What to do?

Thank you ALL SO MUCH for the support! I'm so sorry I haven't been very clear! I'm still at University right now, which is your equivalent of college! Right now I'm studying Languages, something that I'm not really interested in, that's why I've wanted to change and see what other options are available! Right now I'm trying to look up for some sort of career counselling or anything similar to that at my University, but I can't really find anything like that! Perhaps I should ask someone there directly at some of the offices they have, although I have to admit I'm very embarassed to do that and I'm very shy! I have to admit that there ARE a few ideas that I have in mind! It's just that I'm not very sure about them! I was thinking of studying Cinema, for example, or perhaps studying to become a Social Worker, but I'm afraid there may not be a lot of job opportunities for these! That's why I'm not sure! I hope I'll be able to find someone that may be able to help me at University! I have to admit that it IS very hard since I'm doing ALL of this by myself since I haven't talked abotu ANY of this to my parents or any other people IRL! You guys are the first one I'm sharing ALL of this, and I'm very GRATEFUL for the IMMENSE support that you're giving! THANK YOU SO MUCH! Thank you SO MUCH for the book recommendation as well! I'll DEFINITELY check it! THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH! YOU'RE ALL AWESOME AND YOU ALL ROCK! PLEASE REMEMBER ALL OF THAT AS MUCH AS YOU POSSIBLY CAN BECAUSE IT IS TRUE! Sending many hugs to EVERYONE!

Sorry if someone already posted this and I missed it, but what about informational interviews with people who hold jobs in your (possible) chosen career? It's challenging to do if you feel shy, but could give you very valuable information, especially if you could arrange for a bit of job shadowing. The professors at your university may also be a good source for figuring these things out. I thought you were already in the social services field from your posts!

Hi Mickey,

From what I know of you, as I’ve seen on here, you are an extremely caring person who tirelessly supports others with positivity. I also noticed you post about you having depression.

If your major is languages, that is a good foundation to finish your degree and pursue many different paths.

One of my sons majored in English and Psychology. In the US, this undergraduate degree is just a basic foundation, probably less valuable than Languages. But he enjoyed learning what he took, so we’ll see where it takes him. He got hired right after college for a big company and is doing well, getting promoted.

My other son also pursued his interest and became an engineer, doing very cutting-edge things, now in graduate school. He just expressed to me he is not sure he is enjoying what he ended up doing. But now he has this valuable, specialized skill. So, he’s pretty much stuck doing it.

I also read “What Color is your Parachute?”. You may find it very helpful to direct you in what you are good at and what you like.

I say to think about what you would like your workday to be like. Visualize yourself doing something and what you would like your day to look like.

For me, I never had a career. I married someone who supported me. Is that still an option in this world? Lol. There are many, many options. The most important thing is to be happy!

MickeyCheeky, how do universities deal with students in Italy who are enrolled and want to change their major of study? I know for me, as an undergraduate here in the Midwest, I changed my major of study about 4 times in less than 2 years -- which meant I had to add and drop courses. I eventually settled on the major of study I wanted, with a minor of study too and graduated with extra credits from my previous major of study.

Are you in your first, second, or third year at university? Is it too late for you to switch your major of study? If you don't want to get a degree in languages, then you need to ask you university's registrar office how to switch to another major of study.

Here in the US I got my AA degree in Music (2 years of college). Then I transferred to the 4 year university to get my BA.

Turned out I decided to change my whole major focus away from music & go for Computer Science. Then I actually made one more change to Accounting with Computer Science as my minor. It took my extra years to graduate but I came out with a major I could actually have a good paying career in.

Go figure... I was doing data entry at a little company that used IBM equipment & programmers. I realized I was just as smart as they were.....& programming & problem solving interested me.....so that was how I actually changed directions. My parents were useless to talk to about stuff like that since they weren't into education in the first place. I had to figure it out on my own & research everything on my own including what I needed to change majors. It can be done.....just takes determination & ACTION & some good ideas to go from.

Nothing worse than taking a FUN major for a degree & finding no career when finished.

Thank you ALL SO MUCH for you advice and support!!!!! You've all given me GREAT, WONDERFUL ADVICE! Right now I'm in my second year of University! Switching Universities should NOT be a problem for me and I don't think it's too late since I know of people who have done that and are doing that ALL THE TIME! The problem is that I don't know WHICH career to pursue! I feel like perhaps I just need to work on MYSELF before having some clear ideas about what to do with my life! How long will it take to do that though? What should I do while doing that? HOW do I do that? It will also be very hard to tell my parents this! I feel like it's already hard enough to tell them that I don't like what I'm currently studying since they have put so much faith and trust in me! I'm not sure I could tell them ALL OF THIS without even knowing WHAT DO I WANT TO DO! All of these questions are making me feel more and more discouraged! I haven't given up yet but I'm not sure how long will it last! I feel VERY lost right now and I'm unsure of what to do... I can't do that alone! I DO need some help, I just don't know WHO! Thank you ALL SO MUCH for the GREAT ADVICE AND SUPPORT THAT YOU'RE GIVING ME! I realize I'm venting and writing too much and I hope you'll be able to forgive me for that! I'm just unsure of what to do next! Thank you ALL SO MUCH for being here and thank you ALL SO MUCH for the help you're giving! I hope I'll be able to repay my debts towards ALL OF YOU one way or another! YOU ALL DESERVE IT! YOU'RE ALL AWESOME, KIND, STRONG AND WONDERFUL PEOPLE! I PROMISE YOU ALL OF THAT BECAUSE IT IS TRUE! PLEASE REMEMBER ALL OF THAT AS MUCH AS YOU POSSIBLY CAN BECAUSE IT IS TRUE! Sending many hugs to EVERYONE!!!!!

