[Parva825]

Hey everyone,
I’m hoping to get some different points of view on a problem I’ve been having: my ex bf broke up with me about 6 months ago after I found out he cheated on me. I didn’t want to break up but he gave me the option of being his friend or he would cut me out of his life. I really love him and I hoped we could work things out. But things just got worse; I couldn’t tell if he wanted me in his life or not. I chose to stay his friend because I still have feelings for him. After 6 months of being in this place, I still wanted to be back in a relationship with him. I was very confused as to how he felt about me. On one hand he called me names, made some pretty cruel comments about my mental stability, tell me I need to use drugs to relax, and would get very mad. On the other hand, he would also tell me he cared about me, kiss me on the forehead, and get upset if he found out I went out with another guy. I decided I didn’t want to be in this confusion anymore. I love him and want to be in his life but it was hurting me too much when I just wanted something different than he did. So I told him this and how blocked my number. I’m just worried I hurt him in some way and I feel terrible. I’m trying to do what I think is best for me. I know this was long, but if anybody can offer any feedback I’d appreciate it.

[sarahsweets]

Its good that he blocked your number. Now you can heal. This was an abusive situation and if he cared about you he wouldnt have treated you that way.

Originally Posted by Parva825

Hey everyone,
I’m hoping to get some different points of view on a problem I’ve been having: my ex bf broke up with me about 6 months ago after I found out he cheated on me. I didn’t want to break up but he gave me the option of being his friend or he would cut me out of his life. I really love him and I hoped we could work things out. But things just got worse; I couldn’t tell if he wanted me in his life or not. I chose to stay his friend because I still have feelings for him. After 6 months of being in this place, I still wanted to be back in a relationship with him. I was very confused as to how he felt about me. On one hand he called me names, made some pretty cruel comments about my mental stability, tell me I need to use drugs to relax, and would get very mad. On the other hand, he would also tell me he cared about me, kiss me on the forehead, and get upset if he found out I went out with another guy. I decided I didn’t want to be in this confusion anymore. I love him and want to be in his life but it was hurting me too much when I just wanted something different than he did. So I told him this and how blocked my number. I’m just worried I hurt him in some way and I feel terrible. I’m trying to do what I think is best for me. I know this was long, but if anybody can offer any feedback I’d appreciate it.

Bravo Parva825! You are on the right track. You are no longer in an abusive relationship and you are putting your needs first. Not that it isn't painful but you will heal in time. Do not worry about his feelings. He is responsible for his own feelings as you are responsible for yours. You have a bright future ahead. You left the darkness behind. Give yourself major props and start working on the future you want. If you are struggling, ask a kind and experienced therapist for some help. Peace and hope to you. You deserve it!!! And you are a LOT stronger than you realize!

[~Christina]

Blocking him was the best and one of the most important decision you have made.

He did not have any respect for you and if there’s no respect then there is no relationship not even a friendship is possible.

Allow yourself to grieve the loss and move forward.

[hvert]

In the long run, what you did was the best for *both* of you. That confusion is not a healthy place to be. He needs to get over you as much as you need to get over him. I hope it gets easier as time goes by.

Best to cut ties with this person and not be in an abusive situation, which is what it was. Don't worry about hurting him... he was cruel and therefore, boundaries must be established. Now he can no longer hurt you.

[MickeyCheeky]

You did the right thing, Parva825! Definitely allow yourself to grieve this loss! You can start healing now like all the other wise, wonderful posters have already wisely said better than I ever could! You have a bright future ahead of you! Sending many safe, wamr hugs to you, Parva825!