[TishaBuv]

I met friend C when I was 13, 40 years ago.

We used to poke fun at ourselves and at others behind their backs. We (as least I) poked the fun at others just to make ourselves laugh. It was never meant to go further than just us.

Many years later, she told me she had TOLD the people I joked about what I said! I am mortified by that and had no clue at the time. I didn’t even know the few people I joked about. They were just other kids at school.

Of course I know I was wrong to do it, but I was 13.

So, I had this on/off toxic friendship with her until 9 months ago. We had a blow out because she went off on me, harassing me. I had to block her on social media. She just wouldn’t knock it off and respect my boundaries.

She backed off. She never called me again or apologized for her behavior. I never called her again.

She hears about me and I hear about her through a mutual friend. I try not to feed the mutual friend any info I don’t want her knowing. Mutual friend, should know better than to put herself in between, but she gets sucked in.

But there really hasn’t been any issue since we stopped talking and this other friend’s role. It’s cool.

The Toxic thread just got me thinking about how it all sprung from our childish mean humor. I’m sure it wasn’t me who wanted the mean humor, more I did it to make her laugh. The mean came from her I’m pretty sure.

[TishaBuv]

I had a bff before her for years and we never shared mean humor together. Sure, we made fun of ourselves. We always laughed at ourselves and our situations.

You really can’t blame yourself for stupid things you did when you were 13. I feel pretty embarrassed at some of the things I did as a kid but kids just do stupid stuff. Friendships are tricky for me. I tend to put up with way too much nonsense and then cut people off... one extreme to the other. I’m really working on improving this. Maybe you can give yourself some space from her. Just cool the relationship down a bit and focus on other things?? Just always know that she has this mean streak... she really isn’t someone you can trust is she?

[MickeyCheeky]

You were just a kid, TishaBuy! I'm sure you meant no harm to the other kids. I'm sorry this friend is being toxic to you. Youd di the right thing by cutting off contacts with her and not engaging with her anymore. We don't need more toxic people in our lives. You need to take care of yourself, after all. It's just self-preservation. I'm glad you've had other, better friends outside of her. Remember that we're here for you if you need it. Feel free to PM me anytime. Let me know if I can do something to help you. Sending many hugs to you