Mickey, I think I got a solution (Genius Doctor strikes again!)

First of all, read extensively. Read about arts and science. I think the source of your confusion is your lack of knowledge of how academics is. Now, I think you should be reading instead of being online.

Browse Amazon. Go to the textbooks section. There are several categories there (e.g. "Computer science", "Medicine & Health Sciences,"Science and Mathematics", "Humanities," just to name some) Brose each and every category, till you find a book of the subject you like based on the product description. Make a list of all these books and buy the one you like most. Use Wikipedia or Google to familiarize yourself with the content of the book.

After the book is delivered, read the book for a healthy amount of time (an hour or so), do something else. Then ask yourself, "Do I find the subject the book belongs to, enjoyable? Should I make a career in it?" Read more about the subject (if you like the book), use Google to see the job market and minimum education required for the jobs you like. That's it for now. Make sure to research the subject of your choice.

If all this sounds confusing, I will give an example.

I go to Amazon. I go to "Textbooks" category. I go to Science and Mathematics. I list these books

1) A Brief History of Time - Stephen Hawking. (A book on popular science)
2) Cosmos - Carl Sagan. (A book on popular science)
3) Black Holes - Stephen Hawking. (A book on popular science.)

I select Cosmos by Carl Sagan. I Google it and get an idea of its content when I click on the link of the Wikipedia article. I like the book, I buy it. I search for more books like this. Eventually I buy formal textbooks like Principles of Physics and then I am happy with my career as scientist in future.

Are you sure your parents feel how you fear they feel? I would assume your parents would welcome an open, honest conversation with you about your life’s direction.

You ‘realize you are venting and writing too much’. Why are you minimizing yourself? You are just as important as anyone else and deserve to vent and write as much as you want, heck, the posts are free! You don’t even have to ‘repay’ anyone. We are all trying to help because we want to, because we like and care about you.

Hi Mickey,
In my experience (only, don't know how this pans out where you live) it's fine to give up your studies and work on yourself for a year or two. BUT it would be good if you could work during that time, both for gaining real life experience and gaining work experience for whatever career you choose. It is ok to do your degree later than others, but it's not ok to flop around examining your soul for a gap year when you have no previous work experience. Working is often stupid but it gives you a sense of being valued by other people, independence, other points of view, a reality check and something on your CV that tells universities and future employers than you are honest and know how to get up in the morning.

I did my degree at 30. I can vouch for the fact that having a lot of previous life experience made it easier to get through my course of study and leave with an honours degree. After my degree I took a one month computer course and was snapped up in a well-paying job. But I had previously worked in one small job or another since I was 16.

I know that in some countries having a standard career/ studies trajectory might be more important then where I was competing for work.

I host students from different parts of Europe and have seen a range of successful, and some very unsuccessful people who are unhappy in their studies. So I'm talking from that perspective also. It's easy to get lost in your inner world and inner arguments when you haven't been much involved in the outside world - but even the students who couldn't get themselves out of bed before midday eventually found something inspiring. You do have to be realistic about what universities and employers need from candidates however.

That's all just my personal experience. Mostly my life has been a mess, but in terms of studies and jobs it worked out well.

Good luck !

Saidso

PS Even if unacceptable from the point of view of your parents, I think that any paid job would be grounding for you as you try to find your direction. I had one student stay with me who had been expelled from all his schools and who worked a 6 am shift filling shelves with a fork lift in a big supermarket. He went on to become president of his university. My own work before studying ranged from getting a basic certification to work with young children, to making costumes for movies, with retail/ cleaning/ babysitting/ driving jobs sandwiched in between. I started out really shy and met a huge, huge range of different people and experiences on my way.

I think that it's important if you are going to investigate yourself emotionally to also have some external anchor on the cogs whirring round in the world outside your own family.

Also, I am always saying to unhappy students "get out there socially" - join or start a film club, a book club; volunteer to work with animals; do some research into some business that interests you. Like someone said above "take ACTION". Action doesn't work as an escape from inner conflicts, but it is important to routinely step away from them in order to go forward. Get up in the morning, go out, forget your self for a few hours.

If you have a peer group they can help you in all sorts of ways to calm down things with your parents. Offer you time away from them, offer understanding...

(((((mICKEY))))). I’ve been away from the forum for a couple of days now and am just checking in briefly because of time constraints, but can tell you’ve posted additional material and have gotten some wonderful responses. I look forward to reading them in much more detail later on, but I just know there’s got to be a whole lot of really helpful material in there. A lot of folks on this forum obviously really care about you. Me too. 🌹

Hy, i read a lot of comments in your topic, and ,really, i agree in the solution to change if you didn't love languages university.Take into account that SOCIAL WORKER are required and researched for example , so this coulb be a valid alternative if you want to change. In any case as you wrote, it's important to tell to someone in your family your idea and i am sure that also your parent will support you in the change-Please think that your future is more important than the fear to speak with your parents or with an uncle or with a cousin.
Think on one of them and start speaking about your problem! i am sure all will be better. a big hug

hy Mickey, did you meet the university team ? some good news for us?

Hi, @thebestofme! Yes, I've already contacted my University Counsellors a while ago but I can't really see them because I'm already seeing a therapist right now So that's not an option. Right now I'm trying to tell my therapist but it isn't easy. On another nothe, thank you ALL SO MUCH FOR THE SUPPORT YOU'VE BEEN GIVING ME! I'll certainly NEVER forget it! Sending many safe, warm hugs to EVERYONE!

i am sorry for that.
in this case, try to speack as much as possible with your therapist and also with your relatives. No Fear, they will understand you , i am sure!!!