Joking around at work

My main complaint is that the person I was referring to had been standoffish towards me ever since I ran from him shouting he’s gonna eat me. That was the 2nd time I joked with him. The first time was when I shouted he’ll kill me and begging others for protection. He didn’t become standoffish then but the 2nd time was the last straw. That makes me uncomfortable bc he now treats me different

Oh well. No one else seems turned off like that

Trust me if my coworker ran from me yelling I am going to eat him or kill him. I’d be staying as far away from him as possible. You bet I’d treat him very diffetrnt after those incidents. Plus he is your manager. It makes “you” uncomfortable?

Some people just can’t take as good as they give (that’s an expression).

Probably in your best interest to leave him alone.

My job developer just called the said behaviors ridiculous and unacceptable. And not normal.

I usually let one time slide with someone but YES, the second time is usually my last straw also. Then I keep my distance. He is your manager. Keeping his distance is TELLING YOU that he is not just another one of the employees & he is also TELLING YOU that your behavior was unacceptable. I stay away from people who repeat unacceptable behavior because I don't like it & I in staying away it won't encourage the bad behavior to continue especially if the person doesn't really listen to my telling them it is not acceptable.

He treats you differently because you showed him you behave differently. By behaving the way you do it is causing people to treat you this way. If yiu just did your job & earned your pay without all this inappropriate behavior you would not be treated any differently than others.

Just because others don't SEEM put off doesn't mean they aren't & just aren't showing it yet....so don't push them to the point they are.

Are you ignoring all of the posts where people tell you to stop joking around at work? It’s really frustrating. Do you only want validation? If so, just say so.

I agree wholeheartedly.

Ruby, you are having a lot of trouble understanding limits on your behavior at work. Your counselor or whomever it was just told you it’s unacceptable behavior. I understand you are trying to learn what is appropriate based on your co-workers’ behaviors. However, for you, I think it’s best to just go to work, do your work and not goof around. Understand that you have trouble with limits and boundaries. Also understand that yelling is never appropriate. Just do your work and focus on doing a good job.

I’m trying to imitate others but it kept turning out wrong. I’m trying to find the difference between what I do and what they do. So far, I know nobody else runs from someone and yell he’s gonna eat them. It prolly woulda been fine if high school kids did it at work but they didn’t.

I’m just complaining about that one person who now seems afraid to joke around with me bc of that one behavior from me. He became like that after the second time I did it. I avoid him like hell.

Since your style of joking around has failed miserably on all your jobs....just STOP doing it & stop trying to imitate others joking. It is not working & your interpretation has gotten you into trouble in past jobs.

NO it would NOT have been fine if high school kids did this at work. It is inappropriate for ANYONE in a work environment to do that behavior & high school kids KNOW this by that age. Your behavior was like a grade school child out on the play ground or kids goofing around NOT in a work environment.

well yes, he is NOT going to joke around with you & encourage your bad behavior since joking around with you seems to encourage inappropriate behavior from you.

It’s not appropriate for high school kids either

This! It is quite clear that your jokes/humor are not working in your work environment, so cut it out if you want to stay employed!

Since your issue stems from being unable to determine what is appropriate and professional on the job, your best bet to be successful at work is to NOT joke at all. Be pleasant and cooperative.

If you are management...you will get to set the tone for your work environment (within limits).

Although it is somewhat hypocritical, a good rule of thumb is to do as management says...not as they do. When others joke around simply smile to keep in good steed, whilst getting on with your work tasks.

first simply put you're there to work. Running from someone and yelling seems to me like you're acting like it's social time not work. Secondly yelling out at a job that someone is going to cannibalize or murder you is quite a bit over the top for the work place. Assuming you are yelling like you said, and this is a public place like you've worked before if I remember correctly it's even more out of place and inappropriate.

The question of whether it's ok to joke around or not I don't think is the foundational problem here. I'm going to venture to guess that your joking probably isn't within the same limits that most others have of what's appropriate.

Ruby, you're going to end up permanently jobless because no one wants to hire you, and you're already setting yourself up to have no one want to be around you. Every job you ruin will come back to haunt you when the next job calls your previous employers. You can't control your tongue, you can't keep your hands to yourself, you're a complainer, a whiner, absolutely inappropriate and you don't do any productive work. I'd consider going on disability.

She is in a supportive employment through the agency. It’s arranged by a case manager. When things go bad, they inform her case manager. I wonder how the case manager addresses issues that ruby has at work. Ruby always asks here in
a manner that appears like no one talked to her about what’s appropriate. I applaud her that she asks here but I wonder what does the case manager do about it? I think I asked before but don’t recall what was the answer

Bahaha!! That's funny, ha! Oh my goodness :-) I really don't know why it would be problem ruby - I haven't read the whole thread - and I guess a lot of people just don't have a sense of humor.

