Relationship dilemma - what would you do??

Hi there, all my love to you x

Well.. I'm dating a man. We had a lovely week and weekend, spending every day together (it was great!!) But today, unfortunately he'd been waiting in his car for 20 minutes for me.. now, I had no idea - I thought he was still in traffic. So I took my time. If he had told me he was here and waiting, I would have ran to him and rushed instead. (He picks me up at the bottom of my street, I couldn't look out the window)

When I got in the car, happy to finally see him, he completely blanked me, didn't look at me and rolled his eyes every time I tried talking to him.. I really wanted to go home because I felt like a pest.

I finally asked him what was the matter and he said he was waiting for an apology for keeping him waiting.. only then do I learn he'd been out there for 20 minutes (allegedly)

I'm really confused. I'm upset because I didn't know I did anything wrong and was looking forward to seeing him only to have one really unpleasant heated evening. Also.. angry at the way he handled it - the passive aggressiveness and body language. It all made me feel really bad. What would you have done??

It sounds like your date needs to familiarize himself with the concept of Don't Sweat The Small Stuff. I'm sure he's a terrific guy, but his reaction seems petty to me. It has me wondering: how's he going to react when something really significant happens?

Yeah, I agree with BOTH you and the WISE AND WONDERFUL @bpcyclist that it was rather unnecessary of him to act like that, @eclairparty98. Perhaps talk to him about ALL OF THIS and see how it goes from there and what he has to say. You don't need to confront him about it, but just tell him that you were honestly hurt by his behavior and that you didn't let him wait on purpose of course! Keep us updated if you wish and feel free to PM me, or ANYONE here like the WISE AND WONDERFUL @bpcyclist and EVERYONE ELSE HERE, AANYTIME YOU WANT TO DO THAT AND ANYTIME YOU NEED ADVICE AND SUPPORT OR EVEN SIMPLY SOME WONDERFUL ADVICE AND SUPPORT AS MUCH AS YOU POSSIBLY CAN AND NEED TO LIKE YOU'RE ALREADY WONDERFULLY DOING ALL AND ENTIRELY BY YOURSELF AND ALL AND ENTIRELY ON YOUR OWN NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS! WE'LL TRY TO BE HERE FOR YOU AS MUCH AS WE POSSIBLY CAN! I PROMISE YOU THAT! THAT'S A PROMISE! YOU CAN REST ASSURED OF THAT! Sending many safe, warm hugs to BOTH you and your boyfriend, @eclairparty98, your family, your friends, your Therapists, your Pdocs and ALL of your Loved Ones! KEEP FIGHTING AND KEEP ROCKING AS MUCH AS YOU POSSIBLY CAN LIKE YOU'RE ALREADY WONDERFULLY DOING ALL AND ENTIRELY BY YOURSELF AND ALL AND ENTIRELY ON YOUR OWN NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS! PLEASE NEVER EVER EVER EVER EVER GIVE UP HOPE AS MUCH AS YOU POSSIBLY CAN LIKE YOU'RE ALREADY WISELY AND WONDERFULLY DOING ALL AND ENTIRELY BY YOURSELF AND ALL AND ENTIRELY ON YOUR OWN NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS, OK? WE ALL BELIEVE IN YOU AND WE'RE ALL ROOTING FOR YOU! THAT'S ALL AND EVERYTHING ABSOLUTELY AND UNDENIABLY TRUE AND YOU KNOW ALL OF THAT AND EVERYTHING OF THAT IS ABSOLUTELY AND UNDENIABLY TRUE AS WELL EVEN IF IT'S DEEP DOWN INSIDE YOU! I PROMISE YOU THAT! THAT'S A PROMISE! YOU CAN REST ASSURED OF THAT! KEEP FIGHTING AND KEEP ROCKING AS MUCH AS YOU POSSIBLY CAN LIKE YOU'RE ALREADY WONDERFULLY DOING ALL AND ENTIRELY BY YOURSELF AND ALL AND ENTIRELY ON YOUR OWN NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS!

Did he text you when he arrived but you missed the text? That happens with me and my friends sometimes.

But there is no excuse for his ensuing behavior. He either makes it up to you because he realizes he was wrong, and never acts like that again, or you drop him. Or else you will be putting up with his childishness forever.

"Next" him....

Personally, and this is just me mind you... I would have told him in the moment that I didn't know he was waiting that long and ask him "why didn't you text or call or something if you were here already?" (Assuming he did neither of those of course, because you didn't mention that he had.) I don't like passive aggressive BS and him acting that way is awful childish, I always call people out on it if I catch it (but my social retardation does not let me catch it as often as I would like). Maybe he was having a bad day or something, who knows, but you are absolutely not at fault if he didn't give you notice and he should not be taking his bad mood out on you.

Thank you so much for your kind and loving first words!

This revealing incident gave valuable insight into how he acts under negative circumstances. So angry, cold, uncharitable, and unwilling to let things go. He can be lovely, but he can also be disrespectful, unforgiving, and cruel.

I’d steer clear of him.

Red flag!

WOW, thank you all so much for the kind supportive responses, I was really anxious as to whether I genuinely did something awful without realising!! bpcyclist, you are so right, I thought the exact same thing!! Don't sweat the small stuff, appreciate the time we have and enjoy life as much as we can..

MickeyCheeky, you're lovely as always, thank you for your beautiful words, you keep rocking too!! Big hugs to you and your loved ones, always unfortunately my boyfriend wasn't very understanding and we had a horrible argument.. he says I should've apologised for disrespecting him but I didn't (initially, when I got in the car because I didn't know i did anything wrong!!)

unaluna and ShadowGx, there was no text.. I'm gonna take your advice, see if we can learn from this but if not, I can't continue seeing him. Thank you

Bill3 you are most welcome, my friend - big hugs to you that's true , this strange overreaction over a really silly misunderstanding is very telling.. it's certainly given me a lot of doubts regarding the future of our relationship.. ahh well. Thanks for your support

Thank you all, again all my love to you all, I hope everyone is okay!!

Trust yourself...