"I hope it works out"??

What the heck? A good friend of mine, a NEW good friend, said to me and my fiance last night, "I hope it works out" just TWO WEEKS before we're getting married!!!

Who says that kind of thing?!?

It totally burst my happiness bubble, as though she thinks we're NOT going to work out, and good luck to you trying, kind of thing.

I was SO upset. I confronted her, and now she's trying to claim it was a joke and that she was drunk.

Lame excuses! I want my happiness bubble back... but seriously, WHY would someone say such a thing right before we're getting married???

It sounds to me like a joke (in poor taste though). I think it says more about your friend than you or your marriage.

Thank you for your reply! She claims it was a joke -- now she sees it was poor humor. But it was a very strange joke to make to someone on the heels of their wedding. VERY strange. It does say something about her... not sure what though!

I think she has no class, to be perfectly honest. I say she's a good friend, which she is to an extent, but she is a new friend and I don't know her terribly well yet. Someone with class would never say "I hope it works out". I am really upset over it.

I agree that it's more about her issues that she's projecting on to you and your fiance. She's probably jealous, or has low self esteem, or who knows what. She clearly has no problem insulting people. Wow.

What she said was completely in poor taste. Joke, hardly. Anyone with any semblance of class would never say something that tasteless to a couple about to be married.

Ask yourself: is this the type of friend you want in your life? If the answer is, "no!" then just drop her from your social circle. You don't owe her an explanation either.

Low class, plus a drunk. No one with any kind of common sense would say such thing. Not the first time you post how some “so called good friends” do bizarre stuff and usually when they are drunk (is this the same one that was flirting with your fiancée?). Time to take inventory of your friends. Some might need to be demoted from friend status

Even if it was a joke, that is an unacceptable one from a friend.

The fact that she made excuses instead of apologizing or showing shame/ remorse, shows that she is likely to say something like that again.

You can take this one as a yellow flag to start distancing yourself from her.

You also don't need to invite her to your wedding.

Exactly what ennie said. She's shown you who she is and she is someone who lacks integrity and respect for other people. That's fairly clear. Please do not invite this woman to your wedding and definitely start distancing yourself from her. She's not a good friend.

Thank you everyone! I really appreciate the support since her comment hurt me! GRRR.

Yes, agreed that it was in very poor taste. I suspect it may be jealousy??

She did apologize, but still, she made excuses too.

I will definitely distance myself from her now and will take inventory of my so-called "friends".

She's in a circle of friends that I adore, but they're a relatively new group of friends for me, so I am just getting to know them better.

She's not invited to the wedding, lol, so no worries there. Hehehe.

She is of no importance to you. Don’t give her any thought

I'm going to try to be as respectful as possible with this response, but I am wondering why is your mood so reliant on the opinions of this intoxicated woman?

1) I did not know she was intoxicated. She lied I believe about being drunk
2) she’s a friend
3) I am sensitive to negativity
4) it upset and hurt me
5) my mood is not SO reliant on the opinions of this woman, however she burst my happy bubble

What’s so hard to understand? My friend was very rude to me.

Id be heart broken if actual friend said something weird about my marriage. But is this woman a real friend? I’d look into a definition of friendship. I noticed many people have very loose definition of friendship.

I honestly have never had a friend who’d be nasty like this. I had acquittances or coworkers or random people I know who were not so nice. If they were friends, then they stopped being friends if they were nasty.

I wonder if social media messed people’s definitions of friendship. People have hundreds of so called “friends”, whom they barely know if it all, some they never met and so on.

How well do you know this person? Is she someone you meet at venues like during social events and she is just in your social circle and attends same events or she is your actual friend? Have you spent time one on one with her, do things together two of you, had meaningful conversations, confided in each other, know each other families or at least about them, know your past etc or is it just acquaintance from your social circle? What I am trying to say friends don’t speak like this to their friends, social acquittances who don’t really care about your feelings might.

I noticed you know these people who either say or do unkind things to you or neglect or ignore or ghost you and you keep referring to them as friends. I don’t know if they also think of you as a friend, but they sure don’t behave that way.

She and I have had a few long conversations, but she's not someone I get together with 1:1. She's in my social circle. I have been to her home for a party. I see her out often, but yeah, she's more like an acquaintance in my social circle. I say friend because it feels like she's a friend.

That being said, I'm going to be very careful about whom I care to call a true friend, and about whom I consider to be a true friend.

Anyways, I feel pretty much over it now. Thank you all for your replies! It really helped!!!

Awesome!!!! Get ready for a wedding!!!

YES!!!!

If a comment like that offends you, it's probably because you yourself are insecure about your relationship and are worried that it's not going to work out.

Quote:

Originally Posted by TheNightWhistle If a comment like that offends you, it's probably because you yourself are insecure about your relationship and are worried that it's not going to work out.

I disagree a little. I dont think you have to be insecure about something to be bothered by a thoughtless friend in your social circle. The shock value alone would bother me....

I guess if you value this person's opinion, then it could be offensive, you're right.

I don’t appreciate this comment. That’s a very negative and unsupportive statement and It couldn’t be farther from the truth. I’m very happy to be marrying him, and I’ve already explained why it bothered me.

Exactly! We are both still talking about it, three days later. It was shocking.

True. I don’t have marital issue (besides some normal occasional disagreements that people might have) and I don’t tolerate negative comments about my marriage.

Thank you, Divine. I also never stated that I have doubts. No one needs to conjecture or read negatively into things.

Thanks for the detailed explanation and insight. I'm sorry she was rude. I really hope that the negativity doesn't derail your happy!

Remember to focus on you two and the lives that you are building together!

Have you brought it up to your friend that she really hurt your feelings?