[kashmere]

Hi everyone,

First of all, I’m typing this today because this has been going on for a little while now and my partner and I both agree that it’s an issue.

We have been together for about seven months, but we’ve known each other for more than five years. We are very serious about each other and plan to get married and have our own family, etc. He doesn’t do anything wrong so I don’t understand why this happens.

The issue is, about once a month (not necessarily near the time of PMS and menstruation) I change. I start to have different viewpoints and interests even though it might be something I don’t have to do or wasn’t interested in beforehand. What then follows is a feeling of blankness, like I have fallen into a mental stupor. When he speaks to me, it’s hard for me to focus and I can only think about the viewpoint or interest I brought up in the first place. It literally feels like my mind is blank and empty and I have absolutely no words to share with him. However, usually the words I do muster up are cold and heartless and unlike me. It is very frustrating on both of our ends.

Sometimes when it happens, I can barely remember some of the words I said and I find myself shocked that I said certain things to him. He ends up hurt and I end up confused at my own actions/words and end up crying that I would say such things to him. It feels like I am not myself when those instances occur. Could this be bipolar disorder?

Note: This only started a few months ago after my school had to be put on lockdown after a series of fights (one of which happened in front of me). I think this was a trigger to what I have described above because I left school feeling different, empty and blank.

Another thing I want to mention is how I have a daily schedule and usually the activity is planned to start at the beginning of the hour, exactly at the middle of the hour or at the end. Usually I prepare to start the activity at least five minutes before so I can start on the dot. However, I find it very, very frustrating when I don’t start the activity at the planned time and it makes me stressed and start to cry. My partner asked me if I feel a strong urge to start the activity at a certain time and I said yes. Could this be OCD?

[~Christina]

It’s always best to rule out any physical illness before venturing to far into the land of mental illness for obvious reasons.

When was the last time you have had a full physical with complete labs ?

I’d start right there especially since you are noticing things happening as you cycle each month , it could easily be a hormonal issue, Thyroid can also cause strange behavior.

Not sure if your on a birth control pill but those can cause trouble too if your on the wrong one for you.

Hope you find some answers and are feeling better really soon.