What are some body language that a manipulative/ abusive person use to control and isolate you?

One thing that I have noticed is that they give you almost no personal space, stand or sit really close to you, and stare into your eyes. You feel pressured and end up giving in to their demands.

Another thing I noticed is that when you turn around, you catch them giving you the angry stare, like they want you to feel guilty about distancing yourself from them, or about the last "No" that you gave to their demand.

Is there anything else I should be cautious about, or does it take knowing the behavior of each individual to see the pattern?

[WishfulThinker66]

They certainly can be intimidating.

My ex was narcissistic and thus very manipulative. One thing he would do is swagger. Yes, walk as though he were commanding attention to himself. His stance, his walk, his movements very much sent the message of 'look at me, I am king poop'. Very arrogant. If you did not buy into his manipulation he gave you the cold shoulder you-are-unworthy treatment.

So yeah, swagger and arrogant stance are definitely part of their non-verbal communication.

Originally Posted by WishfulThinker66

They certainly can be intimidating.

My ex was narcissistic and thus very manipulative. One thing he would do is swagger. Yes, walk as though he were commanding attention to himself. His stance, his walk, his movements very much sent the message of 'look at me, I am king poop'. Very arrogant. If you did not buy into his manipulation he gave you the cold shoulder you-are-unworthy treatment.

So yeah, swagger and arrogant stance are definitely part of their non-verbal communication.

Wow, that so true. I know a narcissist who works too hard on her appearance and she walks like "look at me" with a strange "posing" smile. Not a natural smile like you are happy about something but the one a model makes when she poses in front of the camera.

I also noticed that a narcissist tries to show her power by "association." Whenever she was around her wealthy, nicely-dressed friends, she didn't want to talk to me. But when she isolates me, she would tell me all kinds of sob stories to get me to help her even though I am not made of money.

[UCLAFan]

Neighbor & an ex friend both crazy looks like they want to kill me after i ended both friendships

[MickeyCheeky]

I agree. They're usually pretty arrogant in the way they behave. That's what I noticed, anyway.

[Albatross2008]

I think of head-shaking and eye-rolling when you express an opinion or ask for something you need. That's clearly designed to make you second-guess yourself and think twice about speaking up next time.

Definitely on point about the angry glares. My ex-husband also used to include hand gestures with that. Either he'd flip the bird, or there's one where he would place his hand on the opposite forearm and then raise his closed fist. I believe it's a common gesture in parts of Europe (we're Americans, though) and it translates, "up yours."

General shaking a fist is also designed to intimidate. Also things like punching walls or slamming fists down on tables. The message in that is, "you're next."

And then there's the leaning forward on the edge of their seats, as if at any moment they're ready to leap up and spring at you.

Let's not forget that satisfied "yeah, I got her; target hit" smirk when they say something that hurts you.

Be prepared for their abject denial of ALL of this. Call them on it, and they'll claim they never made any gesture or looked at you any kind of way. It's all your imagination. You must be paranoid or something.

[Lefty Seven]

My only contact with non-medical people is through a bipolar support group, which, as an organization, is highly manipulative: head shaking, eye rolling, angrily glaring, fist shaking and smirking after talking trash. Every indicator is represented. You know what they say about those people. It's almost as if they're sick. Oh, yeah.

The only thing I could add is that body language can be misinterpreted and isn't the same for some people. If you google, what rolling eyes means, it says "contempt", which is a fairly strong word for that. Also, leaning into a conversation and looking people in the eye is not always a threatening thing, I know I do this and it is because I'm interested in what someone has to say. I find people watching very interesting, but body language really can vary from person to person. Interesting thread.

[Fuzzybear]

Interesting thread

[Albatross2008]

Originally Posted by 2daffodils

The only thing I could add is that body language can be misinterpreted and isn't the same for some people. If you google, what rolling eyes means, it says "contempt", which is a fairly strong word for that. Also, leaning into a conversation and looking people in the eye is not always a threatening thing, I know I do this and it is because I'm interested in what someone has to say. I find people watching very interesting, but body language really can vary from person to person. Interesting thread.

You have a good point. For me, if someone is leaning forward while smiling and nodding, I would think, "This person is friendly and interested in what I have to say." If someone is leaning forward on the edge of their seat while frowning and pointing a finger, I'd feel threatened.

[Keinta15]

Originally Posted by 2daffodils

The only thing I could add is that body language can be misinterpreted and isn't the same for some people. If you google, what rolling eyes means, it says "contempt", which is a fairly strong word for that. Also, leaning into a conversation and looking people in the eye is not always a threatening thing, I know I do this and it is because I'm interested in what someone has to say. I find people watching very interesting, but body language really can vary from person to person. Interesting thread.

Pretty much this, there cultural and family backgrounds matters a lot too in the way people give meaning to body language and other things.

Thank you all. I think the most important thing is to compare their interaction with the way they treat you daily. For example, does the person who talk to you standing close, ask if you need help with anything (a genuinely interested and caring person); or is she always asking you for excessive favors (a manipulator)?

And does that person stand close to you only when she is asking you for favors and distant other times? This is the case with the person I know. Everytime she asked to "hang out," it turned out she wanted something from me. Whenever she is around her nicely-dressed rich friends, she distances herself from me like she is ashamed of me or I am beneath her. But a sincerely caring person (and yes, I believe such people exist!) would stand close to me on a consistent basis, without wanting anything from me.

[MickeyCheeky]

((((ennie))))

[s4ndm4n2006]

depends on the person as to what methods one employs in manipulation. Keep in mind we all use manipulation to some extent to get things we want but people that are labeled "manipulative" do it to extreme levels and as a normal means for dealing with others in their relationships.

But just about anything that influences others behaviors can be used to manipulate and/or intimidate others into doing or feeling how they want you to. The thing to look at more so than the behaviors verbal and non verbal is the whole of the person's behavior. Someone one time doing something to get their own way by no means makes them a "manipulative" person but again, if that's their modus operandi...

Originally Posted by Lefty Seven

My only contact with non-medical people is through a bipolar support group, which, as an organization, is highly manipulative: head shaking, eye rolling, angrily glaring, fist shaking and smirking after talking trash. Every indicator is represented. You know what they say about those people. It's almost as if they're sick. Oh, yeah.

Why go to a group of highly manipulative: head shaking, eye rolling, angrily glaring, fist shaking and smirking after talking trash type people?