When people seem to treat you like you're stupid

That is what I am detecting with you rdgrad. And it's really ok to refrain from getting drawn in to engaging.

When I was a lot younger I did a lot of temp jobs for a while. I actually learned a lot when I did that because it gave me a chance to be a kind of fly on the wall and observe different work environments. Because I was just a temp, I was not part of the normal office politics. So, I got to see it all going on without anyone engaging me because I did not present any threat. I got to see similar politics in each place I worked in. So, it's always there rdgrad. Yet, you don't have to engage it, after all, the important thing is having a job you like doing.

Yep I agree.

Yep exactly. Engagement isn't necessary all the time. Only when it is truly needed and there is really no other option. And even then, you have to be careful about how you deliver the message like what was mentioned before. It could be taken the wrong way.

Hugs. I know you get it 😊👍🏻

Sadly people who act like you described make other’s life difficult. We had someone quit at work because she was not treated right by another employee and it made her life difficult. How unacceptable

One of the places I tempted for the longest period was when I worked for a Doctor of Psychology in the research department at Yale. My job was to sit with his dictaphone recordings and listen to his research and type it all into the computer so he could present it to get more grant money for his research. His particular research had to do with him picking certain individuals who had committed certain crimes and figure out what led them to commit these certain crimes. Some of the things I came across were difficult to listen to. For example, one of the individuals he was studying was a man who struggled to earn a living and his wife often worked days and he often worked nights. His wife would go to work and leave him with their infant son to take care of him while she worked. The food was scarce and the baby was hungry and crying and when he tried to feed the baby with whatever he could find, the baby did not like it and kept crying. He lost it in deep frustration and ended up killing the baby and put the baby in it's crib like it was just sleeping. The wife came home to discover the horror of what happened. And he ended up being charged with murder and inprisoned.
That was the HARDEST one I listened to that I had to enter into the computer. I was also very young at the time too, early twenties, perhaps only about 22. I was never told that some of the things I would hear would be hard to listen to either. I am 63 now, so I am sharing something I experienced just over 40 years ago. Things were not talked about like they are now. No such thing as "trigger warning" like we have now either.

This one job did not have the typical "office politics" like the other places I had worked either. This place was full of individuals that were a bit nerdy where they were mostly focusing on their research. When I say nerdy, I don't mean in any bad way, and with no disrespect either. Instead they were "deep" individuals and I actually liked all of them. The women were not shallow or all about wearing makeup and engaging in materialistic shallow talk either. It was not unusual to see some that did not even shave their legs or wear any makeup at all. Everyday there was a "teatime" break, and they would all come out of their various labs and sit and have tea. The conversations were rather deep and more engrossed in their research. I was still an outsider, yet, this was the best IMHO environment to observe out of all others I had encountered. Most other environments have the Mad Marcher types, and the Controlling individuals that simply need to be "in charge" and others like you have described in your work environment. None of that was in this environment. Honestly, I really enjoyed these individuals, including the Dr. I worked for. He was quarky and had an odd sense of humor that took some getting used to. He was ALWAYS studying others to see to how they would react. So he did some unexpected things. Like one time he left the office or so was thought and he decided to just pop his head in the doorway, sometimes high, sometimes low and with a bit of a chuckle. It took me a bit to realize, he just wanted to see how we would react. So basically, it was always odd but harmless.

Often when someone says, "it doesn't matter WHY someone is behaving certain ways, what matters is the behavior". Well, I was always one who wanted to know the why, and that is exactly what all these individuals around me wanted to know as well. And that is really what this Dr. wanted to understand about this man that chose to do what I had to listen about and type in yet will always remember how difficut it was for me to listen to what I had to type in. Yet, the one thing I also learned from that experience as well is that it's not always the louder individuals that are important or even all that interesting, instead it tends to be the quieter ones that are simply not engaging in the political dramas. It tends to be these individuals who are most interesting and have more depth to them.

I have found that here in these forums as well. I have met some extremely interesting individuals while here. They don't typically stay, but I am so glad I got a chance to meet them.

Thank you. Hugs. Oh wow, that is a shame. Yeah, totally acceptable. I know not every workplace is not perfect, but I would hope some are a bit better than others are.

