When a narcissist ex-friend hoovers

While it is true I didn't ask for advice...there were several suggestions. I found Golden Eve's suggestion the most helpful.

How can we can wrong to gently remind ourselves to practice self-care? It is really the foundation of mental health recovery. I am glad that Golden Eve pushes it to the forefront.

Another poster did not seem to get what I was saying about not feeding the narcissist with emotional energy. Maybe some people don't believe this...but I do...that there is an energetic psychic bond that needs to be broken.

THE ONLY WAY TO STOP ABUSE...IS POSITIVITY. That also serves to break negative bonds.

I do think that positivity itself creates a cloak of protection. So, yes, I think it is becoming known that I am a big fan of Golden Eve because I think she uses this positive mindset in her own life and it works...and I feel her positive energy on the forum...like balm for my soul.

Plus, she's a newlywed! She's all glowing and peaceful and chill and I love her, guys! The new Mrs. rocks!~

If you went or are going no contact with her this should include social media. Otherwise she will always occupy space in your head and she will know what you are up to. Is there any other reason why you would still stay friends on social media? I ask because a few months ago my son broke up with his GF and she was still sending nasty texts so he blocked her. I asked him why he didnt block her on social media and he said it was because she technically hadnt harassed him via social media yet but in hindsight he realizes he was just too curious about what she was up to and also wanted to put up a good "front" to show her he was moving on with his life. He knew she was reading his stuff and he was reading her stuff so it was sort of a passive way to satisfy his curiosity. He also felt like blocking her on social media was very "final". He has since blocked her but it took him a few months to realize it was for the best.

There are no "shoulds" or right or wrong ways to do NO CONTACT. Some people do it gradually. My son broke up with his girlfriend and didn't delete her or her family from Facebook for months...for the simple reason he rarely went on Facebook. In fact I think he just closed his account as he hated Facebook anyway.

I am not going on Facebook looking up this person's timeline for the simple reason she rarely posts. As I said before on this thread...I don't post personal stuff. I post about issues I am interested in. I don't care whether or not she reads my stuff.

I really don't think people understand narcissism and detaching from the narcissist. If it was a simple as No Contact...it would be a no brainer.

The way people are describing it...they are describing more drama. Do this. Do that. Don't do this. Don't do that.

As well, you are not even posting here about your personal experience but about someone else's experience.

I am going to request that this thread be closed. The reason is that I think enough has been said on this subject...and I am tired of people thinking NO CONTACT is all that is needed to detach from a covert narcissist. I personally don't think unfriending them on Facebook is the most important thing.

The narcissist always HOOVERS back and they will find a way...and it isn't necessarily Facebook or social media.

This is really about getting better...and getting healthier.

Golden Eve has the right idea. If we keep the spotlight on our own life...and off the narcissist...we will heal.

I don't think blocking or deleting the covert narcissist on social media is going to keep her not in my mind.

If I am emotionally detached...I won't care...even if her picture is on a billboard on the highway!

A few people here get it. And to those few who know who they are...thank you, again. Most comments are a bit clueless so I am going to ask that this thread be closed.