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Peter86
Junior Member
 
Member Since Oct 2018
Location: Sweden
Posts: 14
5
Default May 11, 2019 at 07:11 AM
  #1
I was one of those very talkative and popular guys during elementary school and high school, but then after that I for some reason developed a more and more quiet and careful type of personality some time in 2005 or so, and I didn't like that at all.
I have then remained more or less that way in front of almost everyone except my closest family members and friends, and I have noticed that this has started to make me more and more frustrated and annoyed lately.
I will think back on the school days when I always hung out with people and gave a social and spontaneous impression in front of everyone, then I compare that to how I act nowadays and I always tell myself "no, this is not me".
Of course, I also gave that quiet impression in front of my classmates at my current university, as well as basically everyone else that I run into there.

These last couple weeks this has started to irritate me more and more, even to the point that it has given me enough motivation to insist on acting in a more relaxed and talkative way in front of them.
Every time I have run into a classmate the last few weeks I have immediately reacted "no, I am not acting shy and awkward again!" - like a kind of reflex - and then I end up acting a lot more outgoing and relaxed than I usually do.
It's not so much that I have decided to start practising, it is more like an "I am so damn tired of always being awkward and giving the wrong impression, I am gonna show a more social side of myself now once and for all!" type of reaction.
And I do generally get positive reactions from this, so that's of course very motivating.

Have you ever heard of any situation similar to this?
It feels like I have finally had enough of having a personality that I don't enjoy and that this has made me aggressively start to force myself to have that personality that I feel that I should have.
It's as if I have been building up this desire for change for so long now that my patience has reached its limit and forced me to act it out.
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