[zapatoes]

Realized past few weeks I need to work on my communication and have known that for sometime, but want to make more friends and date some. Recently, I avoided interacting with someone and I should have interacted politely, but directly and I just avoided them. The person was not my type as they think it’s ok to aggressively pursue someone. For example, the person met me once a few years ago and this was briefly with hi, what’s your name and what do you do. So the person texts me on meetup and asks me are you going to this event and I answers no, I’m on vacation then, and the person is nosy, and asks where are you going. Later I message them some as a friend and the person says let’s text by phone. I do not want the person to have my phone # so I blow them off and don’t go back to the meetup.

Now looking back I feel I should have said in text no I don’t give my phone # out and we can text on meetup. If the person would have asked me out eventually, I would have to say you are great person, but no chemistry or just like you as friend or would love to fib and say I have a boyfriend.

[Yzen]

I think conversations are more difficult when you feel a boundary is being crossed....like someone trying to get your phone number. You have to remind yourself that you have a right to refuse a request if it doesn't feel right. Politely refusing and offering an alternative you are comfortable with seems like the right approach. .

[zapatoes]

Originally Posted by Yzen

I think conversations are more difficult when you feel a boundary is being crossed....like someone trying to get your phone number. You have to remind yourself that you have a right to refuse a request if it doesn't feel right. Politely refusing and offering an alternative you are comfortable with seems like the right approach. .

Thank you and yes this is true and in the future I want to respond directly and politely refuse and not avoid the person.

[bpcyclist]

Yes, I think being direct is almost always the best approach.