[CrystalGirlx]

So just some background, I began dating a man about 3 years ago who was about 25 years older than myself. That alone should have been a reason to not do it but I was attracted to him and he seemed 100% devoted to me. Throughout the years the abuse started to escalate. Cheating accusations, intense rages, and excessive put downs. Of course I was "making it all up", "playing the victim", etc. He was anything but abusive. Several months ago I confronted him about his abuse and he physically grabbed me, ripped the strap off of my purse, and raged for close to an hour. When he calmed down he said he "didn't want me to leave that is why he did it but I needed to stop saying he was abusive and making up lies. I was called a pathological liar.

Eventually I became pregnant. He denies the child is his, but then when it suites him he says it is "his child" and then he says that because I am so abusive he fears for our child's safety. Right now I am 5 months pregnant and ended up leaving due to his escalating mental break downs. He is blaming me for his financial issues, depression, job loss, etc. We could be out together having a wonderful time and his mood will change instantly and he will become aggressive and start to blame me for his depressed state. I ended up seeking counseling and she stated he sounded like he had NPD and from the instances I told her about he sounded dangerous and recommended I seek legal advise for the baby when it is born.

[sarahsweets]

Crystal I responded to your other thread on this topic. I didnt want to confuse myself by responding here but I wanted to let you know.

[CrystalGirlx]

Is there a way for a mod to delete this? I thought it was declined due to be being in wrong forum so I posted it elsewhere.

[MickeyCheeky]

I'm so sorry you're going through all of this, CrystalGirlx I completely agree with you. He's definitely an abusive and dangerous man. I'm glad you went away from him. Stay away from him as much as you can. Cut off all contacts with him. If he gets dangerous, report him to the police. Do everything that is is in your power to keep yourself and the baby safe. I'm glad you're seiing a counselor. I completely agree with her as well. Try to contact a lawyer if you can. You need to protect yourself and the baby when he/she will be born. I'm so sorry you're going through all of this. It must be very scary for you. I'm glad you've been able to get away from him. That is one of the most difficult steps to take. Just try to focus on yourself right now. Take all the time you need. Take it one step at the time. Take baby steps. It won't be easy. It will take time. But it can be done. Stay strong, Crystalgirlx. Stay safe and take care of yourself. Remember that it's not your fault you're going through all of this. I'm so sorry. Please don't give up. Remember that things won't stay like this forever. They can and will get better. I hope you'll be able to get the help you need and deserve. You deserve to get better and to feel good. You deserve to live an happy life just like everyone else. I'm so sorry, I know it's hard. Please don't give up. I hope things will get better soon for you. Is there anything we can do to help you? Please let us know. Rememebr that we're here for you if you need it. Feel free to PM me anytime. Let me know if I can do something to help you. I'm so sorry you have to deal with this

[CrystalGirlx]

Originally Posted by MickeyCheeky

I'm so sorry you're going through all of this, CrystalGirlx I completely agree with you. He's definitely an abusive and dangerous man. I'm glad you went away from him. Stay away from him as much as you can. Cut off all contacts with him. If he gets dangerous, report him to the police. Do everything that is is in your power to keep yourself and the baby safe. I'm glad you're seiing a counselor. I completely agree with her as well. Try to contact a lawyer if you can. You need to protect yourself and the baby when he/she will be born. I'm so sorry you're going through all of this. It must be very scary for you. I'm glad you've been able to get away from him. That is one of the most difficult steps to take. Just try to focus on yourself right now. Take all the time you need. Take it one step at the time. Take baby steps. It won't be easy. It will take time. But it can be done. Stay strong, Crystalgirlx. Stay safe and take care of yourself. Remember that it's not your fault you're going through all of this. I'm so sorry. Please don't give up. Remember that things won't stay like this forever. They can and will get better. I hope you'll be able to get the help you need and deserve. You deserve to get better and to feel good. You deserve to live an happy life just like everyone else. I'm so sorry, I know it's hard. Please don't give up. I hope things will get better soon for you. Is there anything we can do to help you? Please let us know. Rememebr that we're here for you if you need it. Feel free to PM me anytime. Let me know if I can do something to help you. I'm so sorry you have to deal with this

He is extremely abusive. It has taken me 3 years to finally come to terms with the fact that I am an abuse victim. I was constantly gaslighted, blamed, and tormented into thinking that I was the cause of the abuse that I was suffering. If I could just be "different" he wouldn't need to act the way he acted. The other day I listed out instances where he was abusive towards me....I got up to 42. In...three years. That is more than once a month, and some instances weren't even included in this.

He just got worse and worse over time, getting more and more bold and nasty in his abuse. The more I let go, the worse and more cold hearted his abuse became as time went on.

I read a lot into narcissism. I thought we were in the "discard" phase of narcissism several times in the last three years. He would leave me, because of my "abuse" (which was me just standing up for myself) or I would leave and I was "so cold hearted and just kept dumping him for no reason so I was lucky he was taking me back".

I am finally in the true discard. No phone calls, no texts, no hoovering. I believe he is now dating someone else. He completely did not talk to me on valentines day, and said he had made "other plans".

I do not suit his needs anymore. I am too much effort with a baby, I don't accept his raging insults anymore, so he's gone.


When we first started dating he constantly received calls from a woman he was dating but he broke up with due to her "issues". He said she use to get drunk and berate him, call him names, and she even came over and keyed his car once. I asked him why he didn't just block her number, or contact the police when she damaged his property. He said he felt bad for her, and he never abandoned his friends and wanted to help her has much as he could. Something just didn't sit right with me about the entire thing and I should have stood my ground with that. I became this woman. I was the one with "issues", I was the one with "problems", I became the replacement of this woman.

Scratching his car? You know, I could have seen myself doing something like that given the things he had done to me. Sexually assault me, degrade me, belittle me, stalk me. I could see myself just snapping one night and doing it.

Calling him? It's been me. I have called him repeatedly when he was ignoring me after I stood my ground.

Berating him? I have done it after he called me disgusting names.