[lovethesun]

Hi everyone. I'm really torn on something. My daughter's 16th birthday is coming up. I was thinking about renting a limo to take her and her friends to restaurant for dinner. Because this will be on a weekend, most of the limo companies want a 4 hour minimum at $100/hour. My daughter is a shy person. She tends to feel uncomfortable when a spotlight is shined on her. She will handle the situation well, but prefers not to have tons of attention on her. I thought this would be something different and special for her. I asked her what she thought of the idea of having a limo for her birthday. She said "honestly, I really don't care about having one". I guess that's my answer. not sure it's worth the expense if it's not something she really wants. I have to admit, part of me thinks it would be cool to do something like that in front of all the neighbors, but that's selfish and petty of me. I need to focus on my daughter. I also worry about my daughter and her friends riding alone with a stranger. Guess I've read too many of those ride share attack stories in the news. But they've probably all had background checks. What are your thoughts on the limo idea? Thanks for your input.

[Nammu]

Were do you live that restaurants are open?

If your daughter doesn't relish the idea then don't push it on her. I had a cousin who's mum was like that, always pushing her into things she didn't want. She handled it fine but once she graduated she cut off contact with her mum.

[divine1966]

Nothing is open here and it’s unsafe to be with groups of people riding in a limo and then being in a restaurant during pandemics. It amazes me how some states don’t have any limitations on people’s activities.

Now if this limo activity is intended after pandemics is over (whenever that’s going to be), then I’d not be getting limo if your daughter isn’t interested in it. She says she doesn’t care to ride in a limo, then I don’t see any reason for you to be ordering one.

What does she want to do for her birthday?

[lovethesun]

Sorry everyone.....I should have mentioned that this would be for her birthday in early July. I was thinking that the pandemic would be over by then. Good point though. It may not be in which case all this would not be happening anyway. But these are my plans if restaurants are open and things are back to normal by then.

My daughter said she wanted to take the public light rail transportation to the city and go to a japanese steak house. Light rail is cheaper, but concerned about safety for a Friday evening. And japanese steakhouses all have bad reviews.

[Have Hope]

I don’t know where you live in the US, but it may be very difficult to plan ahead for restaurants opening and having parties when we’re in a pandemic and there will likely be a phased approach to reopening. I don’t think having a limo against your daughter’s desires is the way to go. And why would you need to show off in front of neighbors? That has nothing to do with your daughter. Seems like a moot point anyways given the state of our country. I’m confused about you posting the question when your daughter says she doesn’t want a limo. Why is it a consideration?

[lizardlady]

If your daughter doesn't want the limo, then don't do it. Assuming restaurants in your area are open by your daughter's birthday why not give her what she takes for? If you are concerned about the safety of the kids you could ride the train, make sure they get to the restuarant safely, then make yourself scarce until they are ready to go home. As for the quality of Japanese steakhouses, people go as much for the show as the food. It's what your daughter would like, why not give her that?

[Bill3]

She said "honestly, I really don't care about having one". I guess that's my answer.

I agree: That is your answer.

[divine1966]

Originally Posted by lovethesun

Sorry everyone.....I should have mentioned that this would be for her birthday in early July. I was thinking that the pandemic would be over by then. Good point though. It may not be in which case all this would not be happening anyway. But these are my plans if restaurants are open and things are back to normal by then.

My daughter said she wanted to take the public light rail transportation to the city and go to a japanese steak house. Light rail is cheaper, but concerned about safety for a Friday evening. And japanese steakhouses all have bad reviews.

What do you care about bad reviews? That’s where she wants to eat. Unless reviews are all about food poisoning, who cares. Maybe she won’t like the food so then she won’t eat there next time. Is it a big group of teens? If it’s unsafe at night you can pick them up at the end.

[~Christina]

Well you save 400.00 and your daughter gets to have what she wants for her Birthday. That's assuming its safe to be out and about and in groups.

