[justlexi93]

I've been in a private relationship with this guy for almost four years until I decided to call it off since it is against all odds and he is getting married soon.

Fast forward, I met this guy who kinda reminds me of my ex who I have loved for so long. After a week I said yes, but now I want to take it back since I know for a fact that I am only using him to be happy. I apologize but he wouldn't want to let go of me. All I am asking him is for some time for myself to heal but he told me that its a bull and I am only trying to get back with my ex.

I don't know what to do, I know that I should blame myself for everything happened so fast that I can't even take it back because he doesn't want to. He keeps on telling me to love him back that I find it suffocating.

Please help me out its been days of no proper sleep and I can't even function well at work which is bad as I may lose my job.

[Open Eyes]

Cut him off, he is too controlling and you need your space.

[divine1966]

You don’t need anyone’s permission to end a relationship. Most certainly he can’t “not let you”. Him not wanting it is irrelevant. Yes when you leave a relationship, it’s likely other person wants you to stay. But it’s not up to them

[Bill3]

You can tell him no, and you should.

[~Christina]

Say

I’m sorry but I have no desire to be with you at all so leave me alone if you continue I will call the police.

If he calls or texts ignore it. If he’s at your door through the door tell him to leave or you will call police and do so

[sarahsweets]

You need to say no to both of them and move on. You deserve someone who doesnt smother you and someone who isnt getting married.

[Have Hope]

Originally Posted by justlexi93

I've been in a private relationship with this guy for almost four years until I decided to call it off since it is against all odds and he is getting married soon.

Fast forward, I met this guy who kinda reminds me of my ex who I have loved for so long. After a week I said yes, but now I want to take it back since I know for a fact that I am only using him to be happy. I apologize but he wouldn't want to let go of me. All I am asking him is for some time for myself to heal but he told me that its a bull and I am only trying to get back with my ex.

I don't know what to do, I know that I should blame myself for everything happened so fast that I can't even take it back because he doesn't want to. He keeps on telling me to love him back that I find it suffocating.

Please help me out its been days of no proper sleep and I can't even function well at work which is bad as I may lose my job.

You have control over whether you are with someone or not. He does not control you. Just tell him "no", that you cannot be in a relationship, and that you do not want to be in a relationship. He cannot control you, and you are allowing that by continuing the relationship.

And when you say you had a "private" relationship with your ex, I assume you mean that you had an affair with this person while he was committed to someone else? And then became engaged to that person?

I would seriously consider therapy for yourself, if you are not in therapy already. You will never be happy carrying on an affair with someone who is already committed. You need to reconsider your choices in life, and make far wiser choices.

And being with someone and using them as a crutch simply to feel some amount of happiness and because they remind you of your ex is not a nice thing to do to someone. It is toying with someone's emotions and heart. That's not fair.

I think you should be alone for a while and reevaluate yourself and your life choices.

[bpcyclist]

Infidelity is the road to ruin for everyone involved, whether they realize it at the time or not.

[justlexi93]

Thank you all for the kind words, you guys are right I need time to heal myself.