[Paraisiut39]

I had to move home several years ago after an OD. Now, I’m stable, happy. I even am starting a new job. My problem is with my father and my sister. The only time he speaks to me is to scold me on whatever. Tonight it was a lighter. Last night it was him screaming at me about how I don’t do anything. My mom has a broken arm, I take the dog out seven times a day. I clean the kitchen, I fold the laundry, carry things back and forth. I do the laundry. All without question. He is the type that thinks that he says jump, I’m supposed to say how high. I am 39 years old. I’m sick of being treated like a child. He will not let me drive, he will not let me leave the house without explicit permission. And he cut off my therapy 10 mins before I was to see him.

I can’t handle this anymore. I am in remission, but slowly the anger is creeping in and I am terrified of a relapse, especially now that I found a job I love. He will not listen to me without screaming. All I do is wrong. Help me with this man so I can leave my safe space. I don’t even want to be in the same room with him.

[divine1966]

He can not prevent you from driving or leaving the house from
a legal stand point. He can’t cut your therapy either. Does he have some type of legal power over you? Like legal guardianship?

[Bill3]

What if you make a plan to move out again?

[s4ndm4n2006]

I'm assuming that because of your past event with OD you have had to rely on living with family to get on your feet. While I get that your father might be controlling and seemingly oppressive it would be presumptuous on my part to assume that there's not more to this.

Keep in mind you were taken in by these people, and by no means does that give them the right to control you, it does kind of say that there may be some basis in his controlling ways, if, that is that this is new behavior. Unless he's always been like this that's a different story.

On the other hand, Divine is right, that unless he has some kind of legal status to stop you from leaving and/or driving he doesn't really have a say in it, legally.

You should stand up for yourself if the above is true, that he doesn't hve legal power over you. Keep in mind though this is a person whose house you are living in, so although I strongly think you should make your case with him to stop doing so, it needs to be done with respect, and with thought of the fact that they are sheltering you, in mind.

Hope this helps.

[sarahsweets]

I saw your other thread was about the same thing. Do you have to live with him? What happens if you say No?

[MickeyCheeky]

I'm so sorry, Paraisiut39 Like I've already said in your previous thread, try to stand up for yourself if you can. Try to explain to your father that you're an adult and that you can take your own responsabilities. They can control your life only up to a certain point. You can still leave the house, drive your car, ecc. I'd suggest to save some money and move out as soon as you can. It's clear that you're struggling a lot. I'm so sorry. Please don't give up. I hope things will get better for you soon. Try to hang on. We're here for you. I hope writing here helps a bit. Feel free to PM me anytime. Let me know if I can do something to help you. Sending many hugs to you

[Alpha03]

Could you move out? You don't need toxic people in your life.

My life was pretty much similar to yours with controlling parents (especially my narc mother) from my early childhood right until I was about 23-24 so I understand what you're going through.

My advice would be to not tolerate their crap anymore and stand up to them. You have a job, yes? You should be able to support yourself. I would move out ASAP. If you can't afford to live on your own with your job money then get a roomate or something. If your father has a problem with you being on your own tell him to **** off. You're a grown man they have no right to treat you like a child.

Then again, I can only speak from experience. After all, it's amazing how one's quality of life improves when their controlling parents are put in their place and said parents slowly start to realize that they have no more power over you.

[healingme4me]

I agree about finding roommates. Anything is better than living like that. You may even find some of your MH symptoms improving. It's not a cureall but can have a panacea like effect.