[Discombobulated]

Experiences good or bad?

I have procrastinated around this and finally joined the site but had a look around it and tbh feeling a bit overwhelmed. There are so many and some of them are so specific and a few quite exclusive (niche hobbies and professionals).

I guess I just want to meet some nice people, but not specifically a hobby, and it will have to be women only because my husband gets jealous if I spend time with other men. I noticed there are a few women only groups so I am trying to pluck up courage to go - but I am nervous.

I don't exactly have full blown social anxiety but over the last few years have lost more and more social connections and feeling a loss of confidence because of this. I find the whole idea of approaching a group of strangers worrying and a bit scary.

[Lilly2]

One of my neighbors from the old state I used to live in has been leading some meetin and meetup groups for years. He is really kind and protective. I've met some nice people there, some of which are my friends. I've maintained contact only with those few whom I've grown close to. We're not close friends or anything, but we're close enough to reach out for support for things like job prospects, career goals, relationships issues, etc. We also talk about fun things, too, like where to eat, shop, hang out, etc. It's a great mix when you find a safe group.

I'd say, proceed with caution. Some groups might be safer than others.

[Discombobulated]

Thanks I appreciate your sharing your own experience.

Is it okay to ask what sort of groups you joined (if that is not too personal a question?)

I talked it over with my husband and he said it was a good idea but may be embarrassing if I bumped into someone I already knew. I hadn't really thought of that but I suppose it might be!

He says to try it and if I don't like it then not to go back - it sounds simple enough but at the moment I am feeling anxious so it isn't quite so simple.

I worry too that I will be ignored/no one will click with me.

[Lilly2]

I joined "cheap eats" initially, and then I worked my way up from there to "movie" nights, etc. @Discombobulated I generally looked at local venues, not national, because they were easier to attend.

If you're not in the USA, then I'd look at venues by region, if that's how it is set up. Find the nearest events closest to you and see what events you find interesting or most comfortable. Cheap eats include affordable meals at casual restaurants, and they typically don't involve alcohol, so it's a short visit to meet new people for about an hour, give or take.

Movie nights are either held at someone's house or at a theater. There's more interaction at a house than a theater, so it is up to you which venue would be easier to attend first.

There are also some active events like hiking, sailing, skiing, running, exercizing, etc.

Then there are some events that may not be the best to attend if you're dealing with social anxiety - at least not at first. Those include bar events, parties that serve alcohol, dancing events, weekend retreats, vacation-long events, and some other questionable events. For those kinds of events, it's best to know someone well who will go with you to one of those events, and it's best that you know a few people who have went to those events before.

For newer groups, proceed with caution. For longstanding groups, they're a little safer because they've been in operation for a while and have a following.

Hope these tips help.

[Lilly2]

Oh, yeah, they might also have couples get-togethers or even family events. I'd still proceed with caution and look for the longstanding groups, as opposed to the brand new ones. I'm single, so I didn't pay much attention to those groups. It might be worth asking your husband about these, too.