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  #1  
Old Apr 12, 2019, 10:48 AM
me251 me251 is offline
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Member Since: Apr 2019
Location: Tallinn
Posts: 1
I really donīt understand.
I had a friend. He said he cared about me and would always answer the phone and never throw me away. It had been 10 years since anybody talked to me, when he called, I thought: this life is bareable after all. But I fell in love with him and then he started to ignore me, told me I am scary and mental and I havenīt talked to anyone heart to heart for 8 months again. Like, itīs all just hello, goodbye level... When I go out, people ignore me like I am not there. I donīt look like a monster I think. I also try to be generous and kind. But I donīt have a person to trust. Nobody ever asks me how I am, if I am doing all right, if I ate anything. Nobody ever calls EVER or invites me out to places. when I call someone, the phone rings and rings and people just dont answer and I never hurt them in any way, I donīt understand. out of 140 times, shouldnt somebody answer? . I am just so emotionally drained, so exhausted, out of strength, I just want a hug, but my last hug... was 6 years ago.... who even am I? Do I exist? am I invisible? I really suspect I might be a ghost but ghosts donīt draw pictures. "friends". all that my friends do is ask for favor after favor without pay, I do everything but I have no more food at home.
I miss my real friend, my brother my soulmate. I am really sorry I fell in love I will push it down... I just want someone to trust... I am so alone in this world. itīs too hard to bare. I have absolutely nobody to talk to.
is it my fault? just what did I do? I donīt understand. Being born? Is that it, my existence is bad? Do I not have the right to have just 1 friend? I am thinking of disappearing. I just canīt take it any more. I am sorry, it wasnīt my choice to exist. how long do I need to stay here when nobody loves me and nobody wants to be my friend? I just want to cry it all out but there isnt anyone. I can spill my heart to. what must I do... what must I do then, to have 1 friend in this world? is it not enough to help everyone every day for free... what else must I do to be loved even a little bit? cant somebody just say thank you, or that itīs ok for me to exist...
Hugs from:
Anonymous45521, Anonymous59786, Fuzzybear, Goforward, HowDoYouFeelMeow?

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  #2  
Old Apr 12, 2019, 04:20 PM
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metalchick metalchick is offline
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Member Since: Oct 2014
Location: Ri
Posts: 669
You were put here on this earth for a reason. What is it, you may never know. But there is a reason...so please dont do anything to harm yourself. I know how you feel, as no one cares about me either. I have thought the same things...am I a ghost? Is this real or a dream? Am I looking at myself from above (or below)?

At least your friend has told you how he felt. I know it sucks and it hurts, but now you know. Would it be better that he strings you along and uses you and treat you like crap? You deserve better than that. You should try to move on. Do something for you. What do you like and enjoy? Do you have a hobby?
  #3  
Old Apr 12, 2019, 05:09 PM
Icedgem Icedgem is offline
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Member Since: Aug 2017
Location: here
Posts: 89
Sorry you're going through this.

I totally understand what you're saying in your post, I've often wondered the same about myself.

Stay strong, things will be ok
  #4  
Old Apr 12, 2019, 05:25 PM
Quarter life Quarter life is offline
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Member Since: Nov 2013
Location: My Own Orbit
Posts: 6,912
Hello me251.

For those who feel alone, or simply wanting to reach out for a chat without judgement......Psych Central is the place. There are many good listeners here... we're a pretty good bunch.

I have been an active member of this site for 4 years. In that time I have received some really constructive feedback and connected with several others with similar challenges to myself. I have also found hanging out in the Games Forums https://forums.psychcentral.com/games/to to be a welcome distraction in times of stress... a great way to clear my head, meet like minded others, and have some well needed fun. New members benefit greatly from perusing the many forums available here...lots to explore.

Also after 5 approved posts members have the option to join the chatrooms..or chat one on one with other members.

Should you have any questions on navigating this site, please don't hesitate to private message me or any of the other Community Liaisons, who will be more than happy to help. Just click on the screen name above my avatar.

Please be kind & generous to yourself me251, and welcome to P.C
__________________
The devil whispered in my ear, "You cannot withstand the storm." I whispered back, "I am ​the storm."
  #5  
Old Apr 12, 2019, 05:28 PM
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downandlonely downandlonely is offline
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Member Since: Mar 2018
Location: United States
Posts: 10,760
Hi me251 I'm sorry you feel so lonely. I hope you will make friends on this site.
  #6  
Old Apr 12, 2019, 06:02 PM
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Fuzzybear Fuzzybear is offline
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Member Since: Nov 2002
Location: Cave.
Posts: 96,639
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  #7  
Old Apr 13, 2019, 05:27 PM
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WishfulThinker66 WishfulThinker66 is offline
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Member Since: Jun 2018
Location: Canada
Posts: 2,285
loneliness is the worst. I am sorry you are experiencing it.

I have said it numerous times, when we are having social difficulties sometimes it does us just as well to look without as it does within. Consider those people who we see as being successful socially. Is there anything you can observe that makes them so successful? Recognizing these characteristics and behaviours is it possible to role model some of them to your own benefit? Learn too from observing behaviours from those that put you off. Remember that effective non verbal communication is paramount to successful socialization.
  #8  
Old Apr 13, 2019, 07:35 PM
Anonymous45521
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Posts: n/a
No body cares about me either. I don't say that in a "poor me" way. I just know it in my bones.
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