"Fool me once and shame on you. Fool me twice and shame on me."

I have been fooled by a manipulative person in my life more than once. I know she has the tendency to exaggerate, omit information, and distort the story.

I have gotten suspicious of her motives over time, and can now distinguish her emails and texts as something insincere.

However, when it comes to phone or face-to-face conversation, I know in my head that she is deceptive yet I get swayed by the emotions because she acts so desperately, cries, and pressures me to help her (repeating the same question over and over). As much as I have been avoiding her, in an event she does approach me unexpectedly, how do I become an objective listener? How do I separate my mind from my heart and examine carefully what part of her story may not be legitimate?

[s4ndm4n2006]

Originally Posted by ennie

"Fool me once and shame on you. Fool me twice and shame on me."

I have been fooled by a manipulative person in my life more than once. I know she has the tendency to exaggerate, omit information, and distort the story.

I have gotten suspicious of her motives over time, and can now distinguish her emails and texts as something insincere.

However, when it comes to phone or face-to-face conversation, I know in my head that she is deceptive yet I get swayed by the emotions because she acts so desperately, cries, and pressures me to help her (repeating the same question over and over). As much as I have been avoiding her, in an event she does approach me unexpectedly, how do I become an objective listener? How do I separate my mind from my heart and examine carefully what part of her story may not be legitimate?

Separate yourself completely from the conversation. if you know how this person is, and how you typically have handled it and are easily swayed by the crocodile tears, then walk away. Pressures cannot exist if you do not open the door to the conversation or close it right when it starts. Be up front and honest if you possibly can be. truthfully perhaps that's what this person needs to hear that their actions of the past in manipulating others has caused this door to be shut.

[MickeyCheeky]

I agree. Even though it's difficult, if you simply can't put it nicely, you've just gotta tell her the truth. It's not easy, though... wish you good luck.

[lady411]

I agree with MickeyCheeky. I had a friend who was very similar to OP situation. She usually brought drama onto my life and she never asked how I was doing or about my life. It was always about her. She was my friend for many years so it was difficult to weed that toxic relationship out of my life but one day I finally told her that if she didn't have something positive to bring to my life that maybe it was better for her not to call or text me anymore.... I never heard from her again.

[WishfulThinker66]

Okay, so you have established she is a manipulator. I think you need to ask yourself what sort of role she has in your life and whether you can cut ties or at least distance yourself. If she in fact is someone that you must deal with regularly in your life you need to think about and establish the boundaries of how that is to be. You also need to consider what it will 'look' like when she has pushed you too far. What I mean is decide now what the limits are to your relationship and what you will do when they are reached and broken.