I no longer help the person whom I used to, because of too many "bite the hand that feeds you" episodes.

But as a human being, I try to show basic consideration towards everyone, even if I can't go out of my way to help someone.

For example, I recently bumped into this person inside a building as she was lost trying to find her way to a function. I tried to help her out and informed her where it is. She disagreed with me suggesting that I don't know what I am talking about, and then I overheard her mocking me as she walked away.

Although I no longer do favors for her, when I see someone in need right in front of me, the natural thing to do is to look out for that person. Even a stranger helps you when you are lost.

But with this person any and every little kindness I show her, she uses that as an opportunity to bring me down. So would it be inconsiderate or inhuman of me to show her absolutely no kindness that I would normally show another human being and pretend like she doesn't exist?

[xiximmxi]

I wouldn't pour your energy into a colander trying to figure out what you can do.
Don't go out of your way for them, don't intentionally ignore them - just completely detach yourself from this person.

You can't control other's actions but you can control your reaction. Just stay true and do what makes you sleep better at night.

[s4ndm4n2006]

I don't know that I'd pretend she doesn't exist, but not going out of your way to help anymore, I can understand.

It sounds like being as she takes advantage of you so much, it's best that you stop being there for her every single time she needs anyone there, particularly as if I'm understanding this right, she never tries to help you

[Crazy Hitch]

I’d just completely ignore her to be honest and go about your own business as if she’s not even there

I think you should protect yourself. You are not being unkind to this woman by not going out of your way to help her. You are being kind to yourself and protecting yourself from someone who is harmful to you. The Dalai Lama (or someone) said something like "be kind to everyone. if you can't, then at least don't harm them." What you're doing is just not engaging with her. You aren't harming her by doing that. Just because you're not outwardly kind to her doesn't make you an unkind person!

[katydid777]

Originally Posted by ennie

I no longer help the person whom I used to, because of too many "bite the hand that feeds you" episodes.

But as a human being, I try to show basic consideration towards everyone, even if I can't go out of my way to help someone.

For example, I recently bumped into this person inside a building as she was lost trying to find her way to a function. I tried to help her out and informed her where it is. She disagreed with me suggesting that I don't know what I am talking about, and then I overheard her mocking me as she walked away.

Although I no longer do favors for her, when I see someone in need right in front of me, the natural thing to do is to look out for that person. Even a stranger helps you when you are lost.

But with this person any and every little kindness I show her, she uses that as an opportunity to bring me down. So would it be inconsiderate or inhuman of me to show her absolutely no kindness that I would normally show another human being and pretend like she doesn't exist?

I am also a fixer. I worked with a person who is/was just like that. One year I bought everyone in the emergency room that I worked in, a Christmas ornament, wrapped all of them, and gave them out. This person returned it to me unopened. This person always was hard to deal with, so I finally stopped letting this person get under my skin. It didn't change how this person acted around me, but it did help me to not worry so much about that person accepting me. I try to remember it isn't me that was the problem, it was the other person.

[MickeyCheeky]

((((ennie)))) We need to treat everyone with kindness. Including ourselves... so unless it's an emergency or something, I don't think it would be inhuman on your part to decide to not help her, considering everything you've been through. After all it's her fault for acting the way she does. So no, I don't think you're doing a bad thing, just protecting yourself.

When someone you know gives you a direction, the normal reaction would be to say, "Okay thanks" and go.

Based on years of pattern, I was wrong for thinking it would be harmless to help her with something so little as telling her where the room of the function is.

Next time, I will just let her figure it out on her own or ask someone else.