Oh wow, that is a hard story to hear. What a horrible crime, glad the guy was thrown in prison for it and got a life sentence. And from what you described, that sounds like a very nice work environment. I've always considered myself an outsider in most social settings, both at work and outside of work, but I would at least feel more comfortable being in a setting you just described than what the typical workplace is like. Most workplaces, whether it's a school, office, restaurant, or anywhere like that, can involve lots of drama especially if there's a lot of downtime.

That is probably part of the problem at my work. Too much downtime. In fact, there is so much downtime that it makes me uncomfortable, most work places would have laid off employees if they experienced the amount of downtime that takes place at my work. Yes, we work with students, but not every period and especially if a student is absent, you could have at least an hour of "nothing" to do. They just sit there. And gossip.

I think when it comes to avoiding the gossip aspect, the best thing to do is find good things to read. Maybe that is when you come here to PC and post or read?

Sometimes, but not always. As tempting as it may be, I don't want to accidentally look like I'm on my phone too much, or worse, have someone come up from behind without me noticing and seeing what I'm posting or reading. Nothing good would come out of that. It all boils down to timing. I have to be careful. But yeah, reading is a good idea to avoid gossip though. Or even appearing to be busy doing something else even when you're not.

Yes, that's true, I prefer to keep my interactions here private too. Yet, in the situation you describe, I would have a good book I can sit and read. But not acting like I am antisocial, instead just putting the extra down time to good use.

One situation that I had to use up time was when I took my daughter to spend time with the Yale study group that was studying her Dyslexia. I often had to wait a long time while she was working with the different professionals. I would bring ceramic clay with me and sit and make ceramic animals that I could later take to my friend to be kiln fired. LOL, my daughter would come out wanting to see what kind of animals I made each visit. I still have them and they serve as a reminder of that time in my child's life where I was going to learn all about her special needs and how to understand and help her.

Again that Yale research and study department was a good experience for not only me but my child while we both learned some very important WHYS. That's when I learned about Dyslexia. We learned about it, yet at the same time they studied my daughter to see how well she progressed. Her last visit was around when she graduated from college.

Also, when you mentioned handicaps and challenges that can present, some handicaps are not visibile but can cause challenges when others learn about them. Challenges that can cause some hurts, which ofcourse are undeserved.

The people who ignore you or otherwise snub you, rdgrad15 probably do not have a strong sense of self-worth in my opinion.

What is that old principle in psychology . . . when you see someone projecting one thing, think the opposite. If someone is projecting strength it could be because they feel weak inside. If someone is projecting cleverness, it could be because they feel intellectually inferior inside.

Of course I am not in your shoes and could be wrong, but I wonder if people are behaving poorly towards you because they have low self-esteem. Rudeness can often be the result of low esteem, I think.

Oh that's nice. That's a good way to kill some time. And yeah, some handicaps are not visible and even when people learn about them, they deal with it poorly or even think the person is faking it or using it as an excuse.

Oh yeah I've heard that before. Yeah it is true that those with low self esteem do project their insecurities onto others. And I've wondered that about some of my coworkers. Especially a couple of them. One who doesn't seem to like me at all and honestly just comes off as very fake, and another just has a very negative attitude. But I'm sure others have insecurities of their own.

Oh absolutely in your line of work or actually most lines of work you can’t be sitting on your phone or posting or reading. Unless it’s a lunch break or you are in a bathroom. It will cause my problems than it’s worth.

Many work places don’t allow going to online forums on computers and don’t allow phones during work hours.

Sadly your position allows you too much down time when a student is absent. I am surprised they don’t find other things for you to do. It’s ridiculous.

But you got it. You know what you are doing, keep up a good work and don’t let those people bother you and cause you to do or say something wrong.

I know, I agree. In some cases we can do clerical work, but it comes in sporadic waves and it can be done very easily and quickly. The longest it took me to complete clerical work non-stop that didn't involve working with a student was about 2 hours. I am part time so I don't work as long as most people do. I only work 5 hours, but still. 2 hours of clerical work, in most cases spread out over a period of several days, is absolutely nothing. It is ridiculous. I'm surprised there haven't been any transfers although if there was ever a need, I'm sure it would happen. I would totally understand if me or anyone else got transferred.

Thank you.