[RDMercer]

I'm reading Gottmans stuff on the four horsemen. I know I stonewall.

My wife has a topic that angers her, which is we (she) had little contact from my family during a prolonged illness. We've been on this topic, literally, for two years. I've spoken to them, and so has she. Her anger at them comes out at me about once a month, and she gets very derogatory in her language with me. At some point I say, "I can't do this. I can't hear this stuff said about me anymore. I'm walking away. "

I will then refuse to speak about that topic. The next it comes up, her anger flares, and I back out of it. I've begun marking the time, and after an hour I'll make a move to leave.

She's not going to change this. But I have my.limits.

Ideas?

[gayleggg]

Maybe journaling would be helpful at these times. I know it has helped me through the years. There is something about putting your feelings on paper, actually, I use an electronic journal, but some say that is not as helpful as is pen & paper. I hope you give it a try.


One thing it did for me was to be reassuring when I stared to doubt my preception of the past.

[WishfulThinker66]

I don't understand. Can you explain what a belief in an apocalypse has to do with relationships? Call me a Luddite because I don't get it.

[Open Eyes]

What has your family have to do with her prolonged illness? What did she expect from them?

[~Christina]

You say this happens every month??

Why has this situation been going on so long? Do you always listen to it for a certain amount of time every time then shut down ?