I listen to what they say & feel compassion as far as empathizing.....but that is far as it goes.

Thank you, I agree. Someone told me not to worry about her even if her troubles are real this time. She said I don't need to worry about a manipulative person because such person will always manage to manipulate someone into helping her.

[Fuzzybear]

[s4ndm4n2006]

Originally Posted by MickeyCheeky

I don't think you have an obligation to help others who have mistreated you. You could try to NOT say anything and let things take their course... I don't know what should you do if she specifically comes to you asking for help, though. :/ If she does that, it'd mean she's pretty desperate, so perhaps you might help in that case...

Even in the case of them asking her I don't think she's obligated in any way if this person has abused her generosity in the past, to be honest, that fact is actually a good sound reason to give them without guilt, a "no" answer if they did ask.