I ran into two old college friends last night at a concert. One is an ex boyfriend. One is a former good friend with whom I lived in college, then years later, had a bad falling out.

It was awkward as hell seeing them. The ex seemed very awkward towards me and it was difficult to carry a conversation. We were never awkward as ex's and were always friendly after we broke up. He is now married with kids and my husband was there with me.

My former friend was also very awkward towards me, but we had made peace after our falling out. I had great difficulty talking to her as well.

My other friend, Angela, was there and I worried that she had told them about my hospitalization five years ago and my mental breakdown. I fear that she did tell them and that that's why they were very strange towards me.

I don't know if this is the case, but I know Angela told most our friends about my breakdown, even though I had said keep it quiet.

Now I have the worst feeling. Brought right back to adolescence where I felt awkward in my own skin.

And I babbled to both of them, making it even worse feeling.

I hate this. I wish we hadn't run into them. I am an adult for crying out loud.

I guess what feels awful is thinking that they may know about my hospitalization/mental breakdown, and felt awkward around me as a result.

It was the MOST socially uncomfortable situation I've been in, in a long time. UGH.

I guess I gotta chalk this one up to AWKWARD situation with old friends, and I'd rather not run into them again. I don't even like that crowd anymore. I let them go a long time ago. Why should I feel bad for a breakdown I had five years ago anyways? IF they judge me for that, then they're really not my friends.... they never really were.

[divine1966]

If you don’t really see or talk to these friends on a regular basis, I think awkwardness is due to that. Also you had a falling out so it’s obviously awkward now. I doubt anyone cares that you were hospitalized 5 years ago or judges that. I don’t think people give it much thought. If they do though, then it’s their issue, not yours

Originally Posted by divine1966

If you don’t really see or talk to these friends on a regular basis, I think awkwardness is due to that. Also you had a falling out so it’s obviously awkward now. I doubt anyone cares that you were hospitalized 5 years ago or judges that. I don’t think people give it much thought. If they do though, then it’s their issue, not yours

Thanks, Divine. It's hard to know where the awkwardness came from.

I guess the bottom line is: I don't feel comfortable around them, so I won't be hanging out with that crew again.

[divine1966]

Originally Posted by golden_eve

Thanks, Divine. It's hard to know where the awkwardness came from.

I guess the bottom line is: I don't feel comfortable around them, so I won't be hanging out with that crew again.

Good idea!!!

[seesaw]

Originally Posted by golden_eve

I guess I gotta chalk this one up to AWKWARD situation with old friends, and I'd rather not run into them again. I don't even like that crowd anymore. I let them go a long time ago. Why should I feel bad for a breakdown I had five years ago anyways? IF they judge me for that, then they're really not my friends.... they never really were.

Why should you feel bad ever for being sick? You were sick. Doesn't matter what kind of sickness. You didn't cause it to yourself. We don't make ourselves have MI. If your friends are judging you for an illness, any kind, then they aren't friends, and I hope they never have to go through serious illness themselves.

Like we somehow chose this?