[Tammy112]

Hi, wondered if you could all help me, I found out my husband took his wedding ring off on a night out recently (I saw a photo!) I questioned him and he denied it but later admitted it saying he felt down so wanted to have some fun! I’m 50/50 whether to divorce him as feel I shouldn’t be treated like this but difficult with 2 young kids. Please could you tell me what you’d do? Divorce?

Thanks in advance! Ps any helpful comments would be great!

[bpforever1]

Looking from the other side of your situation, please don't divorce your husband over this. Your kids need you and him. I've met men who want affairs and tell them to leave me alone when they tell me about their wives and kids. Most women don't want baggage either. You will get over this and be ok.

That is hurtful. Did he do anything with anyone? That wasn't clear to me in your post. Regardless, it sounds like he was flirting w women at least. I'm so sorry I don't have much advice but I'd be thinking about divorce too. How is your marriage otherwise?

[Skeezyks]

Hello Tammy: I see this is your first post here on PC. So... welcome to Psych Central.

You wrote your husband took his wedding ring off one night because he said he felt down & wanted to have some fun. So you're wondering if you should divorce him. I guess what I'm wondering is if there is perhaps more to this than that. What I can tell you is that I'm an old codger. My wife & I have been married for 40 years. And to make it that long in a marriage requires an ocean liner's worth of compassion & forgiveness. If this one incident is the only stumbling block you & your hubby have encountered in your marriage I would say, in general, you're doing pretty darn well.

Of course I don't know exactly what your husband did when he went out. I assume it was not a serious betrayal. Yes what your husband did was certainly ill-considered. (Hopefully he's learned his lesson.) But, unless there is more to this than what you wrote in your post, my personal opinion would be considering divorce over this one incident is extreme.

Perhaps what is called for here is some marriage counseling for the two of you & perhaps some individual counseling or therapy for your husband. His "feeling down" could be a sign of some underlying depression. (If your husband isn't open to these options that may indeed be a bad sign.) Here are links to 9 articles, from Psych Central's archives, that (hopefully) may be of help as you consider how to proceed:

9 Steps to Better Communication Today

Your Partner Cheated; Now What! | Surviving Infidelity

Can Your Relationship Survive After Cheating?

7 Reasons to Seek Marriage Counseling

5 Times Couples Counseling Could Be the Best Option

https://psychcentral.com/blog/answer...es-counseling/

https://psychcentral.com/lib/when-an...les-therapist/

https://psychcentral.com/lib/how-to-...dium=popular17

https://psychcentral.com/blog/are-yo...ourself/?all=1

I hope you find PC to be of benefit.

[bpcyclist]

I guess I would be wondering just exactly what your husband's definition of 'fun' is. That kinda has me concerned, TBH.

[~Christina]

I would have a huge problem with this !

How is your marriage in general ?

[Crazy Hitch]

He went looking for trouble. It’s an indicator that there are some major issues in your marriage - and prior to him going out without the ring on

[divine1966]

Simply forgetting or not wearing a ring is not a bit deal. My husband doesn’t wear a ring to work because he is afraid to hurt a patient. I sometimes don’t wear a ring because I am afraid to lose or damage it, like gym. Sometimes I forget to put a ring on as I take it off before shower.

However we mostly certainly don’t do it to go have fun pretending to be single.

It likely indicates that your husband is unfaithful or about to become one.. Check for STDs and don’t have unprotected sex with him as it’s possibly not the first time

[TishaBuv]

Hi Tammy, and welcome to PC!

I agree marriage counseling is definitely in order to come first before jumping right to divorce, and also the idea that likely more has happened between you two that makes you think of going straight to divorce.

His taking off his ring to have some fun is a huge red flag, and you are wise to bring this to a head. Therapy will either solve your issues or end a bad marriage.

I agree, he may already be unfaithful and you should take precautions to safeguard yourself from possible STDs.

[downandlonely]

The idea of "having some fun" would have me concerned too, but I don't think I would divorce a man after one incident. Now, if he has actually had an affair or even a one night stand, I think that would be a different story.

My Dad lost his wedding ring a long time ago and never wears it. But I don't think he's doing it to "have fun"

[Open Eyes]

Often the core reason for this is seeking out an experience that might boost one's personal self esteem. Going out without any signs of ties and seeing if someone will pursue him and tell him how attractive he is and in some way desirable. This is about his own ego and not something he will be able to adequately explain to you so he will most likely want to avoid discussing it and act like it's nothing. Some men have a hard time when their wife's attention isn't all about them anymore and she is paying attention to their children and is busier. This is a clue he is attention seeking.

How old is your husband and how long have you been married?

[Buffy01]

Originally Posted by Tammy112

Hi, wondered if you could all help me, I found out my husband took his wedding ring off on a night out recently (I saw a photo!) I questioned him and he denied it but later admitted it saying he felt down so wanted to have some fun! I’m 50/50 whether to divorce him as feel I shouldn’t be treated like this but difficult with 2 young kids. Please could you tell me what you’d do? Divorce?

Thanks in advance! Ps any helpful comments would be great!

I'm sorry to hear that. Are you sure his finger wasn't bothering him or he didn't want to be robbed of his jewelry? Without knowing much on the situation I don't know how to help.

[Buffy01]

Originally Posted by bpforever1

Looking from the other side of your situation, please don't divorce your husband over this. Your kids need you and him. I've met men who want affairs and tell them to leave me alone when they tell me about their wives and kids. Most women don't want baggage either. You will get over this and be ok.

That is great advice I wish that I had that thought about that myself.

[Bobspace]

I don’t think it’s right that he did that. And hopefully he really did not do anything. I definitely do not think it’s enough to divorce him for it. Maybe you can give him the things he’s looking for instead of him going out for it. Hope things work out.

[~Christina]

Originally Posted by Bobspace

I don’t think it’s right that he did that. And hopefully he really did not do anything. I definitely do not think it’s enough to divorce him for it. Maybe you can give him the things he’s looking for instead of him going out for it. Hope things work out.

So your saying she isn’t giving him what he needs within the marriage ?? Generally if a man takes off his wedding ring to have some fun its going to be something wrong, any man can flirt wearing a ring.

Let’s not assume his wife isn’t giving him what “he needs “

Since the OP hasn’t come back and responded to questions as to how there marriage is in general we are just able to respond to what she posted.