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Old Dec 25, 2019, 08:23 AM
Anonymous45521
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Since I moved into my house I was friendly with a neighbor. We have a lot in common. She is in my profession..., she takes my train into work, and she loves cats.. as I do. I had her on my facebook page. I have always felt strange around her. She reaches out to be my friend but she has a sister who lives in our community. I don't like her sister. But also it is easy for her to reach out because she has a sister who lives next door to take care of her needs. I feel like I need a friend... to help me out.. not someone who is more work.

Last xmas she actually baked cookies and left them for everyone in the building. Which is super nice. Though it is my policy never to eat food given to me by others so I threw them out.

At the last condo annual meeting however, I was furious with her. She came in and complained insanely about the fact that she didn't have perfect grass around her condo. It was insane and I was furious with her because it was childish in the face of all the things that other's need. We actually did have a plan to take care of the grass but it would take about a year (mostly because this was the best time to plant grass) and she wouldn't even be patient. Her sister said it was disrespectful of the board not to do it, and it was everything I could do not to let them have it. What is disrespectful is people who refuse to serve on the board coming in and acting like they are 4 and didn't get their ice cream.

I immediately unfriended her. Personally I don't want to be her friend anymore. I think she is spoiled and wants to bully people into doing her bidding with other people's money.

But ever since she is my BFF. She also just dropped off cookies and a Christmas card again. She always tries to talk to me as if we re buddies but from my face she should know it is over.. and I no longer trust her.

You might think she is angling for the grass but the grass cannot be planted any earlier than we plan to do it.

I mean, I just don't understand her. Just stop bothering me if you aren't going to be my friend. I mean what do you want?

I think my problem is that I never do tell people off.

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  #2  
Old Dec 25, 2019, 09:58 AM
LilyMop's Avatar
LilyMop LilyMop is offline
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Is it possible she was making an honest gesture to be kind? The cookies and card might be a peace offering. Can you accept just a little bit of friendship from her even if she can’t be the kind of friend you wanted? Don’t discuss the community issues like the grass and avoid her sister?
Thanks for this!
Discombobulated, Middlemarcher
  #3  
Old Dec 25, 2019, 10:13 AM
Anonymous45521
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LilyMop View Post
Is it possible she was making an honest gesture to be kind? The cookies and card might be a peace offering. Can you accept just a little bit of friendship from her even if she can’t be the kind of friend you wanted? Don’t discuss the community issues like the grass and avoid her sister?
But why? I mean, being mercenary about it... what do I get out of it?

How can one be kind but then mean? Seems like it is a contradiction.

Is friendship cookies (that I won't eat anyway) and christmas cards-- perhaps things that make her feel good -- but real friendship to me would be people supporting me as a board member. Should I just accept her faux friendship because she wants to do as little as possible to try to maintain some loyalty from me?

I mean this criticism at her, is it the thing I don't understand.. does a cheap piece of paper mean I should forget her actions?

I just don't get it.
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