Something that randomly came up last night

This happened 13-14 years ago, I randomly remembered it last night and I have no idea why. It made me feel a bit low. Thought I'd get it out here:

At Christmas I bought someone a thoughtful gift, it was related to something they had mentioned. I thought they would really appreciated this. But they didn't they laughed and made fun of me and said "Why did you buy me this for?" I tried to explain but they just kept laughing. Everyone else there started laughing with them too. I could feel my face going red, I was so embarrassed.

I stood up, snatched the item from their hand and said "Fine! if you don't want it, I'll keep it for myself!" Then I got told off for being "in a mood". At that point I made the decision to never buy anyone anything like that ever again. From that point on I've always just given them money (can never go wrong with money) or made them choose their own things and bought them, or givem them the money for them.

I just wonder why people are like this. Or did I go too far that time? Trying to help never seems to work for me.

I can relate to this. One year i bought a household gift for each extended family household, like ten of them. It was a bathtub cleaner with a long handle. Wrapped, you couldnt guess what it was - it looked like a weirdly bent fruit picker, maybe? Idk. Anyway, i had just started using one, so i figured all my old aunties and uncles would appreciate it, if they werent already using one. Plus just a fun stocking stuffer, right? My mother was horrified and embarrassed, beyond all reason. That ruined xmas for me ever after too.

I went through SO MUCH trouble one Christmas Eve, ( I’m a late shopper ) , to find something to get my wife. This was 20 years ago. I was sure she would love this earring and necklace set that I thought was beautiful and very expensive. Well guess what. She didn’t like it and I had to return it. From that day on I never bought her a gift that she didn’t actually TELL me she wanted. I think someone refusing a gift , even if they don’t like it is very rude. I’ve gotten so much cheap crap over the years as gifts that were horrible but I never embarrassed the gift giver.

I started bakinv for people for Christmas when I was in college. I was working to put myself through scool and dead broke. People seemed to like and appreciate what I made. Then one year my sister-in-law told me the only reason I baked was because I was too cheap to buy gifts. Let me tell you she never got another dam cookie from me!

I agree with Continuously Blue, gifts should be accepted with grace, even if you hate the item.

Boy people really hate gifts from the heart. Maybe they have no place to put them?

Quote:

Originally Posted by unaluna Boy people really hate gifts from the heart. Maybe they have no place to put them?

You might ve on to something unaluna

People are rude and selfish in this world. There is zero etiquette--people don't even know what it is. They have no manners It's just not a priority. How can you be polite and thoughtful when the only thing you care about is how many likes you have on Instagram?

Thanks for all of your responses, seems I'm not alone in this.

This happened to me one year when I decided to make Christmas cards for people. Got told it was a cheap way out instead of buying them! Do they not realise that the materials cost money too? And that it takes time and effort to make them? No, they prefer a mass produced piece of cardboard for 99p.

When I was very young, maybe ten years old?, I bought my mother some scented soaps in a little basket. I thought they were lovely and she would really like them.

But no.

She screamed at me and asked me if I thought she was dirty.

no, you are not alone...

I am so sorry ---- as a mother/grandmother I cannot imagine not loving anything a child would give me, it sounds like your mother was not a well person.

@winter4me: Thank you so much for your kind words.

I agree with your assessment: I now see her as having had narcissistic personality disorder and severe alcohol use disorder. At the time, though, and for many years after, I didn’t have that insight...

Unfortunately, insight doesn't lessen the pain felt by the child...it's the kind of parent-child interaction that is devastating. (((((((((((((((hug))))))))))))))))))

Seems that this a common thing.

Unfortunately.