Normal Grandparent Behavior?

aboverubies · Aug 31, 2019 at 08:19 AM

Throughout my pregnancy one of the grandmothers constantly had to make it known that she wanted a girl (already has grandson) and attempted to control everything even wanting to oversee every detail of baby shower. After baby was born (girl) and had to stay in hospital a few extra days after constantly telling grandmother we’d let her know once home when she could visit she still pushed to see baby in hospital. While visiting grandmother had to comment that her blood runs through baby’s veins. Week later after baby coming home and her visiting husband and I noticed behavior that was weird and that we didn’t like. Grandma would hold baby entire time to visit and when holding her would stare at her as if baby was hers. Any time husband or I would get close to baby to fix blanket or check her grandma would tighten her hold on baby and move baby away from us almost as if acting baby is hers and you’re taking her baby. I understand grandparents love their grandkids but I find this behavior weird and upsetting.

Mendingmysoul · Aug 31, 2019 at 11:30 AM

I don't want to scare you.But I have to tell you something about the grandparent isn't right.Keep an eye on her,specially when she is near the baby.

Whoaminoone · Aug 31, 2019 at 11:41 AM

I had a similar experience with my ex-mother-in-law with my first born (he’s now 24). In her case, her first born son had passed away at birth. She would call my son by her deceased sons name, would make comments about how she knew he would come back to her, and was caught attempting to breastfeed him. I know some grandparents can be overbearing, but this is obviously not normal behavior. I’m my case, she even contacted CPS stating she needed to adopt my son because she could take better care of him. My husband and I had to limit contact with her, and only allow supervised visits with one of us present. I hope you are able to find a better resolution in your situation. I don’t have any real advice, but wanted you to know you are not alone.

aboverubies · Aug 31, 2019 at 11:41 AM

I do get that intuition to keep eye on her. I know she regrets not having more kids but those things she does are unsettling

aboverubies · Aug 31, 2019 at 12:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Whoaminoone

I had a similar experience with my ex-mother-in-law with my first born (he’s now 24). In her case, her first born son had passed away at birth. She would call my son by her deceased sons name, would make comments about how she knew he would come back to her, and was caught attempting to breastfeed him. I know some grandparents can be overbearing, but this is obviously not normal behavior. I’m my case, she even contacted CPS stating she needed to adopt my son because she could take better care of him. My husband and I had to limit contact with her, and only allow supervised visits with one of us present. I hope you are able to find a better resolution in your situation. I don’t have any real advice, but wanted you to know you are not alone.

Thank you for sharing. Yes we confronted her because then after asking if we do a certain thing to our baby we said no so she went ahead and did it despite our no. So we told her she couldn’t overstep or usurp us she got offended and stopped talking to us as well as told the entire family that we were mean to her and caused my FIL to stop talking to us. So with time and seeing behavior and weird character towards our baby we cut ties.

Mendingmysoul · Aug 31, 2019 at 04:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by aboverubies

Thank you for sharing. Yes we confronted her because then after asking if we do a certain thing to our baby we said no so she went ahead and did it despite our no. So we told her she couldn’t overstep or usurp us she got offended and stopped talking to us as well as told the entire family that we were mean to her and caused my FIL to stop talking to us. So with time and seeing behavior and weird character towards our baby we cut ties.

She was definitely trying to cross the boundaries here.She was also dismissing your parental rights.She is definitely emotionally unhealthy.So brave of you to cut ties with her.And I applaud your husband for standing by your side.Not to scare you,but I still insist to keep watch on her.She sounds like a person who holds grudges.Be safe dear.

LiteraryLark · Sep 01, 2019 at 10:25 PM

Not sure what it could be, perhaps a form of dementia/alzheimer's/Parkinson's? I would proceed very cautiously with her. You don't want her "co-parenting" and at some point you may need to cut ties as awful as that sounds. It certainly isn't healthy.

WishfulThinker66 · Sep 02, 2019 at 05:23 PM

This isn't right.Limit the time this grandparent has with the baby, do not place it in their arms, and supervise anytime they spend with the child.

aboverubies · Sep 03, 2019 at 02:54 PM

Thank you everyone for your responses. This gives me peace that the behavior is indeed not normal and not that I’m overreacting.

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Normal Grandparent Behavior?

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Mendingmysoul Grand Member Member Since Aug 2019 Location: Here Posts: 907 5 807 hugs given	Aug 31, 2019 at 11:30 AM #2 I don't want to scare you.But I have to tell you something about the grandparent isn't right.Keep an eye on her,specially when she is near the baby.
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aboverubies New Member Member Since Aug 2019 Location: FL Posts: 4 5	Aug 31, 2019 at 11:41 AM #4 I do get that intuition to keep eye on her. I know she regrets not having more kids but those things she does are unsettling
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LiteraryLark Crowned "The Good Witch" Member Since Jun 2009 Location: Wonderland Posts: 11,536 (SuperPoster!) 15 1,318 hugs given	Sep 01, 2019 at 10:25 PM #7 Not sure what it could be, perhaps a form of dementia/alzheimer's/Parkinson's? I would proceed very cautiously with her. You don't want her "co-parenting" and at some point you may need to cut ties as awful as that sounds. It certainly isn't healthy.
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WishfulThinker66 Magnate Member Since Jun 2018 Location: Canada Posts: 2,285 6 117 hugs given	Sep 02, 2019 at 05:23 PM #8 This isn't right.Limit the time this grandparent has with the baby, do not place it in their arms, and supervise anytime they spend with the child.
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aboverubies New Member Member Since Aug 2019 Location: FL Posts: 4 5	Sep 03, 2019 at 02:54 PM #9 Thank you everyone for your responses. This gives me peace that the behavior is indeed not normal and not that I’m overreacting.
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