[Mountaindewed]

Does anyone have an issue with people caring too much? I have had to block people’s number and ignore them on Facebook because they care way too much and some of these people I have not seen in 10 years. And the people around me now think their behavior is odd too. I have had old consolers and old therapists trying to reach out to me, despite the fact they already know I’ve been fine for years. I’ve had people try to buy me clothes and coffee despite the fact I have a very supportive family and a job. I’ve also had some mental health professionals call around to get info about me and I’ve had therapists take up my case because it was “interesting”

99% of these people doing this are women. Basically I just want to be left alone. I find the stuff they are doing very anxiety provoking. I can take care of myself and I do have a very good family it’s not like I don’t have any support.

[divine1966]

Oh it’s so annoying

If you don’t ask for help and aren’t even in regular communication with these folks, their intrusiveness is obnoxious. It’s annoying like heck.

Sometimes people, who don’t have their life together, act like they must be helping others with their unsolicited advice or unwelcomed analysis- your case is “interesting”. It is a deflection.

They take focus of their own messed up life and focus on others. In this case they never have to improve their own life, they are too “busy” supposedly showing support for others and give unsolicited gifts or advice when it’s not even needed or asked for.

Feel free to ignore these people. They might appear as they “care” but it’s possible it’s just their excuse not to take care of their own business.

You are doing great and don’t let this nonsense bother you

[MsLady]

Hm.. I'm not sure if their behaviours are "caring" as much as "self-fulfilling" as it puts them in a superior role over someone else. Maybe they're lacking that in their life somewhere?

I don't think there's anything wrong with touching base with an old client to see how they're doing. I think there needs to be a discussion around that too, though, like.. are you open to having them contact you in the future after your file has been closed with them?

To whomever is giving you clothes.. sensitivity, people! Why not ask you first.. or better yet, find out how you're doing before soliciting donations to an assumed "poor" person?

Ya, ego. It's annoying.

[divine1966]

Originally Posted by MsLady

Hm.. I'm not sure if their behaviours are "caring" as much as "self-fulfilling" as it puts them in a superior role over someone else. Maybe they're lacking that in their life somewhere?

I don't think there's anything wrong with touching base with an old client to see how they're doing. I think there needs to be a discussion around that too, though, like.. are you open to having them contact you in the future after your file has been closed with them?

To whomever is giving you clothes.. sensitivity, people! Why not ask you first.. or better yet, find out how you're doing before soliciting donations to an assumed "poor" person?

Ya, ego. It's annoying.

Self-fulfilling! That’s the word. I couldn’t think of what the word was

[mote.of.soul]

Originally Posted by Mountaindewed

Does anyone have an issue with people caring too much?

Uh, no. Absolutely not. I don't have the issue of people caring too much in the way you described, no [or in any way for that matter]. But that's not my point.

My question is this: would you consider yourself a physically attractive person @Mountaindewed? Obviously on a public forum such as this, you may not wish to answer that question and that's okay. Because I'm wondering if these other women might have secret other agendas of a more intimate nature. And I don't necessarily mean that in a negative way, at all.

It's obviously just speculation on my part but might be worth considering as a partial explanation for the attention given you.

Sorry you're experiencing a lot of anxiety over it as well. I'm happy you have support.

Thank you.

[Open Eyes]

If it’s an old therapist it could be that at the time they treated you they were not as knowledgeable and experienced at the time and may have a much better understanding now of the challenges you presented to them with. Just in the past five years alone more has been learned about different challenges. It could be that these individuals think about you when they learn more about the kind of challenges you have. So they are just contacting you to ask how you are doing.

It’s a good thing that you have gained on understanding and better managing your challenges.

[Mountaindewed]

Originally Posted by mote.of.soul

Uh, no. Absolutely not. I don't have the issue of people caring too much in the way you described, no [or in any way for that matter]. But that's not my point.

My question is this: would you consider yourself a physically attractive person @Mountaindewed? Obviously on a public forum such as this, you may not wish to answer that question and that's okay. Because I'm wondering if these other women might have secret other agendas of a more intimate nature. And I don't necessarily mean that in a negative way, at all.

It's obviously just speculation on my part but might be worth considering as a partial explanation for the attention given you.

Sorry you're experiencing a lot of anxiety over it as well. I'm happy you have support.

Thank you.

No I don’t consider myself physically attractive. I recently came out as transgender and I’ve always thought I’ve looked a bit unattractive my whole off life.

I am autistic and I have selective mutism so I wonder if people may think I’m mentally challenged or something? and that’s why I need help.

And I honestly can’t say that I’m not a bit. I know in high school I was called a lot of names. And I tried hiding it by reading books. But now as an adult I just don’t have the energy. So maybe that’s what these people are thinking.

[mote.of.soul]

@Mountaindewed

Gosh, I really don't have an answer to that. It doesn't seem likely because for one thing, your old counselors would know you're not mentally challenged but they're still showing the caring side. Looking at it now, I think it's probably more that people just like you as a person and want to be supportive and helpful, etc. But, as you say, it feels a bit over the top.

I have no other idea's about it, friend.

[divine1966]

People often think that people with ASD are all the same and maybe they do think you are challenged. It’s called a spectrum but people just don’t get it. The saying goes if you know one person with ASD, you only know one person with ASD. Everyone is completely different.

I hope they really mean well and are just caring but in overbearing ways

[AzulOscuro]

I’m one of these people who cares too much. Sometimes I have to put me a stop because I think I can cope with more than I do really can. And sometimes I distract myself from my own growing and this is not what I want.
I think maybe without being aware I tend to do it because I gain something. Maybe, I feel bad when someone around me have a problem and I don’t even think it twice to give them a hand. So, I think I do it for pure empathy and also because I feel better with myself.

In your case, I also thought as a mote of soul that, so much attention, excessive, as it is even for me, could be due to your attractive or something in their agendas. Maybe what Divine says or even you pointed out about you being autistic and waking up empathy.
I don’t know. I understand you don’t feel confortable with the situation.