[Disney2019]

It started this morning and it has been a downward spiral..it doesn’t help that I didn’t get a lot of sleep due to insomnia..I was calling him and hounding him by text..until he finally told me he was busy at work so I made sure I backed off..but i know this behavior makes him pull back like the rubber band effect..as hard as it is, I am going to give him some space and let HIM contact me..my emotions were so crazy today, I’m surprised he even wants to talk to me still!!!

[bpcyclist]

Have you ever tried to set up some sort of your own system of checks on this whole thing? Like, for example, what if you agreed with yourself that every time you feel the compulsion to text or call him, you make yourself wait for , I don't know, say, five minutes? Make it a hard rule. You have to wait five minutes. Then, if you still feel it is a requirement for you to go ahead, I guess you could go ahead. But if, during that five-minute interval, you asked yourself, 'Why do I feel this emergency need to text/call him right now? Is it really an emergency? If so, what exactly is that emergency? Or is this more about me and therefore, not really an emergency need to contact him right at this moment?'

I don't know, I'm just wondering if maybe you sort of force yourself into a few moments of reflection when this urge hits you, that might give you a shot at reducing the number of times you text/call. Just a thought.

Does your therapist or pdoc understand how debilitating this has become for you?

Hang in there. There is help for you . You just have to figure out what that looks like.

[~Christina]

^^^^^ ^^^^^^

[divine1966]

I dare to say that the issue maybe isn’t you being clingy but your relationship is not being right.

Usually people are anxious and insecure and needy in relationships because relationship isn’t going the right direction and a partner is not fully commited to you or just feeds you crumbs leaving you unsatisfied and not 100% secure.

So I am wondering if you should look into possibly real issue such as is this life long happily ever after relationship with this man being heads over hills crazy for you or not?

PC I saw in your other post that he wouldn’t talk to you sometimes a day or two. That’s ok if you just met a person but if you two are considering each other boyfriend and girlfriend why is he not feeling a need to at least briefly contact you daily? Perhaps this lack of interest on his part is what causing you feeling clingy. I’d sit him down and ask what he thinks of this relationship. Is it serious? Casual? Is he seeing others?

[LilyMop]

Originally Posted by divine1966

I dare to say that the issue maybe isn’t you being clingy but your relationship is not being right.


Usually people are anxious and insecure and needy in relationships because relationship isn’t going the right direction and a partner is not fully commited to you or just feeds you crumbs leaving you unsatisfied and not 100% secure.


So I am wondering if you should look into possibly real issue such as is this life long happily ever after relationship with this man being heads over hills crazy for you or not?


PC I saw in your other post that he wouldn’t talk to you sometimes a day or two. That’s ok if you just met a person but if you two are considering each other boyfriend and girlfriend why is he not feeling a need to at least briefly contact you daily? Perhaps this lack of interest on his part is what causing you feeling clingy. I’d sit him down and ask what he thinks of this relationship. Is it serious? Casual? Is he seeing others?

I think this makes sense.

[Disney2019]

Originally Posted by divine1966

I dare to say that the issue maybe isn’t you being clingy but your relationship is not being right.

Usually people are anxious and insecure and needy in relationships because relationship isn’t going the right direction and a partner is not fully commited to you or just feeds you crumbs leaving you unsatisfied and not 100% secure.

So I am wondering if you should look into possibly real issue such as is this life long happily ever after relationship with this man being heads over hills crazy for you or not?

PC I saw in your other post that he wouldn’t talk to you sometimes a day or two. That’s ok if you just met a person but if you two are considering each other boyfriend and girlfriend why is he not feeling a need to at least briefly contact you daily? Perhaps this lack of interest on his part is what causing you feeling clingy. I’d sit him down and ask what he thinks of this relationship. Is it serious? Casual? Is he seeing others?

I have to agree with you..I thought he should be as excited to talk to me as I am..here it is Saturday and I haven’t heard a peep and I’m NOT reaching out. I have plans tonight, so I’m not giving him my attention

[divine1966]

Originally Posted by Disney2019

I have to agree with you..I thought he should be as excited to talk to me as I am..here it is Saturday and I haven’t heard a peep and I’m NOT reaching out. I have plans tonight, so I’m not giving him my attention

Not telling you what to do but I wonder if you should keep seeing other people (just go on dates), you only dated few months and he likely is not the one.

Unless he works 12 hours shift on Saturday not contacting you and not making plans to spend time with you isn’t a good sign.

I’d not waste my time. I am glad you have plans. Get yourself busy with friends and hobbies and possibly date other people. You aren’t engaged or married so as long as you are up front about it no need to commit to this guy too early

[Disney2019]

You are right...he made some hurtful comments to me tonight..although I know he is just clueless..I am hurt by what he said...If he cared about me he wouldn’t have made the comments he did...so I’ll keep dating..even if it takes 10 dates...I’ll find the right one some day...god willing