Was I Insecure Here?

divine1966 · Dec 18, 2018, 07:06 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by saidso

Yes, I would feel devasted too. Thanks for reminding us about the depth of feelings that happen in new/ first relationships!!!
Relationships are about having my feelings respected by me and by others, even if a proportion of that feeling comes from previous hurts and insecurity. Not controlling others, but HAVING THE DEPTH OF MY FEELINGS RESPECTED.

When reading my above statement in caps, something inside me jams up... because my childhood conditioning was extreme disrespect. I can write that and yet still not feel it deep inside and down to my boots!

It's easy for outsiders to disrespect the depth of feeling in first relationships... until you are the one experiencing that depth of feeling...

Do you think depth of feelings in a first relationship is different than depth in relationship later in life etc? You keep mentioning depth of feelings in first relationship. Is it oppose to second or third relationship? I very much beg to differ. In fact older we get deeper we are able to feel due to life experiences

saidso · Dec 18, 2018, 11:09 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by divine1966

Do you think depth of feelings in a first relationship is different than depth in relationship later in life etc? You keep mentioning depth of feelings in first relationship. Is it oppose to second or third relationship? I very much beg to differ. In fact older we get deeper we are able to feel due to life experiences

I was reflecting on what MaroonAbalone said about her friend acting surprised when MA explained to her how she felt about the intrusion. A friend might act surprised if she hasn't been in a serious relationship yet herself. That's all.

sarahsweets · Dec 28, 2018, 06:50 AM

I am not insecure in the least. I met my husband when i was 18 and it was love at first site. We have been together 23 years so far. Got married while in college, we have never felt threatened by each other's friends. EVEN I would have had an issue with him talking to my friend all day long. Her not getting it is another separate issue but as for him you have every right to explain that it bothers you. Be prepared that he may not change but you are allowed to be bothered by it.

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