Yes your wanting to show off to the neighbors is selfish .. Maybe you want to examine why you feel the need to.

[Iloivar]

Originally Posted by lovethesun

Sorry everyone.....I should have mentioned that this would be for her birthday in early July. I was thinking that the pandemic would be over by then. Good point though. It may not be in which case all this would not be happening anyway. But these are my plans if restaurants are open and things are back to normal by then.

My daughter said she wanted to take the public light rail transportation to the city and go to a japanese steak house. Light rail is cheaper, but concerned about safety for a Friday evening. And japanese steakhouses all have bad reviews.

Well, you could mention the bad reviews, not to sway her to your idea, but simply to let her know more about the general public opinion of Japanese steakhouses in the area.

if she still expresses desire to go to one. Then I suppose you have your answer.

[sarahsweets]

Is it possible that her answer is just a typical teen answer? We through a sweet 16 for my daughter and started planning it 2 months or so ahead of time. I think my daughter was worried I wouldnt be reliable and pull it off so she seemed to be not as interested in some of the planning stuff. But when things started to come together she got excited. I personally would use the money on something else assuming July is when you will be able to do something . I also wouldnt set up and pay for this when you do not know if the restrictons will be lifted.

[Victoria'smom]

I wouldn't do the limo. As far as the steak house show her the reviews and let her decide.

[lovethesun]

Thanks Have Hope. Our state announced reopening in phases...so Phase 1, Phase 2 and Phase 3. Of course, I have no idea what phase we will be in come July. I mentioned the limo as part of the plan because I sometimes feel I need to show my daughter not to be afraid of doing something flashy once in a while. Sometimes I feel she is too passive. But perhaps it's not up to me to change the way someone was born.

[lovethesun]

Thanks Miguel's mom....good idea.

[lovethesun]

Thanks Sarahsweets....you're right. I should not book anything too early as things are still so uncertain. I think the pressure of a milestone birthday is getting to me a bit.

[Have Hope]

Originally Posted by lovethesun

Thanks Have Hope. Our state announced reopening in phases...so Phase 1, Phase 2 and Phase 3. Of course, I have no idea what phase we will be in come July. I mentioned the limo as part of the plan because I sometimes feel I need to show my daughter not to be afraid of doing something flashy once in a while. Sometimes I feel she is too passive. But perhaps it's not up to me to change the way someone was born.

Hi there. Yeah, it's hard to predict what phase your state will be in come July. I know that in my state, they want to see case numbers far down to a certain level or even at zero before moving from one phase to the next.. these various phases could take time to roll out.

You had mentioned in your original post that a part of you wanted to show the limo in front of your neighbors. I caution you to be mindful of what is your desire verses what are your daughter's own desires and needs because they may differ. You may prefer to be flashy sometimes, but your daughter may prefer to be more understated. She is her own person with her own needs and wishes, so as her mother, I am sure you can appreciate that difference between you. I understand your desire to encourage her to perhaps spread her wings more, but she may not be comfortable being any other way than how she is.

[divine1966]

I never rode in a limo and I have a good life and am not shy at all. My daughter didn’t even want limo for her wedding. Lol And she is very well adjusted adult.

There is no particular value in riding in a limo. I suggest you let that go. Nothing wrong in encouraging kids to take risks and think outside of a box like taking up new hobbies or aim to achieve exceptional things in life, riding a limo isn’t one of them .

It’s normal for parents to feel some desire of controlling what our kids do especially since she is only 16 but we don’t have other options but let go of control, a little by little. Let her do what she wants to do within reason. I know sometimes it’s hard. But they grow up and make their choices. It starts with basic choice where to eat and how to celebrate their birthdays. We can’t live through our children. We aren’t “one”, they are their own people

[Bill3]

Sometimes I feel she is too passive. But perhaps it's not up to me to change the way someone was born.

Right, it isn't up to us as parents to try to change the nature of our children.