[rdgrad15]

Has anyone have the experience of someone, whether it's a coworker or a friend or even family members, speak to you as if they think you're stupid or that there's something wrong with you? Sometimes the tone of voice or how they act can indicate this. Also if there is something you succeed in, some people may look at you with a shocked expression, as if they are surprised you succeeded in something. Other times, they talk to you as if something is wrong, like they think you're autistic or have some other disability that you don't actually have. I have this experience quite a bit, most recently with my coworkers.

At work, if I state something that I know for a fact is right, some of them will give me a weird look and say it isn't right and that I need to make sure I ask first. And of course, it will turn out I was right and they weren't. Usually they will look at me as if they are shocked that I was right or if I succeed in something, they seem to be surprised that I succeeded in something. Other times, they will talk to me like something is wrong with me. The most recent example would be me not wanting to sit in a specific chair. The reason is because it's one of those annoying chairs that make noises with every slight movement, and it sounds like someone is passing gas.

For me, I don't want to be sitting in a chair that makes those noises, especially at work. Last thing I need is someone thinking I keep on passing gas. So one day I went to sit down and start working on stuff and when I quickly switched that chair with another one that didn't make noises, two coworkers that were sitting at the same table kept on asking me questions about it. They talked to me in a higher tone of voice than normal and started asking what it was about the chair that made me uncomfortable. They asked me if it was the texture, how the texture made me feel, if there was anything else that bothered me. To me, I felt like this was a little unnecessary and intrusive. They asked those questions in a way that they would talk to someone who has autism or other special needs, not in the same way they talk to each other as adults.

This is a minor thing but it made me very uncomfortable. I didn't want to go into the real reason since I don't think they need to know so I just said I simply didn't like it. There's been other times where I will be asked why I don't like something and it will be asked in a way that makes me feel like I'm less than them but this was the most recent example. How do you deal with people like this? Would you consider this kind of behavior intrusive? Is there a reason some people like to talk to you like you're stupid or as if something is wrong with you? Just wondered. There are many other examples but this was the most recent one. I know I am socially awkward but there's a difference between just plain social awkwardness due to being introverted and isolated and actually autistic.

[Imokay2]

I can understand this very well. It's something I have struggled with too.
I learned over time that part of it was due to my perception of others. I learned that unless you really know someone it's almost impossible to interpret their expressions and language accurately.
I learned that I can only be responsible for myself, and this level of hyper vigilant observing only hurt myself.
I learned to manage my behavior to show that I am a non threatening participating team player, by showing a gentle interest in their well being in a way appropriate for work.
If I had issues with anyone or anything I wait till I know for sure that's what is happening and not my sensitivity and hyper vigilant thinking reinterpreting events
I also learned how to present myself as a nice person whose there to do the job I was hired to do regardless of what others say or do, by dressing in that way, and acting in that way.
If you don't think any of those ideas are relevant then maybe we work in very different careers, and your job is based on being edgy. In which case, I guess I don't know.

[rdgrad15]

Originally Posted by Imokay2

I can understand this very well. It's something I have struggled with too.
I learned over time that part of it was due to my perception of others. I learned that unless you really know someone it's almost impossible to interpret their expressions and language accurately.
I learned that I can only be responsible for myself, and this level of hyper vigilant observing only hurt myself.
I learned to manage my behavior to show that I am a non threatening participating team player, by showing a gentle interest in their well being in a way appropriate for work.
If I had issues with anyone or anything I wait till I know for sure that's what is happening and not my sensitivity and hyper vigilant thinking reinterpreting events
I also learned how to present myself as a nice person whose there to do the job I was hired to do regardless of what others say or do, by dressing in that way, and acting in that way.
If you don't think any of those ideas are relevant then maybe we work in very different careers, and your job is based on being edgy. In which case, I guess I don't know.

Oh you’re fine. I totally get what you mean. Yeah I can see how our own hyper vigilant perceptions could prove to be false if we don’t know someone well. But in terms of being edgy, I do feel like I’m on edge a lot due to constant gossiping.

[Imokay2]

Gossip is a terrible thing. Usually started by insecure people trying to get a way up at another person's expense. The truth does come out tho.

[rdgrad15]

Originally Posted by Imokay2

Gossip is a terrible thing. Usually started by insecure people trying to get a way up at another person's expense. The truth does come out tho.

Yep totally agree. And unfortunately gossiping is what my coworkers do a lot.

[Fuzzybear]

Originally Posted by Imokay2

Gossip is a terrible thing. Usually started by insecure people trying to get a way up at another person's expense. The truth does come out tho.

[rdgrad15]

Originally Posted by Fuzzybear

I agree. And thanks.

[bpcyclist]

My older brother has treated me this way my entire life, despite the fact that I graduated at the top my medical school class in a very competitive school, invented some cool sh**, and had a successful practice for years. I haven't spoken to him in 8 years. I am just fine with that.

[rdgrad15]

Originally Posted by bpcyclist

My older brother has treated me this way my entire life, despite the fact that I graduated at the top my medical school class in a very competitive school, invented some cool sh**, and had a successful practice for years. I haven't spoken to him in 8 years. I am just fine with that.

Congratulations on your successes. Yeah I don’t get why your brother is doing that if he sees that you are not stupid or that there is nothing with you. Yeah it’s probably best you didn’t associate with you.