Why people sometimes tell a lie after they told the truth

Has anyone ever heard someone tell the truth upfront to you or to someone else, followed by a lie immediately afterwards? It doesn't make sense to me since they already told the truth so why try to cover it up. An example I have is that I once asked a friend how things were going one day while we were hanging out, no big deal. And she just happened to inform me that we could have hung out the day before as well but she just simply wanted to have the day to herself. No big deal. I like having days to myself too and I wasn't offended that she told me that.

In fact, I was glad she was open about it since that means she trusts me and knows I won't take offense to that, since some people out there would if they realized someone chose to be by themselves rather than hanging out wit them. But then what baffled me is the lie she told right after, almost as if she either was trying to cover the truth up after revealing it or something else. She said that even if we did hang out, we wouldn't have hung out until like four or five in the afternoon anyways so there was no point. The reason I know that was a lie is because every time we do hang out, it is always around four or five in the afternoon so it wouldn't have been any different.

Has anyone ever came across a baffling situation like this? What do you think is the reason for someone doing this? How did you deal with it? Once again, I was not offended that she told the truth. There is nothing wrong with having the day to yourself. I was just confused at why she told a lie after telling the truth. I've seen other people do similar stuff too where they tell the truth and then tell a lie afterwards, especially if it is a ridiculous one like the example I gave.

This was just an example, I've seen many people do this, not just her. And also I have seen it happen towards other people as well, not just towards me, and just never understood what the point of doing so was. Lying shouldn't take place in the first place, but I feel like if someone is going to lie, it is better to just simply lie than to tell the truth and then tell the lie afterwards. Just confuses me. Just wondered what you guys thought.

Did you ask them why there would be no point? If it baffled me, and this is just how I am, I would have brought it up at that time. If for example the same situation was presented to me, I'm sure I would have said something like "but we always hang out at that time so why would it not have been worth it that time?" would have cleared up a lot as they would be expected to elaborate.

Maybe you're leaving out more of the conversation here but is there any other evidence of outright lying that you can present? From what's here that's not the conclusion I come to per your description of the conversation.

Well that is why it may seem vague, I tend to let things go very easily since I don’t like confrontation or making people feel uncomfortable over something very small. Yeah I really wanted her to elaborate but didn’t ask so for that part of the conversation, that is all there was to it. I was just left feeling confused, same when I see other people doing the same kind of stuff. Why lie after you already told the truth. Next time I may just ask her or anyone else to just elaborate more in order to clear the air a bit more.

Well to be honest, I don't think that asking to elaborate would be in any way confrontational, it's just communication, you were unclear on a certain aspect of the conversation and wanted someone to clarify. not confrontational at all just a question. confrontational would have been straight up accusing them to their face of lying. I really think this is just a misunderstanding and lack of information.

Ah okay. I see. I just get confused at why some people may do something like that, makes it pointless to lie if the truth was already told. But in the example I gave, I can see what you mean.

It's such a gray area, isn't it? :\

I think there's tons of variables. Perhaps the person themself could fear confrontation? Could be unclear internally as to their own thoughts and opinions about whatever it is. Sometimes it's an ingrained, albeit not so healthy coping mechanism? Who really knows?

Had a pdoc tell me straight up one session, "People Lie!" Ain't that the truth?

I mean why is one of the A-Non(alanon or even AA) mantras...'Say What You Mean and Mean What You Say'? It is a rather universal phenomenon.

It's really very simple....... In essence, people lie because they believe that the truth won't get them what they need or want. It is a normal human trait.

Yeah I think the fear of confrontation is common among most people, even among those who claim they aren't afraid, I'm sure they actually are deep inside. No one likes confrontation.

Yeah that is true. I just don't see the point in lying if the truth was already told. Makes the lie pointless.

Maybe they didn't like what the truth is? It's really their inner world to sort through it. It doesn't need to make sense to you as you are trying to make a point of living in truth. Your truth is that this person will lie even when the truth is out. You didn't cause it. You didn't create it. You can't cure it.

Yeah I see what you mean.

heres a thought maybe there was something that she had planned to do that day that would have been too stressful on her to after doing what ever she did and then go back out and spend time with a friend would have been too much on her

there are many days where I have made plans then someone says hey lets hang out and... what ever and I have to say sorry but to do that we would have to get together after this time and to me theres no point in that. why because maybe I have already put in a full day of running around getting things done and by the time that we could have hung out it I wouldnt have been very good company.

one example that comes to mind is I work. I put in a full day at work and someone calls and say hey lets hang out tomorrow. and I look at my calendar and say no I cant do that tomorrow, then then tomorrow comes along, my treatment provider cancels, the school calls and says my children need a permission slip signed I run over to the school do the paperwork come home, do the laundry, vacuum the carpets, mop the floors and look at the time well I could go over to so and so's house for a bit but what kind of company would I be, Im tired, I have to walk to the school to pick up the children when classes get out, figure out whats for dinner. crap even if I went over at the time my friend wanted me to theres no point because I would have to turn around after only a few minutes to come home and get things self for tomorrow, tonights meal and so on and the way I am feeling right now theres no point of going over for just a few minutes of staring at their walls and falling asleep, beause I am so tired.

see what I mean. this person might not have been lying to you, they might have been looking at their day what they did, how they were feeling and what they still need to do for that day and get ready for the next day.

adult friendships are not like teen age friendships where most tell a lie to cover their behinds, most actually have reasons that they dont disclose to each other.

maybe you can ask this friend what they meant about what they told you and clarify what was going on.