[Confused1991]

Hi everyone
Before I begin, please don't judge me as I am lost and torn. I am married have been for 7 years now and it has been rocky and left me feeling alone. I found a little happiness with someone else but he is way younger than me , he accepts my kids and the fact that I can't have more, but as soon as I speak to my husband about leaving he tells me I won't get my kids because he doesn't let me work so I have no proof of income and no one that I can stay with. I'm torn apart because I'm trying to keep my kids happy but I am busy breaking myself down more and more each day. My husband came home one night and he forcefully tried to have ... when I said no he got angry at me. is there anyone with some advice or anything please I can't keep crying like this anymore

[MickeyCheeky]

I'm so sorry you're hurting so much, Confused1991! I DO understand your doubts, but I do believethat you'd be better off leaving him for good! Your kids won't truly be happy if you aren't happy with your husband after all! Can I ask you if your husband is abusive towards you and your kids? If that's the case you DEFINITELY need to get away from him AS SOON AS YOU POSSIBLY CAN! I'd suggest to talk to a lawyer about ALL of this and see how it goes from there! The fact that your husband doesn't let you find work and forces you to do things that you don't want to do instead also means that he's VERY controlling and VERY DANGEROUS! Please DO get away from him! There are shelters that can help women in needs! PLEASE SEEK HELP AS SOON AS YOU POSSIBLY CAN! Keep us updated on your situation, ok? We DO want to know how things are going for you and if things are getting ANY BETTER FOR YOU and if there's ANYTHING AT ALL that we can do to HELP YOU OUT! WE'LL TRY TO DO OUR BEST TO HELP YOU OUT! WE'LL ALWAYS BE HERE FOR YOU! AND WE'LL NEVER ABANDON YOU! Don't worry, we'll NEVER JUDGE YOU! I PROMISE YOU ALL OF THAT BECAUSE IT IS TRUE! PLEASE REMEMBER ALL OF THAT AS MUCH AS YOU POSSIBLY CAN BECAUSE IT IS TRUE! Sending many hugs to you, Confused1991!

[Bill3]

I agree with Mickey that speaking to a lawyer, or to someone at a shelter or women’s group, are good ideas for figuring out what to do next.

[sarahsweets]

What about staying with the person you are having the affair with?

[metalchick]

Sorry you are going through this, but get out now!!!. I am in the same situation except we are not married. Keeps telling me he is going to take the children from me everytime he doesn't like what I have to say. It's been over four years of him saying that, and it doesn't get any easier. Its worse everyday.

So sorry you are going through this Confused1991 No wonder you were drawn to someone new! Your husband is abusive toward you. It is not your fault and you do not deserve it. I agree with the other folks who recommended a lawyer consult and organizations who offer shelter and services to women and children dealing with abusive men.

No judgment from us here. We are sorry you are in such pain and want you to feel better. You deserve to feel happy and safe. Try to get some active help in your area. And since you are in a very vulnerable place right now, just keep a little voice in mind reminding you that you and your children are the priority....hard to safely start a new relationship while healing from abuse. I'm not telling you what to do by any means, just a caring tip from someone who has been there. Peace and hope to you!

[Confused1991]

I am sorry to hear that this is such a difficult position to be in my thoughts are with you and I do trust that everything will work out the way t should

are you ready to leave & end the relationship? leaving is a giant step. especially with kids involved. not something to consider lightly.

there are safe houses in every county , area for abused women. contact your local PD for help. you won't be able to take everything you own but you will be able to get out.

you'll probably need to get a court ordered order of protection against your husband.

the big priority here should be keeping your kids and yourself SAFE not so much happy. if there is violence around safety is the first priority. contact your local PD for info on what steps/options are available. it will be difficult and huge but if you want to make the break then this is what you must do.