Commitment phobia of my partner

Thank you all or your advice. I still do not know what to do. I understand his issue. I refuse to talk with him much, I hardly ever force myself to answer. I need time to figure out, If I am able to wait. I wrote him a long message with my analysis of what is happening in his head each time. How by the time the "moving in" step is coming closer, he hits the "panic button" etc. He thought at the beginning I would heal him from his problem magically, that is why he declared so soon a bright future together and so on. That is a red flag, too. But naive women think they found prince charming and it is going to be like in the movies. Anyway, when I told him finally what I really think, he said that even he is not able to understand his feelings and thoughts that well and he has never known anyone who would be able to do that as much as I do. He also said that this is the first time he is so honest about his thoughts and emotions with his partner, because he wants to fight for us and change for me. He also scheduled his first therapy for Wednesday. He apologized for his past behaviors. He realised what he was doing. I do not want a new person. I am all for a balanced space-giving relationship, but I do not want to suffer because of his anxieties. This has to change. He has to realise his pattern, the sabotage his mind creates and start healing. I get that it might take long. I told him I will support him, but I do not know If I am strong enough and I do not know If the damage to my heart, soul and this relationship is not too great already. Not to mention what most of you said - I might be waiting for him to heal, getting more hurt with him never changing.

I dated a guy very much like this. How old is your guy? I actually dated a guy who also was a professional (and M.D.), good looking, had many hobbies and into sports, smart, fun, took me to great places... he just had it all. Except he was 52 and had never been married. He did have a kid but he never married the baby mama.

His excuse for never getting married was that he "always thought he would" but hadn't met the right one yet. He claimed he wanted to marry someone 10 years prior - but she was apparently influenced by her family to break it off with him due to a 14 year age difference. Well that was his story anyway.

I really fell for him but he never talked about making things exclusive, I wasn't sure if we were or weren't supposed to date others. After two months, it bugged me so I talked to him about it. He said he just wasn't sure he wanted someone telling him what to do. I then knew he wasn't going to commit to me or anyone else. Ever.

In order to save myself further pain, I cut things off. It was so so difficult. He would text me saying he wanted to see me. I kept thinking well maybe he will change his mind. But in my heart I knew it was a waste of my time. He was not going to commit. I could either keep it going and keep it casual (basically doing it on his terms), or stand up for what I want.

If you do continue with him, just assume it is on his terms. Unfortunately, it's a catch 22. If you go back, then he will be appeased and it will reinforce that he can continue. If you leave, you won't have him in your life. It just depends what is important to you. Now it's a year later, and I am overall glad that I cut things off. The guy is still single, still on dating sites, and he actually sent me a text "what are you up to?" at 11pm one night over the holidays. I sent him back an eyeroll emoji. Really, they do not change. We only fool ourselves into thinking they might.

Good luck, whatever you decide!