I deleted my OkCupid account. But this guy from had my phone number. We'd talked before through text but I felt uneasy and nervous to do the whole online dating thing once again. So I broke off communication.

He messaged me earlier this week. I was glad he did. We messaged a lot this week, had one brief phone convo (he's anxious over the phone), and went on a date irl today. It was very pleasant, and very awkward. He was very sweet, and anxious.

He's also asexual, and I am not. I'm not sure what that entails for him. But my sex drive is low due to my antidepressant. A few times through text, I said some light physically affectionate things (for instance, I told him I found his profession a turn on). He reacted by saying things I felt pushed me away. Kind of snarky. We talked though (through text) and he said he just made crappy jokes and was oblivious.

I do feel that I am anxious and get close quicker than I'd like in dating sometimes. It just kind of snowballs for me sometimes. I think real life dating is much better for,me than online and texting all the time. It gives this false feeling of closeness and familiarity. I much prefer talking about serious things too, irl or on the phone. Not in text. I do hope I didn't scare him away, but this is what happened:

This evening, he told me he was just hanging out w his cat. We were having a text convo, and I thought "maybe we could talk in person." So I brought it up. I mean, he lives close by me. Why text? He replied with "Aw." And never said a peep again. That was like 2 hrs ago. The conversation died.

I didn't say anything back because what kind of response is that? It hurt.

I am assuming we will never see each other again now. And while that may be for the best, I'm just confused about this dude and bummed. I feel I've been pretty direct and communicative w him and I'm not sure I'm getting that back?

We both agreed we enjoyed our date and wanted to do it again. So Idk. I feel weird about it now.

Also I have been very vocal about not wanting to make him uncomfortable. He has said I'm fine. Idk though. I'm not asking what happened. More just really bummed and disappointed.

Please don't judge me in responses. Thank you.

[astoldbyginger]

It sounds more to me like you dodged a bullet. Congrats. And, feeling more comfortable talking irl is a great thing, definitely better than texting. To truly know a person is to feel their energy upfront, watch how they interact with strangers, how they interact with family, friends etc. Texting relationships don't give you that. If it's that he has social anxiety hopefully he can come to terms with it and start to communicate better.

[TunedOut]

Originally Posted by WovenGalaxy

This evening, he told me he was just hanging out w his cat. We were having a text convo, and I thought "maybe we could talk in person." So I brought it up. I mean, he lives close by me. Why text? He replied with "Aw." And never said a peep again. That was like 2 hrs ago. The conversation died.

I didn't say anything back because what kind of response is that? It hurt.

I am assuming we will never see each other again now. And while that may be for the best, I'm just confused about this dude and bummed. I feel I've been pretty direct and communicative w him and I'm not sure I'm getting that back?

We both agreed we enjoyed our date and wanted to do it again. So Idk. I feel weird about it now.

Perhaps you feel weird because he is not a good fit for you? Whatever it is, just try to relax and wait and see. I overthink things way too much and perhaps this is what is going on with you. Confusion, feeling bummed, etc.--just feelings. Try to accept and understand them but remember--they are just feelings and sometimes we interpret too many things from what people have said. Many times, it is best to let men chase you at this point. I would let it die if he doesn't make an effort to chase you. It sounds like you are not sure he values/likes you enough so try to let it go unless you start getting another signal. Right now, your feelings are saying it's not going to work. Dating is awkward.

Hi astoldbyginger and tuned out,

Thank you for your support and I agree.

I've already decided he's not right for me. I was just feeling very bummed out about it last night.

Also I don't know if I said this in my op, but he seemed interested because he constantly texted me and after our date he said he enjoyed himself and we should do it again.

Before we met, he wanted to be FB friends, but I declined in case it didn't work out.

I was just so bummed and disappointed and frustrated by his behavior. But you're right. He is not sure and I'm not going to spend anymore time on this. (Honestly, I wasn't feeling so sure myself).