Noticing how I handle bad relationships

I shouldn’t be letting this bother me... but...

A few years ago I befriended somebody I thought was nice. I was foolish and have since learned to be much wiser and more selective about who I trust... I don’t care at all anymore if people seem nice, that’s not nearly enough.

She has been quite ugly. She would make rude comments, teased me in a mean way, did not reciprocate my friendship efforts... I suspect she bad mouthed me to other coworkers....I got away from her quick as soon as I saw all this starting to happen.

I don’t usually befriend people at work... she started working with me almost a year after I had met her. I still have to see her occasionally and I grit my teeth and smile and try to be nice. When I have to be around her I feel very upset for how she behaves and I really take it personally. I also have to listen to her making jabs at me about ignoring her and how that hurts her feelings.

What strikes me as ridiculous is that I can see myself internalizing her ugly behavior toward me. It has no reflection on me... other than my poor decision to trust her a little bit... mentally I know this but emotionally I have this terrible habit of feeling bad about myself when I’m being treated badly. I have to stop this.

I did do something that I’m very happy with though. I avoided all conflict and drama with this person... on my end. I did my best to ignore her comments and I kept the peace. The old me would not have handled it as well. Fortunately I rarely have to see her and hopefully this was a good lesson for me....

Doesn’t matter how old we get, there’s always more to learn.