But, yes, why would it be a problem only when you joke around? I'm not exactly sure, but what about this...

Question: do you look different or is there something different about you in the eyes of your 'average' American that isn't in accordance with the 'mainstream' demographic? Because sometimes people will treat you differently - unfairly - if you look or seem different. Perhaps ethnicity, weight, perhaps LGBT, or do you wear a hijab? etc., etc., etc. - those kinds of things. [This is a global pattern in terms of 'minorities.']

I don't see a problem with joking around at work in most cases. I mean, I did it a ton when I worked at a cafe. A very popular chain cafe, by the way.

We would mess around all the time there.

Is there a certain tone you're using when you're joking around that is maybe a little too strong? Or is it ok?

I guess sometimes people feel uncomfortable when others do stuff that's out of the ordinary. It's hard to get a read on whether what you're doing is that way or not. Obviously, I can only surmise from the text you typed.

I think a little bit of joking around at work is fine. But you ought to do some work too. I mean maybe some joking, but mostly work? That's what I would do at my job. I would joke when we weren't as busy. And then when we started getting busy again I would get back to work. I guess I made it sound earlier in my post like I joked around all the time. But honestly, a little joking is fine in my experience and opinion.

I think it also depends on how much you need a job. If it’s take it or leave it and someone else will pay your bills, then I guess it is ok to run around and yell and be goofy. If you absolutely need a job to pay bills and eat (as most people) then you will think twice what’s appropriate.

The amount of joking and the tone you are "allowed" to use largely depends on the environment that you enter. So it's necessary to get a feeling for that before you start joking around, Ruby.


In some workplaces you'll have to be very serious, while other workplaces are much more easy going and relaxed. It also depends on the people you work with.

It seems that in your situation, joking around just isn't the way to go. I wouldn't lose too much sleep over that.

Its not about lacking a sense of humor, its about appropriate times and places to be joking, and her manager telling her not to.
It doesnt matter if it is a problem only when she jokes- the issue is she was told not to and did it anyway.
I do not at all think this has anything to do with it. If you read the thread you will have better context.

Yes but her manager has a problem with it.

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Is there a certain tone you're using when you're joking around that is maybe a little too strong? Or is it ok?

How would she know if its "ok", she was told to stop and didnt.

Quote:

I guess sometimes people feel uncomfortable when others do stuff that's out of the ordinary. It's hard to get a read on whether what you're doing is that way or not. Obviously, I can only surmise from the text you typed.

This is not at all about someone being out of the ordinary. HER manager told her to stop and she didnt. In fact she joked MORE and DIFFERENTLY and it was still a problem.

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I think a little bit of joking around at work is fine. But you ought to do some work too. I mean maybe some joking, but mostly work? That's what I would do at my job. I would joke when we weren't as busy. And then when we started getting busy again I would get back to work. I guess I made it sound earlier in my post like I joked around all the time. But honestly, a little joking is fine in my experience and opinion.

When you are the boss you can set that tone. Her boss set his tone and she didnt follow it.

Obviously a professional work environment is not meant for her level of mental impairment. She might prefer to work in a program on a farm where she's with people her own age and gets to spend time taking care of the farm animals. It'd be therapeutic for her. One of my closest friends has a mental disability and a learning disorder, and she absolutely loved working on the farm through a Ticket to Work disability program. Most of the other kids in her program were her age or younger, and every time we hung out she'd happily chatter about the momma piggies and the babies piggies and the flowers and veggies she grows and how she helps her group mates take care of the animals. I think Ruby would like working on a farm far better than a professional position, and yes, I question why her case manager thinks a retail/fast food position is best for her when she simply cannot handle that level of functioning.

I agree that’s kind of strange that a case manager keeps finding jobs for ruby that just aren’t a good fit. Not sure what’s the deal here. Farm isn’t a bad idea if ruby likes the kind of stuff. Farm animals aren’t everyone’s cup of tea either.

sorry, anyone running around in a public workplace yelling about cannibalism just isn't funny. inappropriate, most certainly. as a supervisor, i would not tolerate that in a work space. and from what i read here you work in a fast food place? in my opinion, you need to get your game together...time to grow up & get be an adult. don't worry about what others do...be an adult and act like it. it's work, not a playground.

having a mental illness is not an excuse to act inappropriately. be a professional.